Arc 3: Chapter 26
【Di! High-risk warning! High-risk warning!! The villain’s blackening value has risen to 99%! The villain’s blackening value has risen to 99%!】
521: “......”
These years were really for nothing……
Lin Yuan glanced nervously at the blackening value on the system prompt. He raised Jiang Qian’s face and saw that the other’s eyes were red and filled with tears. The other’s expression was helpless and sad.
“Jiang Qian……”
Lin Yuan called him gently.
Jiang Qian’s eyelashes shook and he looked into his eyes hollowly. His trembling lips were slightly opened as if he wanted to say something, but it was as if he had been stripped of the ability to speak. In the end, he couldn’t say anything.
Lin Yuan waited for a while and then finally asked: “So, were the people you killed good or bad?”
Jiang Qian’s eyes closed and his thoughts were turbulent and chaotic like the undercurrents of the sea. After a moment of silence, he said lowly: “Prisoners……. Prisoners are naturally not innocent.”
Those prisoners were just like the place they were trapped in--dark, underground, and unable to see the light.
Lin Yuan smiled slightly towards Jiang Qian, and his voice was light and gentle, like the first wind of spring at the end of winter. His voice brushed Jiang Qian with long lost warmth: “Then did you kill them out of selfish desire, or did you act according to the law?”
The thousands of jumbled thoughts in Jiang Qian’s mind were gradually untangled. His amber eyes began to shine a little under the candlelight, like clear skies after a storm.
【Di! Congrats host, the villain’s blackening value has dropped to 80%.】
“I….. I……”
Jiang Qian tried to recall his memories, from the first prisoner he had ever killed to the last one who had died in his hands. He recalled why those people were punished.
“Most…… most of those people deserved it. But some of them, according to the law, should not have died, but the emperor ordered me to kill them.”
【Di! Congrats host, the villain’s blackening value has dropped to 73%.】
Lin Yuan made a sound of acknowledgement and didn’t comment. He just touched Jiang Qian’s face gently and said softly: “Jiang Qian, let’s get up first okay? The ground is cold.”
Now Jiang Qian was more docile and obedient, but he was still like a weak person with no sense of security. He hugged Lin Yuan tightly and stood up along with him.
The two of them lay on the bed and the gauze curtains fell around them, blocking the light from the candles and dimming their surroundings.
Lin Yuan stared at Jiang Qian and still felt that the other’s eyes were swirling with dark haze. He cupped Jiang Qian’s cheek with his warm palms and said softly: “Jiang Qian, let’s talk okay?”
……Talk?
Jiang Qian’s throat was as dry as withered grass and it was hard for him to make a sound. He squeezed out a few hoarse words with difficulty: “Talk…… about……what?”
Lin Yuan didn’t speak immediately. He comfortingly stroked Jiang Qian’s again and again.
After some time, he said slowly: “Jiang Qian, when the Jiang family was still alive, what motivated you to study and take the exams? What was your goal at that time?”
Now, Jiang Qian’s heart was full of hatred and revenge. His normal life was torn into bloody pieces, and his youth was destroyed by despair and helplessness as he watched his family leave him.
The time that Lin Yuan mentioned seemed so far away to Jiang Qian. The question seemed to wipe off a thick layer of dust on thoughts that Jiang Qian had covered up.
Jiang Qian shut his eyes and clenched Lin Yuan’s hand. He muttered painfully: “I….. I don’t remember, Sui Sui…… I really…… don’t remember……”
Lin Yuan knew that he remembered, in fact, he should’ve always known it clearly. It was just that he forced himself to forget.
The blood debt of all of the Jiang family members forced him to make himself forget.
Lin Yuan held his beloved in his arms and his hand stroked Jiang Qian’s back, as if with each stroke, he could heal a source of pain. He said comfortingly: “It’s fine if you forgot. Instead, I’ll tell you what my goals are.”
He said seriously: “Jiang Qian, I don’t have big ambitions. I don’t have any goals. But if I had to say one, then I would say that my dream is you.”
Lin Yuan said it again, like it was an eternal promise.
“Jiang Qian, my dream is you.”
Jiang Qian heard this sentence clearly in his heart. He felt as if Lin Yuan’s body carried an inexplicable heat that warmed up the cold little by little, and filled his heart little by little.
