Welcome to the Launch of Pissney+
Episode
Megan Thee Stallion is standing in the cafeteria, looking up at the sign that says "Cafeteria" over the door.
"Y'all ever look at a word too long and be like what the fuck...."
Demi Lovato replies to her. "Not now I'm busy x" She says, throwing the groups remaining apples into the trash as a safety hazard.
"I can't believe today's the finale, it feels like just a couple of days ago that Amelia Lily was making bomb threats..." Grant Gustin says.
"It was just a couple of days ago you stupid fruit-.... Nevermind..." Katy Perry replies.
"Hello crew, today is the finale. That means today's task will be different. We've put together an obstacle course that features bits and pieces of everything you've done so far. You four will have to complete different parts of the obstacle course at different time."
"I love fruits" Grant Gustin remarks.
"They do say you are what you eat." Katy Perry replies. They step out into the hallway to find it transformed into a maze like obstacle course, featuring sections that require clinging onto the wall, jumping, climbing, crawling, etc.
"We should split up." Grant Gustin says, referring both directions of the hallway.
"But we've never even dated in the first place." Demi Lovato cries, smacking Grant.
"I fear that makes me want to date you even more." Grant Gustin says.
Demi Lovato shrieks. Katy Perry pulls Demi Lovato into a hug, consoling her. "It's okay, don't let the fruit harass you."
"They're so bad for my diet." Demi begins to cry again.
Grant Gustin feels bad for making Demi Lovato cry and goes to attempt to apologize. "Girl you and diet don't go together x"
Katy Perry replies, "Shut your mouth homo."
"End him." Megan Thee Stallion chimes in.
"Period." Demi Lovato wipes her tears.
The ghostly voice of Harry Styles echoes quietly throughout the ship.
"Omg what's happening?"
"You can't spell diet without die." Katy Perry shrugs.
Grant Gustin and Megan Thee Stallion glance over at each for a moment.
"Yeah I think Demi Lovato should be the one to go with you." Megan says.
The group splits into two, with Megan Thee Stallion and Grant Gustin going in one direction, and Katy Perry and Demi Lovato going in the other.
Megan Thee Stallion and Grant Gustin walk along the obstacle course until they find the hallway blocked off by a wall, with a small hole they'll have to climb through.
"Oh these are my specialty!" Grant says.
Megan sighs, "Yeah I'm going to go through first, you freak ass..."
Megan Thee Stallion attempts to crawl through the hole, but finds herself stopped halfway through, her butt being too big to fit through. "Fuck my life..." She says.
Grant Gustin tries to be supportive. "Don't worry, I'll just push!"
"Certainly don't fucking do THAT!" Megan replies.
Meanwhile, on the other side of the ship. Katy Perry and Demi Lovato are making their way through the ship until they find themselves entering a room. The center of the room is blocked off by a wall of glass.
In the middle of the room is a large robotic device, getting ready to insert a cd of Xtina's "Golden Queen" into a large speaker.
Both Katy and Demi shriek in horror.
The countdown begins. "15. 14...." Katy Perry turns to Demi Lovato "We're so fucked..."
"Not if I can help it!" Demi Lovato rushes out of the room, coming back in moments later. She's carrying a rifle, the same rifle that Kacey Musgraves wielded on Celebrity Big Brother. "Kacey said she'd always watch out for me."
Demi begins to shoot towards the speaker, shattering the glass wall and destroying both the cd and the speaker.
Meanwhile on the other side of the ship. Grant Gustin, with both hands on Megan Thee Stallion, is pushing with all of his might. Finally he pushes Megan through, and crawls in through the hole.
"If you ever mention this to anyone, I'll destroy you, and I'm not talking about on this show..." Megan says.
"There's nothing I love more than getting wrecked." He replies.
Grant Gustin and Megan Thee Stallion continue walking down the hallway, the lights getting progressively darker as they walk on.
"I can't see shit in here." Megan says.
"Don't worry! I think I found the door! Now if I can just find the doorknob." Grant replies.
"Ow! That's not a doorknob!" Megan replies.
Katy Perry and Demi Lovato leave the room and end up in the cafeteria where they find Hayley Williams
"Are you guys ready to help me make a fruit salad?" Hayley says.
Katy, hearing the word "fruit", screams.
