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These are a collection of sermons from Kenneth E. Hagin from the HSRC Reel-to-Reel collection. Hagin was a Pentecostal evangelist and pastor who founded Rhema Bible Church and Bible College in Tulsa, Oklahoma. Many of these sermons are focused on the Holy Spirit from the 1960s. While many Hagin's sermons in the 1980s-1990s are prevalent, there are few places you can hear Hagin during this era.

At first this song was going to be a work of fiction about a character losing his/her sense of touch. As I imagined what that must feel like, I realized I was actually writing an intensely personal song. I've gone through seasons of my life where I've felt like I was stuck in between joy and sorrow. A purgatory of sorts, where I wasn't present and enjoying the good in my life, but also not fully processing or feeling the bad either. Just numb. It's a terrible state to be in, because by eliminating pain, we eliminate the possibility of joy. Over the last couple years, I've fallen into that heart-space on and off. I don't like it. Honestly, I process it indirectly in all of my song writing to some extent, but it all pooled together in the lyrics of this song.

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The "near-death clich" lyric is fairly obvious as to what it means- I want to avoid having to nearly lose it all to have some great realization. I liked the idea that this song is open-hearted and a calling out for help, but it also accepts and acknowledges that things could be so much worse, if I let the glue dry. These lyrics also remind me not to be lazy in my efforts to fix the broken things in me... "all I want is to flip a switch," to me, that's almost like praying for lessons to not be learned, which is kind of unreasonable and lazy! Though it's what I want, these words remind me that healing is hard and necessary work.

Speaking of violins, my amazingly talented pal, Joanna Hui recorded all of the violins you hear on this song. Similar to how we approached violins on "Daughter," I told her to just come on over to the studio and I'll just explain some vague ideas and press record and see what happens. She did such a lovely job and I feel like the strings on this song embody the struggle and beauty I wrote about in the lyrics.

So I recorded this song in my home studio during the remodeling/construction, which was happening right above me. Constant hammering, sawing, drilling, etc. After days of almost losing my marbles, I decided that I should just go with it, so the drums you hear in the big chorus towards the end of the song are layered with those construction noises. A dozen or so tracks of real demolition right above my studio: smashing, walls breaking, hammering, drilling, etc. All edited into kick drums and snare layers. I thought that was a fun way to capture the environment that this song was written in. It also felt fitting with the lyrics - a song about needing remodeling.

The first verse and chorus of this version of the song is heard in Star Trek: The Next Generation (Season 3, Episode 18 "Allegiance"), sung in Ten Forward by Patrick Stewart, in-character as an alien doppelgnger of Captain Jean-Luc Picard.[7] Both are also sung by Peter Ustinov and Dean Jones in the 1968 Disney movie Blackbeard's Ghost.[8] 006ab0faaa