They didn’t say anything anymore and hugged each other quietly.
Time flowed forward slowly, and the only sound was the gradually stabilizing breath and heartbeat.
After an unknown amount of time, Jiang Qian raised his head from Lin Yuan’s arms and his hazy eyes finally focused. His slender fingers fell on Lin Yuan’s cheek as if touching a precious treasure.
“Your……”
Jiang Qian’s was extremely hoarse and sluggish, with a slight metallic smell.
“Your dream is me……”
Jiang Qian felt a little disbelief. His dark eyes seemed to only have Lin Yuan left in them. He repeated word for word: “Your dream is me……”
Lin Yuan’s eyes brightened and he said firmly: “You, Jiang Qian. My dream is you.”
Jiang Qian got his definite answer, but before he could be happy, the phantom scars and nightmares seemed to tear up like a dam again and he panicked and trembled uncontrollably.
He was still the damaged Jiang Qian, the one who fell into the depths of the abyss. In front of him was eternal damnation, and behind him was a mountain of blood and bones.
Seeing Jiang Qian’s abnormality, Lin Yuan quickly took him into his arms.
“Don’t be afraid.”
Lin Yuan said.
“Don’t be afraid……”
Lin Yuan knew that the deepest scar was not on Jiang Qian’s body, but in his heart. Jiang Qian wanted justice and the truth, but what he found was only more evil and darkness.
Jiang Qian was afraid of people’s hearts, afraid of their calculations, afraid of all the injustice in the world. He couldn’t even believe in himself anymore.
Lin Yuan grabbed the blanket and covered them, blocking them from the cold.
Jiang Qian was still tense and trembling. Lin Yuan hugged him tighter and whispered after a bit: “Jiang Qian, you can lock me up. As long as you want to, you can lock me up for as long as you like. I’m willing……”
He was willing……
Not for the task.
But for Jiang Qian.
For his hurt lover.
The word ‘willing’ resonated in Jiang Qian’s head and the last defenses in his heart were hit crazily and about to fall. He told himself that Lin Yuan was willing to be locked up by him, it was Lin Yuan who agreed.
He could have Lin Yuan always by his side.
Lin Yuan said that they would be together until old age and would not separate for the rest of their lives.
He said it…….
Jiang Qian slowly opened his eyes and they glinted like a predator who caught its prey. He broke free of Lin Yuan’s arms and trapped the other underneath him.
“Sui Sui……”
Jiang Qian rubbed Lin Yuan’s cheek and said: “The prince said so himself, there’s no regretting it. How about tomorrow? Tomorrow, I’ll lock the prince up in my Admiral’s mansion.”
He kissed the tip of Lin Yuan’s nose and continued: “I was afraid that the prince would feel unfamiliar, so I made it the same as Lin courtyard. I promise that it’s an exact replica.”
Seeing Jiang Qian like this, Lin Yuan faintly realized how much Jiang Qian had restrained himself before.
But Lin Yuan wasn’t surprised after he thought about it. Anyone who experienced what Jiang Qian did wouldn’t be able to stay sane. Death was the simplest option, but Jiang Qian chose to stay alive and came to this step.
Lin Yuan nodded obediently and said: “Okay, tomorrow. Tomorrow, you’ll lock me up in your mansion.”
Jiang Qian’s eyes lit up a little, showing his happiness: “En.”
He gently held Lin Yuan’s hand and muttered quietly: “Sui Sui……”
Lin Yuan answered: “I’m here, Jiang Qian.”
“Sui Sui……”
“En, I’m here……”
Seeing Jiang Qian’s mood calm down, Lin Yuan said softly: “Jiang Qian, you haven’t told me what your goals were. I already promised to let you lock me up, do you still not want to tell me?”
Jiang Qian was now much calmer after Lin Yuan took the initiative to walk into his cage.
After a bit, he spoke and his voice was full of emptiness: “When the Jiang family was still alive, I wanted to become someone like my father. I wanted to do good for the people, and contribute to a propserous and clean Daliang.”
His eyes seemed to be looking at a distant past: “At that time, I was really naive. I thought too optimistically. Sui Sui, I’m really too disappointing. I can’t compare to myself back then, I’m not worthy. I dared to dream at that time, but now, I don’t dare.”
“I won’t dare anymore……”