boots and bones

Cash woke before dawn, groaning as he turned onto his side. The cowboy had a bad back, made worse by his sweat-stained mattress - which was really a burlap sack full of hay. With difficulty, he sat up and rubbed his eyes with calloused hands. He looked out the window, watching purple stains bleed into the black horizon. With a great and heavy sigh, Cash rose. 

The three other men who lived in the bunkhouse were still fast asleep; Cash liked waking before the rest. This meant that he could be the first one to crawl back into bed when the evening came. Cash pulled on his old jeans and slipped into a worn pair of leather chaps. He buttoned his shirt and slung his vest over it, catching a whiff of man and manure as he did so. Cash stunk so bad he could hardly stand it.

 He stumbled out of the bunkhouse and into the chill air of the Montana plains. It was April, soon to be May, but the nights were still cold. Cash rubbed his hands together as he walked down the line of boots laid out on the porch. Once the snow melted, the cowboys left their shoes outside so as not to drag the day’s worth of shit and dirt into the cabin. Of course shit and dirt would always find a way in. By now, it's what the men were made of.

Each pair of boots was an embodiment of their wearer. Cash took special interest in a fine brown pair, which, though muddied, were largely unscuffed and decorated with a rearing stallion on either calf, delicately outlined in red thread. Cash’s boots, a simple black pair worn nearly to the sole, looked miserable and dirty in comparison. He pulled them on begrudgingly and walked to the horse stables, hugging his jacket closed.

Cash saddled up one of the horses, a great mare with a honeyed coat and intelligent eyes. He called her Sue because she was his favorite and that was his mother’s name, but he was careful not to do so in front of the other men. He led Sue out of the stables and mounted her, riding away from the ranch and down into the valley, past the pond. Cash drove Sue far out into the plains, something he did with a different horse each morning in order to keep their condition up. Cash loved riding, loved getting away from the stink of his bunkmates. 

When he reached the valley, Cash felt a painful spasm in his lower back and dismounted Sue, doing a few stretches as she grazed. He noticed something shining in the distant grasses, catching the light of the rising sun. Cash approached what he discovered was an empty whiskey bottle - strange, the ranch was the only sign of life for miles and miles and the other men never came out this far. He saw something else, a patch of dirt left unconcealed by the fresh spring grasses. 

Cash took Sue by the reins and walked her over to what he discovered was a small hole in the ground. He bent down, his back trembling from the effort. As he raked his fingers over the soil,they closed around something hard. Cash lifted a long stony object from the ground. He brushed it off carefully and lifted it up to the light. It appeared to be a bone of some sort, not like one Cash had ever seen before. It was very heavy and, by the looks of it, very old. As he turned it over in his hands, Cash thought of a newspaper article one of the older cowboys had read to him some months back, about a Wyoming rancher who found a dinosaur fossil and struck it so rich, he never had to work again. 

Cash ran his hands through the dirt but found nothing else. He covered the exposed patch as best he could and left the empty whiskey bottle beside it as a marker. Sticking the bone in the satchel on Sue’s saddle, he mounted her and eagerly rode back towards the ranch. 

At around nine o’clock, the cowboys finished their morning chores and gathered outside the bunkhouse for breakfast. Cash brought Sue to the stables, gave her and the other horses each a bale of hay, and snuck back into the cabin. He made sure none of the other men were in sight before slipping the old bone into his pillowcase. 

Breakfast was always beans. Sometimes bread. That day, Cash lamented, it was only beans. He came over  and removed his hat, sitting down on an old log and dropping his head onto his knees. Lane was already standing over the pot of mushy beans, ladling them into his tin eagerly. Lane was older, had been a cowboy for a long time and was used to going on cattle drives. For him, ranching was light work and he never seemed to tire. 

