DISPUTATIO
A Method of Scholasticism Set to the Rhythm of Despacito
AS SUNG BY PETER ABELARD & THOMAS AQUINAS
ABELARD
Coming over after the Lectio
So thankful for that, it’s just a blessing
Turn every situatio into a questio, yeah
Oh, you are my opponent in my debate
St. Benedict not governing how I ate
Made me wanna savour every meal, slowly
The dispute’s tailor-made, love how you make your points
Got the answer key; it’s the communion
The summae that you make; the only words I want to read
Unless another scholar has disagreed
AQUINAS
Tú, tú eres escolástico, es todo mental
Me voy acercando y voy armando el plan
Solo con persarlo tengo el determinatio
Ya, ya me estás gustando mas de lo normal
Somos dos enanos a hombros de gigantes
Esto hay que pensarlo con algún apuro
BOTH
Dis. Pu. Ta. Tio
This is how we do it in the Roman Lascio
I can’t wait to hear your determinatio
ONLY ABELARD
Or my name isn’t Abelard comma Tácio!
BOTH
Dis. Pu. Ta. Tio
AQUINAS
Desnudar tus argumentos defectuosos
Salir del laberinto, todo victorioso
escribir un manuscrito muy brilloso
BOTH
Dis. Pu. Ta. Tio
Beatriz Seelaender is a Brazilian author. Her work has appeared in The Collapsar, Drunk Monkeys, Cagibi, Soft Cartel, and many others. She has won both the Sandy Run Award and the Bottom Drawer Prize for her novellas. Seelaender lives in São Paulo with her shih tzu, Uli.