Pride In Reverse (Step 4Â continued)

Pride in Reverse (Step 4 continued): A Guide to Overcome Pride and Fear in the Fourth Step of the 12-Step Program

The fourth step of the 12-step program is to make a "searching and fearless moral inventory" of ourselves. This step requires us to examine our past actions, thoughts, and feelings, and to identify our character defects, such as pride, fear, anger, resentment, selfishness, dishonesty, and more. The purpose of this step is to help us become aware of our shortcomings and to prepare us for the next steps of admitting them, asking for help, and making amends.

However, many people find this step difficult and challenging, as it involves facing the truth about ourselves and confronting our fears and insecurities. Some people may avoid or postpone doing this step, while others may do it superficially or dishonestly. One of the common obstacles that prevent us from doing a thorough and honest inventory is pride. Pride is a false sense of self-importance that makes us think that we are better than others, that we don't need help, that we don't make mistakes, or that we don't have to change. Pride can also manifest as reverse pride, which is a false sense of self-pity that makes us think that we are worse than others, that we are hopeless, that we are victims, or that we don't deserve forgiveness. Pride in any form can keep us from admitting our faults and seeking recovery.

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How to Overcome Pride in Reverse in Step 4?

To overcome pride in reverse in step 4, we need to practice humility and honesty. Humility is the opposite of pride. It is a true sense of self-awareness that makes us realize that we are not perfect, but we are not worthless either. We are human beings who have strengths and weaknesses, who have done good and bad things, who have potential and limitations. Humility helps us to accept ourselves as we are, without exaggeration or denial. Humility also helps us to recognize our need for a higher power, for guidance and support from others, and for personal growth and change.

Honesty is the foundation of step 4. It is the ability to tell the truth to ourselves and to others. Honesty helps us to face our reality without fear or shame. Honesty also helps us to be accountable for our actions and consequences. Honesty enables us to see ourselves clearly and objectively, without distortion or rationalization.

To practice humility and honesty in step 4, we can follow these steps:

Pray for the willingness and courage to do this step. Ask your higher power for help and guidance.

Use a written format to make your inventory. You can use a notebook, a computer, or a worksheet. You can also use a template or a guide from your sponsor or your group.

Divide your inventory into four columns: resentments, fears, harms done to others, and sexual conduct.

In each column, list the people, institutions, or principles that you have had problems with in the past or present. Be specific and include as many details as possible.

For each item on your list, write down the cause of your problem, how it affected you (emotionally, physically, mentally, spiritually), and what your part was in it (your motives, attitudes, behaviors). Be honest and objective. Don't blame others or yourself. Don't justify or minimize your actions. Don't omit anything out of fear or shame.

Review your inventory with your sponsor or someone you trust. Share your findings and feelings with them. Listen to their feedback and suggestions.

Pray for the readiness and willingness to move on to the next steps. Thank your higher power for helping you complete this step.

Conclusion

Pride in reverse (step 4 continued) is a guide to overcome pride and fear in the fourth step of the 12-step program. Pride is a false sense of self-importance or self-pity that prevents us from doing a thorough and honest inventory of ourselves. To overcome pride in reverse, we need to practice humility and honesty. Humility is a true sense of self-awareness that helps us accept ourselves as we are. Honesty is the ability to tell the truth to ourselves and others. To practice humility and honesty in step 4, we need to follow a written format to make our inventory, divide it into four columns (resentments, fears, harms done to others, sexual conduct), write down the details of each item on our list (cause, effect, part), review our inventory with our sponsor or someone we trust, and pray for the readiness and willingness to move on to the next steps. By doing this, we can achieve a better understanding of ourselves and our recovery.

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