“You alright? Yer lookin’ a little green,” Lane drawled through a wet mouthful of beans. Cash straightened with a flinch just as Hayden sat down beside him. He cast a bitter look at Hayden’s shoes, the finely embroidered brown boots. “It’s just my back,” Cash grumbled. The three men ate their beans in silence, Cash choking them down with much difficulty and fidgeting all the while. Lane was back out on the ranch by the time Reno sat down for his fill. Reno only had one eye. The men knew very little about him, save that he did some time in Nevada for shooting a man in the stomach. 

Cash quickly finished his beans and made for the pen where the men were keeping the younger cattle. Hayden jogged up behind him, slapping his back hard and causing Cash to cry out. “Pond at sunset,” Hayden growled into Cash’s ear on his way past. Cash pulled his shoulders back, hearing a loud crack and feeling a bit of tension release. He watched Hayden jog away lightly.

The day passed slowly and when the sun finally began to set, Cash eagerly made his way to the pond. It was about a mile from the bunkhouse and rarely used by Reno or Lane, who both preferred to rot in their own stink. Cash stripped off his clothes, threw them over a rock, and eased himself into the cool water. He lay on his back, feeling light and airy for the first time all day. The sun set lower and lower in the sky and eventually, a figure emerged from the surrounding darkness, making Cash jump. Hayden laughed coarsely, “Gotcha.” Cash let out an uneasy chuckle before meeting Hayden’s eyes. 

Hayden was tough, a proud Texan talker and a gambler who was a few years older than Cash. He was known amongst the men for being proud and a bit self-serving, often leaving the more difficult jobs to the other ranchers. He had four daughters back home, three with his wife and one with a lady in Marfa who, in his own words, “had a coupla blessings I couldn’t say no to.” Hayden never denied himself pleasure, it was pain he had a low tolerance for. 

Hayden undressed and slipped into the pond, gliding past Cash easily. They floated silently for a moment, their bodies eager and bare, before Hayden took Cash’s head in his hands and began to kiss him. The men moved up against each other, inside and out, with familiarity and aggression. Finally, they pulled away and fell back into the pond, floating together as the water went still. 

After a moment of tranquility, Hayden lifted himself from the pond and began to dress. Hayden sat on a rock as if to pull his boots on, but instead whistled to get Cash’s attention. Cash swam to the edge of the pond just as Hayden pulled the large fossilized bone from his shoe. “So where’d you find it?” Cash stood suddenly and stomped out of the water, making to grab the bone. “You goin’ through my stuff?” Hayden pulled it out of reach quickly, “I saw you sneak into the bunkhouse before breakfast, looked awful smug ‘bout somethin’.” 

Cash made another swipe, “Give it back!” Hayden dodged him again, his back now to the pond. “Hey now, we’ll split whatever comes of it, two to one, how’s that?” Cash lunged again, this time grabbing Hayden by the shoulders and pushing him over. Hayden’s head caught one of the rocks at the water’s edge before both men fell back into the pond. Cash wrestled Hayden under the water, pushing him down while ripping the bone from his hand. Blood was oozing from Hayden’s head and had begun to stain the pool. His grip finally loosened. Cash emerged from the water panting, holding the bone over his head in victory. 

Behind him, Hayden lay face down in the pond, the water once again growing still. A moment of hesitation passed before Cash ran back in and flipped Hayden over. He shook the man, but his head only lolled. His dark eyes were still open and stared blankly up at the stars. Cash pulled Hayden out from the pond and hurriedly got himself dressed, shivering from both the chill and his adrenaline. He tucked the bone into his boot, left Hayden’s body by the water's edge, and broke into a stiff jog back to the bunkhouse.

Reno and Lane were both fast asleep upon Cash’s return. He quietly tucked the bone back into his pillowcase and snuck into the stable to get a shovel. He then jogged out to the pond, hacking and spitting from the effort. But when Cash returned to the scene of the altercation, he was horrified to discover that Hayden’s body was gone. Cash jumped into the pond, still fully clothed, fearing he had slipped back into the water. But the shallow depths, which were still tinged pink, concealed nothing but pebbles and mud. “Hayden?” Cash called hoarsely. The cicadas sang a lonely response but all else was silent. 

