The interview process has become cold, clinical, driven by technology and the humanity has been wrung out of it. Job descriptions can be misleading and exclude people (such as older workers), feedback is sparingly offered and hiring managers ghost candidates that they feel are not a fit. There are innumerable petty nuisances and rudeness that job seekers are forced to endure, leaving them to feel demeaned and belittled. Put yourself in the shoes of the person seeking a new job. How would you feel if you were made to submit rsums to portals and not hear a response? Why should a well-experienced person be forced to submit lengthy applications, share their college GPA from 25 years ago, along with other personal information and then left out in the cold not knowing if the rsum was even submitted to the appropriate party?
In the same right, when seeking a new position, have some compassion for hiring managers and recruiters. They try their best, but are besieged by hundreds of rsums for each job requisition. Hiring managers are attempting to do their job, while plugging the hole of the employee who left and also interview people. Companies don't generally train managers in the art of interviewing and they are thrown to the wind to fend for themselves. Their actions are more likely due to their unfamiliarity with the process rather than purposefully trying to be mean.
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It's easy to get comfortable with your clique at the office. Start reaching out to others that you don't ordinarily associate with. Put aside your hierarchical hangups. Strike up conversations with employees at all levels, races, religions, genders and economic backgrounds. Keep an open mind. If you are at a senior level, the junior employees will appreciate that you are paying attention and listening to them. You will be amazed at how much you will learn by listening to others opinions, views, ideas and perceptions.
Where is the right place? Who is the right person? When is the right time? Fortunately, President Hinckley and others have given us inspired counsel concerning these questions, and more than 60 years of research in the social sciences adds another witness to their counsel. Although the guidance I am going to share today is primarily for unmarried individuals, much of what I say can help married couples continue to strengthen their marriages.
First, we need to know a lot about the person we are thinking of marrying. As Elder Scott notes, the beliefs the person has about family life matter, and research confirms this. The more the person values marriage and family life, the better the marriage will be. President Hinckley admonishes us to choose a person we can honor, respect, and give our whole heart, love, allegiance, and loyalty to. The research shows that this kind of person will have a healthy sense of self-respect, maturity, self-control, and good mental and emotional health.
Two hallmarks of good premarital relationships that Church leaders have stressed are love and communication. These two things help couples solve problems, resolve differences, and increase agreement on important issues. President Spencer W. Kimball helped a young couple on the verge of marriage with this counsel:
The way we communicate in dating and courtship usually influences how our partner will feel about us and our relationship. Relationships are established upon the comfort and trust created by sincere communication. Research notes that positive communication, practiced in dating and courtship relationships, increases the likelihood of greater commitment, better conflict resolution, and more love between partners in their marriage.
Years of research suggest that marriage has the fewest risks of later problems when people marry in their twenties. Marrying in your teens or into your thirties simply increases the risk factors associated with poorer marital quality and stability.
Fifth, the spiritual confirmation needs to come to both parties involved. A person should not feel that if his or her partner receives a confirmation, that he or she is therefore released from the necessity of seeking a similar confirmation. Elder Dallin H. Oaks discussed this issue:
If it is right to break off a relationship, how can that be done so as to cause the least hurt? The revelation given by the Lord to Joseph Smith and contained in section 121 of the Doctrine and Covenants provides excellent counsel not only for strengthening but also ending a relationship. Especially helpful is the counsel contained in these verses:
Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy;
1. Most institutes of religion and Church universities will have a religion course numbered 234 and titled Preparation for a Celestial Marriage. It is my understanding that a new student text for the course is coming out this fall. I encourage you to take this course.
2. The Family Studies Center at Brigham Young University has a Web site designed specifically to provide resources for couples preparing for marriage. It is the Before Forever site. Its URL is Before Forever provides comprehensive and ready-to-use information online to help LDS couples better plan their future marriage. Before Forever is not a dating service or a counseling center. The site offers publications such as Ensign articles, books, and speeches about various marital and premarital topics; work sheets about different premarital and marital issues; and news and information about marriage and family events.
