Cactus JERK!

I came across that picture above that I took while in Astrakhan some years ago. It’s a picture of a cactus plant that sat on a windowsill at the physiology department of the old building. I remember what I thought when I took that picture and looked at it. It made me realize a very strange metaphor about love. Happy Valentine’s and Galentine’s to all my loves and lovers out there!

Love is like a cactus plant. You spot it in a very hot desert, living under what seems to you to be harsh conditions. Hot weather, harsh winds, no water, just dry and vast land. Often times it stands alone and there’s not another one to be seen for miles. It has these thorns that seem to cover every inch of it like it really wants to be loved but won’t let anyone come close to it.

So you feel so connected to it cause it kind of represents your own subconscious feelings. You approach it and you hug it. You hug it so tight in hopes that you absorb all of its thorns so that it knows that pain is a universal language. There’s someone willing to love it even if it presents like it doesn’t want to be loved. You hold on to it no matter how sharp and painful the thorns are. Eventually, you absorb them and you think, yes! Second step!

You then proceed to give it water. You water it and hope that the water brings it back to life because that’s what water does. But it doesn’t respond the way you thought, instead, the thorns just grow back even thicker. You go on this continuous cycle of hugging it so that you absorb its thorns, and then watering it to bring it to life. You keep on doing this until it drives you crazy. 

At this point, you’re in so much pain from being pierced by its thorns but you just can’t give up on it. So you decide to take a break. You sit from across it and then you start to hate it a little cause it’s like, why did you let me go through all of that when you knew your nature? Why didn’t you warn me that this is just how you are and you won’t change no matter how hard I try to show you that I am here for you?

In the midst of your angry rant, you realize that wait a minute, maybe you should have cautioned yourself instead of waiting to be cautioned. You look at the cactus and you realize that it actually didn’t choose to be like that. Its nature was conditioned by many processes that brought forth its existence. It’s not its fault that it’s a xerophyte and that the one thing - water - that brings life to things does nothing for it. 

It mightn’t have chosen to be a xerophyte, but it’s gotten really comfortable with its nature and it’s not ready to evolve into another plant yet. It’s time has not come and will come only when nature sees fit. It’s not its fault, and you’re not a bad person for failing to revive it. You thought you were helping but got hurt instead. 

So you now wonder how you’re gonna get rid of all this resentment that you’ve gathered in all your time with the cactus. All the while you just thought it was a jerk, but really, it had no idea what it was doing. It turns out that you really did absorb a lot of pain from it. Now you need surgery in order for all those thorns to be extracted so that you heal and continue your path. You finally get up, look at it one more time, bid it farewell, and walk away. 

The morals of the story are this:

1. Sometimes people don’t realize that they are hurt until they meet someone else and suddenly can’t stop hurting them. Hurt people hurt people.

2. You can’t make someone love you by giving them more of something they already don’t appreciate. 

3. Know when to walk away before you lose yourself.

4. Compassion runs the world, we all could use some. so don't feel bad for being loving and know it's never your fault if someone hurts you.

5. Some people don’t wanna change, so just leave them alone because they’ll bring you down with them. Misery loves company. 

Take care <3