“...And they lived happily ever after”. But who ever does live happily ever after? In such a diverse world, how do we ever find our “one true love” like in the fairy-tales? I’m not a princess in need of help, nor am I a poor girl on the outskirts of town that is destined to love the prince. I’m a girl in the middle of a tourist city, surrounded by people with new standards of love. 

Back in the mid 1900s, let’s say the 50s, you would typically see more people involved in more formal dating rituals, with strict etiquette rules for both men and women. While the concept of “going steady”, with the term “talking stage” currently, being popular in the 50’s, it led to people getting engaged and married at younger ages. Along with this, the autonomy of new technology during this era allowed people to spend more time together in bigger social settings like drive-ins and dances. One of the more negative themes of this era of love was the relationship and marital roles being heavily influenced by traditional gender norms. 

But, when you look at how relationships work in modern times, you can see a lot of similarities and differences. One of the similarities is how “going steady” or being in the “talking stage” is one of the ways to become exclusive with another person. Some of the differences though are those between the gender norms and how long relationships last. There are groups of people now that only go into relationships with one goal in mind, and it is not marriage. Those people will be “in that relationship” for about a week or two and then, poof, they’re gone. I have found that this theme is too commonly found. On a lighter note, relationships that are found now may not be as much leaning towards the gender norms that were found in the early 1900s, as women have more autonomy in their own lives and in their relationships. 

Although some aspects of dating are changing over time, one of the biggest changes that is occurring is the fact that many people's standards are raised too high. While some people base their standards off of personality, some may base it off of physical appearance. Whether it's from an actor that they see in a television show, or a popular singer or influencer, many people have stated that they have certain standards for their partner to meet. These standards could include height, race, hair type, eye color, how wealthy they are, where they live, and many other factors. Along with race, many people have been seen almost fetishizing certain types of people. An example of this is what many call “Korea-boos” where women, typically either American women or non-Asian women, thrive to date a Korean man. This typically comes from the influence of Korean culture in current media.

On the contrary, I wish for a love that suffocates me. A love that extends beyond surface level. I want someone who can love me for me. But in this day and age, it almost seems impossible. By comparing yourself to others, and wishing that you have what they have, love deems itself unworthy of you. 

Being an avid reader, one of my favorite book genres to read is romance books. It transports you to worlds of love and hope that seem impossible to find in real life. Sometimes, people raise their standards of love to the fictional characters that they read about in books.

But that’s just the thing, they’re fictional characters. They're written by the author to seem like they are the most perfect person and love in the world. While in reality, there may not ever be people that live up to those expectations and standards.

 Yet, you can find that someone once in a blue moon. When the perfect someone comes around, it seems like it was meant to be.

“Once upon a time, I fell in love and everything was right in the world, and we lived happily ever after”. If only love could be found like in the storybooks.