Demi, hearing the word "salad", screams.
With neither of them being willing to make a fruit salad, Demi Lovato and Katy Perry try to come up with another plan.
"I'm not sure what to do. We have to find a way to get past her." Katy says, referring to Hayley Williams
"Pasta? Ding dong!" Demi replies, going over to the pantry and grabbing a box of pasta, which she promptly hurls at Hayley, knocking her out.
Unable to find a door in the dark, Megan Thee Stallion spots a glimmer of light peeping from the ceiling. She begins to feel against the wall and notices a handlebar.
"C'mon Grant. We got to climb out of here!" She says, beginning to climb up the wall. She climb up and movies the ceiling panel, revealing more than enough space to climb up and over the wall. She lands on the other side.
"Grant, c'mon! Grant?" She yells.
Demi Lovato and Katy Perry cheer at not having to make a salad.
"Do you know how many carbs are in pasta?" Demi asks.
"47." Katy replies.
They move on to the next room where they find a barrel filled with water and apples. They also find a note. "Bob for apples, one will contain the key needed to move on."
"Demi," Katy Perry says, "You have a much bigger mouth than I do. Why don't you bob for apples while I try to find another way out of this room?"
Demi Lovato nods. "Yesss Katy, great minds think alike!!!!" She says, dunking her head into the barrel.
Megan Thee Stallion begins to panic, running through the obstacle course and trying to find anyone. She stopped by a framed photo of Machine Gun Kelly on the wall, staring at it for a moment. She then pulls the frame off the wall and smashes it.
"Nasty ass..."
Megan Thee Stallion continues to search before a blaring alarm comes onto the loud speakers. "Oxygen levels depleting. Repeat, oxygen levels are lower than Dagny's Metacritic ranking. Please go to room 214 and 106 to fix oxygen levels."
"Fuck..." Megan says, beginning to sprint to one of the rooms, hoping anyone else was alive and quick enough to make it to the other. She stands over the machine and inserts the code, and the alarm turns off.
With the threat contained, Megan Thee Stallion continues to search before coming into the room with the barrel of apples. Demi Lovato is in the room, laying on the floor, an apple in her mouth.
"oh fuck..." Megan says.
"A body has been discovered.." is said over the intercom.
Megan Thee Stallion somberly makes her way to the cafeteria.
There she is met by Katy Perry, who runs up to her in shock.
"Omg, Megan, are you alright? What happened?" She asks.
"I should be asking you that. After fixing the oxygen I found Demi." Megan says.
"Demi was still alive when I left her to go fix oxygen too. Wait.. Where's the other fruit?"
"I don't know, I lost him before Oxygen went off." Megan says.
"Can we find another word for Oxygen? it's reminding me too much of Dagny."
Grant Gustin walks into the room, a confused look on his face. "So it was Demi who died?"
"Yes and it was you that killed her!" Katy Perry says. "Once a fruit always a fruit, and you can never trust a fruit."
"Grant, what happened? Where did you go?" Megan Thee Stallion asks.
"In the dark I thought I found Troye and I tried to get intimate with him, but it turned out to just be a broom. Then the alarm went off and I went to go fix the oxygen levels." Grant replies.
"Crew, please make your way to tablets to cast your final vote."
Megan Thee Stallion looks over at both Katy Perry and Grant Gustin, unsure.
"Through all of it, we've had some good times." Grant says.
"Pretty bitches stick together." Katy smiles.
The three then go and cast their final votes.
Final Tally:
2 - Katy Perry
1 - Grant Gustin
"Sorry Katy, but it looks like the final vote has been cast for you. Please make your way to the-"
Katy Perry is stunned for a moment. She nods, and accepts her fate.
"There never was a more purrfect captain than me. Bye, for now." She laughs it off and makes her way to the ejection hold, which opens and closes for the last time.
Grant Gustin and Megan Thee Stallion wait in suspense as the ejection hold closes. Confetti goes off, raining down from the ceiling.
"Congratulations Grant and Megan, Katy Perry was the imposter. You two are the winners of the first season of Death On My Spaceship!"
Grant Gustin goes in for a hug but Megan Thee Stallion holds him off at arms length.
"And that marks the end of our voyage, thank you for watching Death On My Spaceship! Until next time!"