Cash resolved to return to the bunkhouse. Perhaps an animal had taken him, or perhaps he hadn’t been entirely dead and had walked a ways. He wouldn’t go far. As Cash began his return, he tripped over something. Hayden’s boots, which the man hadn’t gotten the chance to put back on, were just as he had left them. Cash surveyed the area, checking for any signs of life before slyly bending down and sliding off his tattered boots. He donned Hayden’s, which fit him well and were only slightly too snug. Then, with his own pair in hand, he made his way to bed.

Cash hardly remembered falling asleep, but soon he awoke to two calloused hands shaking his shoulder. He opened his eyes and saw Lane looming over him, “Get up boy, it’s damn near eight o’clock!” Cash sat up with some effort, feeling a sharp pain at the base of his spine. Lane eyed Cash as he dressed, “You seen Hayden last night?” he asked. His tone was even and measured. “Not since dinner. Why?” Cash replied without looking at the other cowboy. “No trace of him. His stuff’s all gone. Looks like he packed up and ran.” Cash turned to face Lane now, “His stuff is gone?” Lane gave Cash a curt nod before heading back outside. 

Cash let Lane distance himself from the cabin before sticking his hand into his pillowcase and wrapping his fingers around the old bone. He relaxed slightly after confirming its presence. Cash walked to the back of the bunkhouse where Hayden slept. There was no sign that his bed had ever been occupied. Hayden’s clothes, his numbered photographs, and even the small bottles of whiskey he hoarded in his nightstand drawer, were all gone. Unnerved, Cash stepped outside. To his surprise, Hayden’s boots were still on the porch where Cash had placed them beside his shabby ones. He thought for a moment before jamming his feet into Hayden’s pair. They felt a bit tighter than they had the night before. On his way down the stairs, he kicked his own shoes to the side.

Cash managed a few chores around the ranch before it was time for breakfast, which was just beans again. Lane’s face betrayed no emotion when Cash sat down beside him, flashing Hayden’s boots. The older man passed Cash a can of beans. “Where do you figure he went?” Cash asked. Lane only shrugged. Reno sat down a few minutes later with a grunt. The three men ate in silence and Lane soon discarded his can and took his leave. As Cash stood to follow suit, Reno cleared his throat, “Bad luck to wear another man’s boots.” “Well, clearly he didn’t want ‘em anymore,” Cash returned. 

The older men didn’t seem much invested in Hayden’s absence, figuring he had deserted them in favor of other comforts, and the day was much the same as any other day. Cash, Lane, and Reno split the responsibilities that had been delegated to Hayden, with Cash being assigned the largest share. He didn’t mind and occupied himself with the thought of riding to the nearest town once the weather got hot, the old bone tucked away in Sue’s satchel and the promise of riches on the horizon. 

When the sun set and the men ate their fill of beans for dinner, Cash slipped off Hayden’s boots and left them in their usual place on the porch before stripping off the rest of his clothes and climbing into bed. He stuck his hands into his pillowcase, stroking the length of the bone. Soon, Cash fell into a fitful sleep. He dreamt of great lizards running through the Montana valley with jaws unhinged, chomping their great sharp teeth. 

Cash woke the next morning when Lane splashed him with a cup of cold water. “What’s the matter with you boy? Get up!” Cash wiped the water from his face and sat up, shivering as Lane stormed out of the bunkhouse.Cash dressed quickly, wondering what time it was. Once he stepped out onto the porch, he saw the sun was already high in the sky and the dying embers at the firepit told him he had missed breakfast. 

Cash jammed his feet into Hayden’s boots without looking down and shrieked suddenly.  He ripped the right boot off and saw a few drops of blood trickling through his filthy sock. Reno, having heard the commotion, jogged over and picked up the discarded boot. As he did so, a Giant Desert Centipede fell out, plopping onto the ground and scurrying away before anyone could think twice. Cash dropped onto the porch with his foot in his lap, weeping and thrashing from the pain. Reno put a bracing hand on Cash’s shoulder just before he slipped out of consciousness, his head hitting the floor with a dull thud. 

