Welcome to the Launch of Pissney+
Episode
Hello and welcome back to #DeathOnMySpaceship!
We're just going to *pretend* that it hasn't been almost 2 weeks since the last episode aired.
The last time you saw us, Christina Aguilera was disqualified from the show for leaking the set location, while Harry Styles and Normani won the kayaking challenge, bringing the total cash prize to 40K.
Down to 10 members in the remaining cast, they have currently been separated into 2 groups of 5
#TheMen: Grant Gustin, Troye Sivan, TOP, Harry Styles & Ryan
The two teams have been separated into different 2 floored rooms designed to replicated cramped space shuttles.
"Teams, all you have to do to win an additional 15K for the cash prize is.. wait 30 minutes. If both teams accomplish this, the money gets added to prize. However, there's a secret clue hidden in both shuttles. If one team can solve this clue and type it into their computer, they earn safety from tonight's quiz. However, no money will get added to the prize."
"So if you can solve the clue, the other team will be up for elimination on their own."
New York doesn't wait for instructions before shoving Normani to the floor. "I DON'T WANNA BE LOCKED IN THE SAME ROOM AS THIS UNCLASSY ASS BITCH!"
Normani hits her head on the floor, breaking her glasses. "Help, I can't see!"
Normani lets out a heavy sigh as she stands up. "Paris, I'm gonna need your help in today's challenge! We should try to solve the clue!" She goes over and squeezes Madonna's arm.
"Unhand me!" Madonna says, her brittle bones easy to fracture.
"Someone's like... totally gonna need to sit by the intercom incase the other team like... calls." Paris Hilton recommends. "In fact, someone should like call them to like try to like distract them."
"I was born for this." Rob responds, going over to the intercom. "Hola, #TeamMen, anyone there?"
"Cheerio mate!" Harry Styles replies over the intercom.
Meanwhile, on the other team, things weren't going over as well as Grant Gustin and Troye Sivan were having a marital dispute.
"Listen, babe, whatever happened in the bushes wasn't my fault. I slipped, it was an accident." Grant says.
"Whatever..." Troye responded.
"All the men here, Top, Ryan, Roberto, they could never come between us." Grant continued.
"Whatever..." Troye responded again.
"Babe, why do you not care?" Grant Gustin
"Whatever... go find a doctor or something. I don't feel like talking." Troye Sivan responded.
Out of nowhere, Ryan appeared between them. "Hello, Dr. Ryan here. Anyone need pure-serotonin?" TOP comes over, dressed like a nurse. "ANYONE NEED AN APPOITMENT?"
Grant Gustin nods. "I'm always down for a check-up." Troye Sivan rolls his eyes and stands up. "Whatever..."
Troye Sivan walks away, pulling out his phone, he calls his manager. "I'm quitting, I don't want to do this anymore."
"You can't quit tv with no music out. So... you're stuck there. Sorry!" His manager responds. "Then I'm bombing the next test. Idgaf."
"So, what're you thinking about?" Harry Styles asks Rob over the intercom, trying to pass small talk.
"Oh quite literally nothing." Rob responded. "Waiting until I can see you ne-"
New York, holding Madonna's cane, smashes it against the intercom, wrecking it. "IF I GOT TO HEAR ANOTHER HALF A SECOND OF THIS FAIRY NONSENSE I SWEAR I'M GONNA RIP YOUR HEAD OFF!"
While smashing the cane across anything she could see, New York smashes it against a shelf, opening it. Inside, there's a collection of Dagny vinyls. "UUGH! NOT THIS PALE BITCH, ANYTHING BUT HER." She begins to smash all 22 vinyls in the storage shelf.
"Wait... why are like Dagny vinyls stored here..." Paris Hilton began to think long and hard.
Normani managed to find her glasses and glue them back together before putting them on. "Same old glasses, brand new me!"
"I solved the case!" Madonna said, looking at Dagny's smashed vinyls. She shoved Normani out of the way. Normani fell and hit her head again, rebreaking her glasses as Madonna made her way over to the smashed intercomn and typed in "NO_SALES_NO_STREAMS_NO_DREAMS"
"#TEAMWOMen has won the first challenge of the day, and are all safe from elimination. However, the prize remains at $40K"
"That means #TEAMMen, you have to stop what you're doing and proceed to take your quizzes."
As the men take their quizzes, footage is shown of an ice-type alien species invading the shape.
The next thing shown is a weird alien prison.
"Crew, you have been taken hostage by a creature known as 'M4tT SH4DOWZ XD Rawr'. You have been divided into 2 groups of 4, with the other 2 cast members waiting by an evacuation shuttle for when you all escape."
