There are messages that build people, and there are messages that break people.
And somewhere along the way… many Christians forgot the difference.
Everywhere you turn, you hear preaching that sounds nothing like the voice of Jesus. Sermons soaked in accusation. Pulpits echoing with declarations of unworthiness. Entire congregations being told they are terrible, disappointing, ungrateful, barely tolerated by God. And for some reason, Christians everywhere have grown numb to this. Accepting it. Enduring it. Even defending it.
But if Jesus Himself sat down with you—really sat down with you—everything about that message would unravel instantly.
And that is what this article explores.
This is the conversation so many hearts long for.
The one religious culture often refuses to have.
The one Jesus has been waiting to speak over His people again.
This is a message of truth—
but truth spoken in the tone of the One who loves you.
People today walk through life carrying burdens they never speak out loud. Quiet struggles. Old failures. Childhood wounds. Hidden regrets. Fears buried so deeply that even they struggle to find the words for them.
And then, when they seek God—hoping for comfort, hope, restoration—they are told:
“You’re unworthy.”
“You’re barely acceptable.”
“You’re disappointing to God.”
“You’re a sinner, and that’s all you’ll ever be.”
“You suck.”
Words become weapons.
Grace becomes a threat.
Church becomes a courtroom.
And what breaks the heart most deeply is this:
People start to believe it.
They begin to think that God’s face toward them is a frown… that His posture toward them is rejection… that His patience is thin and His tolerance is minimal.
But none of this resembles Jesus.
Not His voice.
Not His heart.
Not His life.
Not His mission.
Somewhere, the Gospel got distorted.
Somewhere, truth was severed from tone.
And Jesus has something to say about that.
If you read the Gospels without inherited filters or theological baggage, one thing becomes impossible to deny:
Jesus never started with guilt—He started with value.
Before correction, He offered compassion.
Before repentance, He offered relationship.
Before transformation, He offered identity.
Look at the lives He touched:
The woman caught in adultery—
expected humiliation, received restoration.
Zacchaeus—
expected condemnation, received affirmation.
The bleeding woman—
expected rejection, received belonging.
Peter—
expected disqualification, received calling.
Jesus didn’t look at people and say,
“You’re terrible. Try harder.”
He looked at them and said,
“You are worth My love. Follow Me.”
His starting point was not their sin.
His starting point was their worth.
And that alone dismantles half the sermons preached today.
Many Christians confuse humiliation with holiness.
They confuse shame with repentance.
They confuse tearing people down with building faith up.
But God has never healed a heart through humiliation.
Humility is beautiful.
Humility is needed.
Humility is biblical.
But humiliation is the opposite of humility.
Humility says,
“I need God.”
Humiliation says,
“God wishes He didn’t have to deal with me.”
And the moment you believe God barely tolerates you, the relationship stops being love and starts becoming fear.
People do not run toward a God they think is angry at them.
People do not rest in a love they think accepts them reluctantly.
And people cannot grow spiritually in an atmosphere of emotional starvation.
Jesus never humiliated the broken.
He never shamed the wounded.
He never scolded the seeking.
His message restored dignity before it addressed destiny.
That is the real Gospel.
Everything else is noise.
Jesus understands something modern preachers often forget:
Shame does not transform.
Shame does not heal.
Shame does not sanctify.
Shame hides people.
Shame silences people.
Shame pushes people away from the very God they need.
Think of Adam and Eve after the fall—the first thing shame produced was hiding. Not repentance. Not growth. Just hiding.
Jesus came to break hiding, not create more of it.
And yet, much of Christian culture today is built on convincing people they should hide—hide their flaws, hide their doubts, hide their struggles, hide their humanity.
But Jesus steps into shame and says,
“Come out. I’m here. I’m with you. I love you.”
He never demanded people become worthy before they approached Him.
He created worthiness by approaching them.
Picture yourself sitting at a table across from Jesus. You’re finally able to ask Him:
“Lord… what do You think about all these messages telling people they aren’t worthy of You?”
He looks at you—not through you, not past you, but at you—with eyes that understand everything you’ve ever been through.
And He says something like:
“My child… if you were worthless,
I wouldn’t have come.
I wouldn’t have died.
I wouldn’t have risen.
I wouldn’t be preparing a place for you right now.”
He continues:
“You are not defined by your mistakes.