He dreamt that he was back out in the valley digging up more bones. Cash pulled each fossilized piece out of the dirt, carefully brushing it off and lining it up with the rest. There were many parts, and with each new bone that Cash placed, the severed creature began to take the shape of a man. 

He woke with a start and was immediately hit with a wave of pain radiating from both his back and his foot. He was lying in his bunk, his left leg propped up on a few old pillows. It was dark in the bunkhouse, but Cash could see a figure standing beside his bed. His eyes, weary from pain and exhaustion, could not distinguish which of the men it was. Cash whimpered as the figure handed him a small bottle filled with amber liquid. “For the pain,” they grumbled. Cash eagerly unstoppered the bottle and downed a sip, immediately feeling himself go dull. As his heartbeat slowed, Cash was pulled back into another long and tiresome spell of dreams. 

When he next awoke, the sun was shining in through the windows. Cash immediately reached for the little bottle, taking two generous swigs. He tenderly put a hand on his swollen foot and began unravelling the bandages. The skin between his big toe and the rest of his foot had split down the middle. There was a large red boil forming around the opening, its edges were tinged with purple. Cash threw his head back down into his pillow, stifling a scream. 

Then he sat up suddenly and thrust his hand into his pillow case. The bone was gone. Cash rifled through his sheets desperately before limping out of bed, his bitten foot in the air, and flipping his mattress. With his eyes half closed, and his heart thumping in his ears, Cash deliriously began searching the beds of the other two men, ripping their things apart. When he came up empty, Cash hastily threw on whatever clothes were accessible to him and ran out onto the porch. 

He thrust his left foot into one of Hayden’s boots, and then his right, crying out as he felt the blister pop against the leather. Cash limped to the stable, mounted Sue, and without thinking twice - he rode away from the ranch. He bid the horse faster and faster, racing her down towards the valley. He felt the effects of the amber liquid coursing through him, slowing his heart and clouding his head. As Sue ran, Cash faded and released her reins. 

He fell off the horse, hitting the ground with a cry. He lifted his head to see Sue disappearing into the distant landscape, unburdened. Cash’s pain was so sharp that despite his subdued state, he felt his foot was aflame. He had thrown his back when he flew off the horse and now he clawed his way into a sitting position by leaning himself against a young tree. 

Cash sat with his eyes half closed, taking in the surrounding landscape. It was a beautiful day and the sun was high in the sky, unobscured by a single cloud. He wondered if the other men would find him, or if they would even bother to go looking. Just as he thought this, a figure appeared in the distance. It was hazy at first glance, its edges undefined like a mirage. As it approached, Cash stiffened, recognizing its familiar gait. It was Hayden, just as he had been two days before. As Hayden approached, Cash noticed that the man was walking barefooted through the grass. 

Cash could do nothing but widen his eyes in terror, his body inert from both the pain and whatever potion he’d drank. Hayden approached and stood over him. “Please…”, Cash pleaded weakly. Hayden bent down, put a firm hand on each of Cash’s calves, and pulled off his boots. Cash screamed in pain and fell over on his side, whimpering. He looked down at his right foot, which was turning black around the edges. Hayden put his boots back on decidedly before walking up to Cash and lowering his right foot down onto his head. “I’m sorry,” Cash whispered. 

When Cash looked up at Hayden, he noticed the light of the sun passing through his body, ever so slightly - as though he was made of very fine silk. Hayden pressed his boot down into Cash’s face before releasing him and turning away. Cash clawed at the grass, retching as he forced his body back into a sitting position. Hayden was gone. Cash let himself fall back onto the ground. 

☄☄☄

It’s winter in the valley. Everything is wrapped up neatly in a glittery white blanket of snow. There are bones here, but they won’t be found until the thaw. Lizard, man, or beast. It’s all the same.