DRIVEN
Your neighbour, who’s lived here donkey’s years,
says she was a chauffeur during the war,
drove for a Great General. People always
got out of her way. When you offer
to take her to the shops she sometimes
forgets where she is, confuses who she was
with now, and gives commands as if you
are an obstruction and she is ferrying
important cargo to its destination.
Margot often takes offence, is possessive
of your shared drive, for instance,
refuses parcels when you are out.
At night, you dream you are asleep
in the back seat of a chauffeured car,
your cheek pressed up against firm, soft leather,
your body tadpoled into itself, surrounded
by the smell of childhood, or kidnap.
The nasty letter Margot wrote about some slight
or other wears tracks across your eyes.
It’s dark beyond the windows when you wake,
and snowing slightly. Sitting up you see
the wipers flitting to and fro, a signpost
in the headlights: ‘Distraction’ to the left,
‘Exhaustion’ to the right; a bird beats panic
in your chest. The post caves and the car flips over.
Pain in your ribs, a smell of petrol and manure,
the bellow of some frightened beast. Dew.
There is a brief interval, as there can be in dreams,
then morning sun on your face, a rising mist.
Your eyes shut uneasily as
a voice says, metronomically,
‘you have reached your destination.’
ON AND ON AND ON
a brief history of M.E./CFS
D’you remember the Duracell bunnies?
In the 80s they went on and on and on.
Their brethren with regular batteries
slowed right down,
toppled over with a disappointing whirrrr-rr-r-kck!
You knew which battery to pick –
the one with the copper top.
I run worse than those batteries, have
fewer choices. You think this is a metaphor?
Nope, not really: whirrr-rr-r-kck!
Cath has two poetry collections in print, most recently This Not a Stunt (Valley Press, 2017) which explores trans/gender and disability literature and life. She is queer, disabled and autistic. She also writes for children and has recently finished a commission with materials scientists to make a book for young children which is being given away free to schools, libraries and foodbanks in Leeds.