You are not shaped by your shame.
You are not labeled by your failures.
You are Mine.”
And then He would say the sentence that dismantles every toxic sermon preached in His name:
“I did not come to declare your unworthiness.
I came to reveal your worth.”
The cross was not a statement about your sin.
It was a statement about your value.
Jesus did not die because you are trash.
He died because you are treasure.
That is the Gospel.
Let’s revisit the most powerful moments where Jesus interacted with hurting people. Look closely at His pattern. It reveals everything.
She is dragged into the temple by religious men who want to weaponize her shame.
But Jesus kneels lower than her.
He positions Himself between her and her accusers.
He silences condemnation before He says a single word about behavior.
And when He finally speaks to her, His words heal her identity before addressing her lifestyle.
That is Jesus.
Zacchaeus had a reputation as a thief and a traitor.
People wanted Jesus to treat him like filth.
Instead, Jesus calls him by name, restores his dignity, and honors him with His presence.
The transformation happens after the love—not before it.
That is Jesus.
For twelve years, she had been called unclean, unworthy, untouchable.
But Jesus doesn’t correct her or question her.
He calls her “Daughter.”
In one sentence, He rewrites her entire identity.
That is Jesus.
Peter denies Jesus three times.
Jesus restores him three times.
He does not shame him.
He does not reject him.
He does not remind him of his failures.
He simply restores the relationship.
That is Jesus.
Some Christians preach the Gospel as if God is barely holding back His anger.
But Jesus preached the Gospel as if God is pouring out His love.
Some Christians preach as if you are an inconvenience to heaven.
But Jesus preached as if heaven rejoices over you.
Some Christians preach as if grace is fragile.
But Jesus preached as if grace is abundant.
Some Christians preach as if belonging must be earned.
But Jesus preached belonging first—
and transformation grew out of that belonging.
The difference is not theological.
It is relational.
Jesus is not trying to beat you into holiness.
He is trying to love you into wholeness.
It’s not always malice.
Often, it’s misunderstanding.
Some Christians repeat those messages because:
They were raised in fear.
They were discipled by shame.
They sincerely think harshness is spiritual strength.
They believe guilt produces obedience.
They confuse the voice of God with the voice of human authority.
They never learned the difference between conviction and condemnation.
Conviction is specific.
Condemnation is general.
Conviction gives direction.
Condemnation gives despair.
Conviction says,
“Let Me lift you out.”
Condemnation says,
“You deserve to stay down.”
Jesus convicts.
The enemy condemns.
And some believers accidentally preach the enemy’s tone while quoting God’s words.
They intend to defend the Gospel—
but in reality, they distort it.
And the world suffers because of it.
Jesus came to repair what religion ruins.
He came to restore what shame steals.
He came to reveal who you are in the eyes of God—not in the eyes of your critics.
His message, repeated over and over throughout the Gospels, sounds like this:
“You matter.”
“You belong.”
“You are loved.”
“You are chosen.”
“You are wanted.”
“You are worth My sacrifice.”
He did not die for you reluctantly.
He died for you intentionally.
He did not save you out of obligation.
He saved you out of love.
He did not rescue you because you were worthless.
He rescued you because you were priceless.
Jesus never once said,
“You suck.”
He said,
“Follow Me.”
Jesus never once said,
“You’re not worthy.”
He said,
“You are worth My life.”
Jesus never once said,
“You are unlovable.”
He said,
“I am love.”
Everything He spoke was meant to lift your head, not lower it.
If you’ve ever walked out of a church service feeling smaller than when you walked in…
If you’ve ever been told God is tired of you…
If you’ve ever been shamed into silence…
If you’ve ever felt like you are a disappointment to heaven…
If you’ve ever believed the lie that you are unworthy of God’s love…
Jesus has a blessing for you:
“My beloved child…
I do not speak to you like that.
I do not see you like that.
I do not treat you like that.
You are Mine.
And I delight in you.”
The real Jesus is not pushing you away.
He is pulling you close.
His posture toward you is not frustration.
It is affection.
His heart toward you is not disappointment.
It is devotion.
His voice toward you is not rejection.
It is redemption.
So walk boldly.
Stand tall.
Lift your head.
Remember whose child you are.
And let no sermon, no preacher, no voice of condemnation ever outrank the voice of your Savior.
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—Douglas Vandergraph
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