Hi My name is Holly. I am 20 years old.

I wasn’t raised in a Christian family, but I went to a Christian school. So I knew about God, but I didn’t know Him personally. My whole life went downhill because I didn’t have a relationship God, and I had a lot of mental health problems. I had a borderline personality disorder, which affected not only me but other people around me. I was very suicidal, and had many suicide attempts. I felt very empty, so I was always searching for something to fill that emptiness.

I would try to fill the vacuum with boyfriends, drugs, parties, or going out to nightclubs. This was all trying to fill the emptiness inside.

The week before I got saved was a very bad week! I was living at someone’s house when I started to have a break down. I started screaming and yelling, and breaking their stuff. I remember going to the strain station and just walking up and down in a state of confusion. I was asking, what am I doing? Do I really want to die right now? Is this all life is about? I was very upset and very conflicted! At the same time I was very manipulative and controlling of others. I was obsessed with social media and I had thousands of followers, and I thought that would fulfill me. I had so much pride. I thought I was better than everyone else, but behind closed doors I was a mess, very confused and suicidal.  I wanted to die…I really wanted to die! I thought this was it! This will not be another poor attempt, I am really doing it this time!

At the same time, someone close to me was sending me messages, saying “You need to get right with God. You need to come to Christ.”  He invited me to a concert. I thought that would be cool, so I could just go to that. At that time I had a choice. I knew a guy who had a bottle of pills. I knew I could take the pills and end my life. But I thought I should just go to the concert and check it out. I wasn’t expecting too much. I came on my own, and  just sat up the back, looking at my mobile phone, thinking not much is going to happen.

At the end of the concert, there was a message and a challenge. I responded and went to the front for prayer, and I followed a prayer of repentance. It felt like right then my life changed! My way of thinking completely changed. The way I dressed completely changed. As soon as I got home I deleted my social media account with my thousands of followers. This had such a hold on me!  Something broke in my life. Suicidal thoughts were gone! I thought, “I don’t want to end my life, I want to go to church tomorrow!” God is real, and He really changed me!  I had blonde hair with extensions, eyelash extensions, false nails. I was always trying to hide true myself. I was so insecure but I didn’t realize it until Christ showed me! Now I just wanted to be myself!

Jesus has changed my life. I’ve now got a job. I’ve got an amazing friends. I used to have backstabbing friends, but now I’ve got real friends who really care about me. My counsellor of 4 years told me I didn’t need to go to therapy anymore. I didn’t have personality disorder anymore. God completely healed me, and my whole life has changed. I would not be here if it wasn’t for Jesus Christ!