Arc 8: Chapter 21 tw: attempted su*cide
When Lin Yuan opened his eyes, Jin Ran was sitting on the edge of the bed.
The evening sun cast streaks of molten gold and crimson onto the sky, which turned into a wine-like red inside the bedroom. But on Jin Ran, the dark red light became like accumulating bloodstains, silently enveloping the man. His empty, cold eyes stared at the wall, as if he was a criminal waiting for execution.
Lin Yuan’s voice was so hoarse he could barely speak: “Jin… Ran, let’s… talk…”
Jin Ran turned back and kissed Lin Yuan’s swollen lips, as if nothing was wrong: “What does Sui Sui want to talk about?”
The throbbing pain from Lin Yuan’s lips made his grievances overflow. His weak fists hit Jin Ran’s arm: “Jin Ran, why? You keep giving me sleeping pills, making me sleep all day. When I’m awake, I feel so dizzy. If this continues, I might not wake up one day!”
The last part triggered Jin Ran’s reverse scale. His eyes hardened and he grabbed Lin Yuan’s wrists, nailing him on the bed, and enveloping Lin Yuan underneath him.
Lin Yuan struggled even harder, crying so pitifully that his tears blurred his entire vision: “I’m serious, Jin Ran! Please don’t do it anymore, I beg you! I really don’t want to keep on like this!!”
Jin Ran didn’t use his lips to speak, but instead shut off Lin Yuan’s voice.
Lin Yuan felt compared to the physical pain of his body, his mental anguish was unimaginable. He finally faced the truth that during this period of time, Jin Ran was always broken. Since the car accident last year, the two of them were torn apart.
Jin Ran silently hugged Lin Yuan, whose tears were still sliding down without signs of stopping. He picked up a cigarette and light from the nightstand. Wisps of gray smoke snaked through the air, making things hazy.
Although Lin Yuan didn’t know, Jin Ran actually accepted to stop the drugs. Whenever he watched Lin Yuan sleeping through the surveillance camera, he sometimes had the feeling that the figure on the bed was Lin Yuan’s corpse.
But how else would he make Lin Yuan stay without sleeping pills?
Jin Ran decided quickly. He would lock up his bunny.
When Lin Yuan woke up the next day, he saw 521 lying down and looking like it had resigned to its fate.
“What’s wrong with you?” Lin Yuan asked, puzzled.
521 rolled around twice and sighed deeply: “Senior, I’m mimicking your future self.”
Before Lin Yuan could react, the door opened, and Jin Ran walked in and picked him up like a child.
Jin Ran’s thin lips lightly kissed Lin Yuan’s earlobe, and his breath was warm: “Didn’t Sui Sui not want to take the sleeping pills anymore? I agree, I won’t make you drink it.”
Lin Yuan couldn’t believe the problem was solved so easily, and his eyes were filled with disbelief: “Really?”
Jin Ran smiled softly. He ruffled Lin Yuan’s hair and said: “Really. Let’s go eat.”
The meal was already set on the dining table, just light porridge and a few side dishes. Lin Yuan was starving from all of the recent exercise, so he ate an extra bowl.
After eating, Jin Ran carried Lin Yuan to take a bath. He carefully checked a certain area and said with a little expectation: “It looks okay, the swelling is gone.”
Hearing this, Lin Yuan knew he couldn’t escape tonight.
Stepping out wearing a white, long sleeved pajama top with rabbit patterns, Lin Yuan felt a cold gush of air from the air conditioning in the bedroom and subconsciously hugged Jin Ran tightly. Even when he was put on the bed, Lin Yuan didn’t want to leave the warmth of the man’s body heat and rubbed against the other softly.
Jin Ran’s heart quickened at Lin Yuan’s clingy gesture. He couldn’t wait to spoil such a good rabbit.
⋅ ˚ ₊ ‧ ୨୧ ‧ ₊ ˚ ⋅
When Lin Yuan woke up, he instantly realized something was wrong. The entire bed had been changed, and when he moved, he heard a clang like the sound of metal.
Jin Ran was stroking a thin chain in his hand, where one end was tied to Lin Yuan’s ankle: “Since Sui Sui doesn’t like the milk, I have to lock you up. Don’t worry, the two chains around your ankles are long enough for you to move around the room…”
Lin Yuan finally understood that 521 was miming how he would be chained to the bed.
“Jin Ran…” Lin Yuan looked at the man, his amber eyes clear and pure: “I definitely won’t leave. Jin Ran, believe me. Didn’t you say you trusted me…”
Jin Ran stroked Lin Yuan’s ankle with tenderness: “I trust you, but I don’t trust myself. Sui Sui, be good. Don’t be afraid…”
Lin Yuan was a little speechless. After everything, Lin Yuan felt that chains were nothing to be afraid of. If anything, he was only uncomfortable because of Jin Ran’s insecure and sickly appearance. He worried that if nothing improved, Jin Ran would one day collapse suddenly.
Lin Yuan was about to say he was willing to be locked up, when he suddenly paused. If he was indulgent towards Jin Ran just because he felt sorry for him, he would only push Jin Ran deeper into the quagmire. So Lin Yuan changed his attitude. He lowered his eyes and said coldly: “Jin Ran, did you lock ‘Lin Yuan’ up like this before? Or do you think only if ‘Lin Yuan’ was locked up, he wouldn’t leave you?”
Jin Ran’s expression turned grim.
Lin Yuan shook his foot, making the metal ring as the chains hit each other. He looked at Jin Ran with a mocking smile: “Jin Ran, I find it strange. Why are you locking up me who can’t remember anything? Why do you think I would leave you? Jin Ran, tell me why. Why would ‘Lin Yuan’ leave you?”
The man’s face was pale and gloomy. His calloused fingers seemingly gently caressed the young man’s ankle, but his veins were already popping.
Lin Yuan stepped on Jin Ran’s chest: “Speak. Why aren’t you saying anything?”
Jin Ran’s dark eyes glinted with crimson light, revealing a fierce and crazed beast. He grabbed the ankle and pulled hard, dragging the thorny youth below him.
Their lips crashed together, fighting for dominance. Time seemed to pass very very slowly. The chain rattled incessantly, eventually becoming heavy constraints that made Lin Yuan too weak to lift his limbs, and he was gradually deprived of oxygen. He could only let Jin Ran have his way with him.
In the days that followed, Lin Yuan wasn’t much better off than before. The weight of the chains made him feel like he was about to break. But every time, Lin Yuan never felt that Jin Ran was using him as a tool to vent. On the contrary, Lin Yuan felt like Jin Ran was asking him for help. He was begging him to not leave, begging him to stay…
Over these few days, Lin Yuan finally came up with a plan that could hardly be called a solution.
He got off the bed and walked into the bathroom, the chains dragging behind him. He picked up a chain and smashed the mirror with it, creating a loud crashing sound.
Looking at the mess of broken glass on the floor and sink, Lin Yuan randomly picked up a sharp piece. Sitting back on the bed, he looked straight at one of the cameras and said: “Jin Ran, I won’t leave you. Can you hold me and take me out?”
Lin Yuan didn’t care whether Jin Ran was watching him right now, because he would see eventually.
Although he was bleeding, he didn’t actually want to die. Lin Yuan just wanted Jin Ran to get stimulated.
Blood soaked the sheets and Lin Yuan lay down.
Next, he waited for Jin Ran to see.
He was waiting for Jin Ran to believe him.