Our son Matt recently married a wonderful young woman from Oregon, and as my wife, Linda, and I were driving to the reception in Oregon, we reminisced about our own courtship and marriage. The more we talked, the more I remembered how immature I had been when we married.
You can use a predictor kit from a supermarket or pharmacy, to test your urine for signs of ovulation. If you start testing your urine a few days before the day you next expect to ovulate, a positive result means you are going to ovulate within the next 24 to 36 hours (one to two days).
Ovulation is when a mature egg is released from the ovary. The egg then moves down the fallopian tube where it can be fertilised. If sperm are in the fallopian tube when the egg is released, there is a good chance that the egg will be fertilised, creating an embryo, which can grow into a baby.
Pregnancy is technically only possible if you have sex during the five days before ovulation or on the day of ovulation. But the most fertile days are the three days leading up to and including ovulation. Having sex during this time gives you the best chance of getting pregnant.
Knowing when you ovulate can help you plan for sex at the right time and improve your chance of getting pregnant. You can keep track of your menstrual cycles on a chart, in a diary, or on a free period-tracker app on your smartphone.
To work out the length of your menstrual cycle, record the first day you start bleeding (first day of your period). This is day 1. The last day of your cycle is the day before your next period begins.
Professor Sarah Robertson, Director of Robinson Research Institute, University of Adelaide, highlights the key time before pregnancy that your health is most important to ensure your child has the best start to life.
I've previously asked a question on this forum about leaving grad school and moving to a new field. I'm a chemistry PhD student in my (now) second year. I've decided to leave my PhD program because my heart is not in my work, nor am I very passionate about my field (word to the wise - don't go to graduate school because you don't know what else to do). The toll of grad school has resulted in some serious damage to my mental health to the tune of depression and anxiety.
I don't have a fantastic relationship with my advisor, but it's not terrible either. There's a significant language and cultural barrier that creates a sort of disconnect between us. As far as I know, my advisor does not know that I plan on leaving, although if my lack of motivation and focus hasn't tipped him off that there's something wrong, I don't know what will. The emotional and physical toll of lying and not telling my advisor the truth is becoming debilitating. I can't focus on work, I spend most of my time feeling hopeless and scheming on how to get away as quickly as possible and I suffer from constant headaches. I never was so apathetic until about 3 months into grad school.
My main concern is that I still have two classes I need to complete in the upcoming Fall semester in order to leave with my terminal master's degree, and I'm worried that if I tell my professor now he will become extremely angry, cut my funding (even thought I'll be teaching in the fall) and make me leave the lab. I do not want to leave without having something to show for my work here. However, I think I would feel better if I just told him now and put myself out of my misery. That way he would understand where I'm coming from and why I'm acting in this way. He's paying me for the summer and the guilt I have for wanting to leave is getting out of hand.
I'm also in sort of an awkward situation where the project I'm assisting in will eventually be mine when my co-worker graduates in May and there would not be another student to take over when I leave as well. I feel like I'm just leaving my advisor out to dry.
So my primary question is, when is the best time to tell an advisor about leaving? As soon as possible? Or continue to let it sit until the fall semester starts? Is there even a "good" time to do this?
It seems to me that @Mad Jack's comment, though perhaps practical, is unethical. Funding in a PhD program is conditional on one's intention to complete the program. If you accept funding under the expectation that you will take a certain long term action, then if you clearly realize that you no longer have the intention to complete that action then you are behaving deceptively, hence unethically, by hiding that information. In an academic job by contrast, you sign a yearly contract. Unless/until you have tenure, you could be dismissed at the end of any academic year. Even when you have tenure you are rarely receiving university resources which would be wasted if you did not have a multi-year commitment, and if you do find yourself in a position of receiving those resources with the intention of leaving, then you are behaving unethically. 152ee80cbc
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