The teams are as follows:
Team "Unable to Afford a Supporter Pass": Harry Styles, Normani, Grant Gustin, & Rob
Team "All of Their Supporters Have Passed": Madonna, New York, Ryan, & Troye Sivan
Paris Hilton and TOP are the two waiting by the evacuation shuttle
Furthermore, the two teams have been placed into 2 different rooms each, and all four members have to work together to get out.
Normani squints her eyes as the lights come on. "Damn, my eyes HURT!" she says.
"Hey, looks like we're locked in this room together." Harry Styles says. "They keep putting us together! Here's to winning!" He goes to high-five her.
However, Normani, unable to see due to her glasses being broken, slaps Harry across the face.
The other half of team "unable to afford" is in the room across the hall.
"Crap, we're locked in this room together. What're we going to do?" Grant Gustin asked.
"I can surely think of a few things actually." Rob responded. Harry Styles inspects the door to the room and notices a small doggy-door. He lifts the panel up to try to see what's out in the hallway.
However, upon opening it, he can hear what is occurring in the other room, and promptly looks out into the hallway like
Meanwhile, out by the escape shuttle, the rules of this challenge are being explained to Paris Hilton and TOP
"The crew has 30 minutes to work together to escape their respective escape rooms. If they do so, 30k will be added to the cash prize."
"However, we can shorten the time to 20 minutes, and double the cash earned to 60k, however if any team fails, no money gets added. Are you willing to risk it?"
"I like think we should like think about this like a lit-" Paris Hilton goes to say.
"DOUBLE THE PRIZE!" TOP says. "#THEYCANDOIT"
Alright, the crew now has 20 minutes to escape.
Meanwhile, for team "Supporters have passed"...
The room New York is in looks like a complete disaster, with everything smashed to pieces as she suffers from claustrophobia. "GOD! GET ME OUT OF HERE!" She bangs on the door, sweating.
Troye Sivan is lying on the floor in the corner of the room in a fetal position, rocking back and forth as he mumbles to himself.
Madonna looks bothered as she looks around her room. "I can't believe they'd lock me up with someone who doesn't even have A SALE! I'm such higher class than this. I can't believe they keep booking me on these chicken-shit gigs!"
Ryan looks at her. "I wouldn't complain about sales if I were you..."
New York, through brute strength, surpasses the clue needed to get out and instead just knocks the door down.
"Heya! You got out! It's slivin' to see you shashay like-" The "ice alien" goes to speak before New York punches him in the face, knocking him out cold.
"I DON'T HEAR YOU, YOU DUMBASS!" She says as she kicks down the door to Madonna and Ryan's room.
New York, Madonna & Ryan from team "Supporters have passed" is able to make their escape. However, they forgot Troye Sivan and he if left behind.
"That wasn't whatever..." The still traumatized Troye says to himself.
There are five minutes left in the time remaining and team "Unable to afford" has not made it out of their rooms left. Would you like to subtract 10K from the prize to give them a hint?
"NAURMONEY GOT THIS, SO DON'T TAKE NAURMONEY OU-" TOP goes to speak before Paris Hilton covers his mouth.
"Yes, give them like a hint please!" She says.
Normani, having spent the whole challenge putting back together and glueing her shattered glasses, finally puts them on. "Finally! I can see again!"
"Crew, your hint to get out is "You need more than sight to get out of these doors"." Doja says over the intercom.
"Normani, sweetie, I'm so sorry." Harry Styles says, taking the glasses off her face and shattering them again.
Using the part of Normani's glasses (the section that goes over the ear?), Harry Styles uses it to unlock the door. "Wow, it's a perfect fit."
"I hate it here..." Normani says as Harry grabs her hand and pulls her out of the room (she's unable to see).
Harry then goes over to the other room, using it to unlock that door. Where he finds Rob and Grant Gustin. (We have to censor due to it being against "family friendly" content.)
Harry Styles, feeling shocked and betrayed, sighs heavily. He storms out, still holding Normani's hand.
Rob and Grant Gustin rush to catch up as the 4 make their way to the escape hatch when suddenly...
"Slivin' to stay a little longer?" Another ice alien begins to chase after the group.
"You three need to make it to the escape hatch. I'll distract the alien.." Grant Gustin seemed to willingly want to stay behind.
Harry Styles, more than a bit willing to agree, in a "blink and you'd miss it" moment, "accidentally" trips Grant.
"GRANT!" Rob yells as Harry grabs his hand and pulls him and Normani into the escape hatch.
"Did anyone see what just happened?" Normani asked.
With the final team able to make it out with 26 seconds left to spare, 30K has been added to prize pot, bringing the total to 70K.
Unfortunately, Troye Sivan and Grant Gustin had lost their quizzes, and were eliminated.