Why You Need To Be Realistic About Expectations with Your Kids
It has been seen quite often that a child’s behavior starts to embarrass parents in front of the others. As a result, the parents give time-out in order to make the child realize about the behavior. But instead, the child starts to throw tantrums and kick the walls due to sheer anger. It further ignites emotions of the parents and they punish the child. At this specific moment, the parents might need to think about the expectations they associate with their child.
According to a survey, it has been found that there is a considerable gap between the expectations of parents and the capability of children to fulfill those expectations. It means that parents sometimes assume their children to do something which they are not yet ready to do. As a result, it causes frustration in the parents and they do not hesitate to punish the kids.
There are a few aspects which the parents need to keep into consideration.
All of us want our children to learn and practice the act of sharing with the other kids. But parents sometimes associate unrealistic expectations with the kids. What they fail to understand is the fact that habit of sharing naturally starts from a certain age. Before that time, it can be termed only as injustice to expect the children to share toys with the others. The habit of sharing usually starts developing from the age of 3 – 4. But, the parents now days are usually found to be quick to call their two-year old selfish if he/she doesn’t let the other kid to touch the toy he/she has been playing with for the last 15 minutes.
Most of the parents of preschoolers complain about their children being unable to follow the house rules. While some of the parents insist their children to follow those rules with positive behavior, some resort to punishments, which is quite cruel. It commonly turns out to be the worse practice as children get hardened in their habit of breaking the rules.
Research shows that inability to control pulse in the children below age three is basically good thing. This is the developmental phase of their life and they try to learn about the things by being defiant. Their ability to control impulse starts to develop after the age of three.
One of the most irritating things about children for the parents is tantrums. Children throw tantrums a lot. Parents sometimes seem to show punitive behavior when they witness their children throwing tantrums. While they may be able to silence their kids in the homes, the children also throw these tantrums in the public.
The most unrealistic thing about parents’ expectations regarding emotional control in their kids is that they want it to be there at pretty younger age. A child under the age of 3.5 is fairly unable to control his/her emotions. Nevertheless, most of the parents of the children of age 1 to 2 start to expect their children to control their emotions. Hence, it can also be speculated that many parents wouldn’t hesitate to punish their children for being unable to control emotions.