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I have been in conversations lately where the role of the inner critic has been brought up. For the mentorship work I do with Vision 20/20, we often get messages from the leaders, founders and change makers that we work with around their hesitancy to share their message or to be visible with their work. Most of the inner critic lines that we have encountered are:

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Not only do these inner critic voices pop up in work, they also pop up in our everyday lives especially when we are feeling threatened or uncertain. I recently had my inner critic voice surface yesterday during a conversation with the Mammacare nurse after hearing the results of the pathology report. It was not the news we wanted to hear, and in the midst of the shock of knowing that I would have to go for further treatments for adjunct therapy for breast cancer, I also heard myself saying these lines:

These self-criticisms often become limiting beliefs that can stop us from pursuing things or prevent us from exploring other options. These are voices that remind us of our flaws and failings. These are also critical stories that we have heard before in our childhood. Not only do these beliefs affect the way we feel and treat ourselves, they also influence how others see and treat us.

Through the information we store in our brain about the experiences that we had as babies and our caregivers, we develop cues about relationships based on these early experiences. We learn to interpret life based on these early messages and interactions and draw conclusions on how to act and respond oftentimes triggering fight, flight or freeze responses in our sympathetic nervous system when.

For individuals who experienced unstable, toxic relationships with their caregivers, they grew up in an environment where they are in constant state of arousal (fight, flight or freeze). The much needed co-regulation from trustworthy caregivers are not met and the parasympathetic nervous system which is responsible for calming the body is not activated.

All of these shame, guilt and toxic experiences are stored in our hippocampus, the part of the limbic system responsible for consolidating memory. Our brain store memories on how we should respond to situations when we feel threatened, uncomfortable or uncertain. The internalised negative messages about ourselves and what we can expect from others are triggered responses that we have carried with us ever since we are babies. This is why we are hardwired to respond in certain ways to unpleasant situations and unfortunately can cause us to react within certain behaviour patterns or coping stances.

The PERSONAL ICEBERG METAPHOR by Virginia Satir (et al.) is used as a change and transformational tool to explore the self. It suggests that behavior is visible to others in the external world, but the internal world lies "below the water line" and is hidden from view.

Each layer under the water represents a part of personal experiences that are unique to each individual, and if explored, gets us closer to our essence- to who we are in the world. The Personal Iceberg Metaphor is a visual tool which can allow us to peel the layer, seek meaning and facilitate change within our human inner experiences - both the behaviours visible in the external world and those that lie below the waterline.

Satir thought that these stances "originated from a state of low self-worth and imbalance, in which people give their power to someone or something else. People adopt survival stances to protect their self-worth against verbal and nonverbal, perceived and presumed threats."

They tend to disregard own feelings of worth, hands power to others, and say yes to everything. They are often depressed, see themselves as victims, and feel helpless and hopeless. They are concerned about how they will be perceived, oftentimes looking for approval from others, and their response to stress is to avoid it.

They criticize everybody else, harasses and accuse other people or circumstances. The blamer discounts others, and honours only self and the context. They are fault finders who feel powerless and uncared for and as a result, they try to be loud, tyrannical and cut everyone down.

The person shows no emotion or affect. They are calm, cool, collected and oftentimes referred to as a 'computer". Keeping one's self as motionless as possible and think as hard as possible about being proper and correct. Functions with context only, and uses data and logic to rationalize everything. They may not know how to feel nor to express their feelings with words. Their responses tend to be intellectual, authoritative, and reasonable and come as a lecture to the other person.

They do things or say things that are irrelevant to the context, and reality, or the other person. Distractors cannot focus on a subject, they change focus consistently, and attempt to distract others from the issue. When asked a question they often do not answer it directly and may respond with a joke, offer lightness, or entertain the groups to laugh.

 FACTS/SENSE INFORMATION: What information are my senses telling me? What am I hearing, seeing, and experiencing? STORY: What meanings do I make of what I hear, see, and experience? CONTEXT: What is the context around the behaviors that I hear/see/experience? 

 What coping stances do you notice for yourself? (This might vary depending on who you are interacting with and the context) When, where and with whom do you notice this pattern? What resources do you use when you notice this pattern emerging? 

This work might also be triggering you to further hyper-aroused mode, so please be gentle and give yourself grace and compassion as you are exploring this. Perhaps invite a friend who can work with you on these prompts and can help in co-regulation.

I have some Spank Oozy parts on my MTB (bars and stem) and it is good stuff. Guitar Ted has been sampling a set of Vibrocore gravel bike bars from them and they have wheels and rims too. Spank has more of a Pink Bike appeal to their products rather than Riding Gravel, but good is good.

Now that said, it is not an expensive saddle at $75.00 and if I was setting up a back-country bike, maybe for bike packing or exploring, and I were more upright, then I could run this for sure. Proof of that came from sitting up bit more as I pedaled where that wide feeling went away and the support and shape was a credit, not a debit.

I did notice some sharp edges on the saddle base at the wings of the saddle, enough to be concerned about in a crash. A bit of light sanding or filing would take care of that, but I would rather not have to.

I needed to test one more saddle in this series, so I moved it to the road bike for a bit to see how that was. My Orbea is not the most compliant frame and the seat post by FSA, while carbon-ish, is a bit less than supple. We shall see, but so far it seems to be an answer to my needs and it should be very comfortable over long hours. Did I mention it is light? 197g? Wow. Lightest of the bunch and it costs $135.00 Want a cheaper version? Cro-mo rails save you $40.00 and add 50g. The Ti rails could be more compliant than the cro-mo ones but I do not know that for sure. There is also a Boost MTB version and a Hers version for the ladies.

In the review I had mentioned that I would be trying it a road bike as I had been quite impressed with the tech in the saddle and how that impacted the ride quality. I moved the saddle over to my carbon road bike and did a total of about 150 miles on it over three rides, one a 4.5 hour, 70 mile ride in the high mountains. I was surprised to find that it did not work as well as I expected, however I think I know why.

First of all, the way the saddle muted sharp impacts was so very, very, good. It took a somewhat stiff bike and a rather stiff seatpost and made it feel supple. Excellent. Yet it did it all without deep padding or a splooshy feeling. That matches what I felt on the gravel bike.

Note that I am more sensitive to this now at my age and after decades of saddle time. If I were younger, I doubt I would even care. Remember that this was why I found the Fabric Scoop a bit of a miss for me.

Note: Spank, Fabric, and Tioga sent out these saddles for test and review at no charge to Riding Gravel. We were not paid nor bribed for this review and we will always strive to give our honest thoughts and opinions throughout.

What about riding the Hers undercover carbon at 155mm wide? I ride a Phenom 155mm and I get the same results awesome on the singlespeed when you are very active not so much on the tandem where there is a lot of sitting.

It was a rainy morning but we were welcomed into Femme Fatale, like a hug from an old friend. Grace has such a gorgeous energy, and as we sat down to have a deep and meaningful chat we felt like we were at home.

Our conversation travelled from what made her fall in love with tattooing and where she is on her own tattoo journey to the dogs that have become her family and how she feels about being a heavily modified woman in this world.

There were loads of punks and heavily tattooed people, like I'd never seen before. Then it just went from there. They were some of the earliest memories of actually interacting and seeing tattoos firsthand.

I've always thought of body modification and tattooing as a really good way for me to express myself, do something therapeutic, help me go through something, help me work through something, help me break through to the next kind of evolution of who I want to be.

I might not get tattooed for a year, six months, maybe longer. Then when I get that calling to get something done, or I feel like I'm in the mood to go through the tattoo experience, then I'll do it and I'll probably knock out a few. 18c6514909

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