Skits & Run-ons

Alien comes in - traditional "take me to your leader" routine etc. When taken to leader the alien says, "Stop singing, Ging Gang Goolie -- it's our national anthem..."

Thanks to Karin O'Neil:

ALL OVER ME

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.

"They're all over me, they're all over me!"

"What's all over you?"

"My clothes!"

ASTRONAUTS

Scout 1: Hey, what kind of music do astronauts play?

Scout 2: Nep-tunes!

BATMAN & ROBIN

Why didn't Batman go fishing?

Robin ate all the worms!

BEAM ME UP

Scout: Walks on stage, looks around slowly and says, "Enterprise, this is Scotty! The aliens are very unfriendly!! Quick!! Beam me aboard!!"

Scout comes running in with a 2x4.

BEE STING

1st scout: "OOOOOUCH , OOOOOH , OOOUCH."

2nd scout: "What's the matter with you?"

1st scout: "A bee's stung my thumb."

2nd scout: "Try putting some cream on it then."

1st scout: "But the bee will be miles away by this time."

BLIND DATE

Presenter stands with contestant one side of a large screen and the the three Blind Dates are seated the other side of the screen

Presenter: Welcome back to Blind Date now it's time for the final question. Contestant Number 1: I am like a shark, I am quick and intelligent, what are you most like?

Number 1: I am not an animal, I am a Pansy, gentle and sweet

Contestant: And the same question to Number 2

Number 2: Well I am an Alien so we both are intelligent

Contestant: And the same question to Number 3

Number 3: Well I work for DHL so I don't know what I am

Presenter: That was the last question, So who do you select?

BUS

(Sit four or five cubs in a line like a bus with a driver a the front)

Cub at the Back: I Need a Wee, Stop the bus (each cub passes it forward) Driver: I'll stop as soon as I can (pass back)

Cub: I really need a wee

Driver: Okay I am stopping now

(Bus stops, cub rushes forward and jumps of the bus and turn's around shouting weeeeeeee.)

CAN'T WORK IN THE DARK

All scouts are center stage digging with shovels, raking, whatever manual labor they want.

One scout just stands there with his arm raised straight as if he were holding a torch in his hand.

(Boss walks onstage to survey the work being done. He sees the one guy not working and walks up to him.)

Boss: I'm paying you to work, not to just stand around. Why aren't you working?

Scout #1: I'm a lightbulb!

Boss: Get to work! When I come back, if you aren't working, you're fired!

(boss leaves and everyone continues to do the same things. Then, boss returns and sees scout still not working.)

Boss: That's it! You're fired! Get out!

(scout drops his arm and dejectedly exits stage. As soon as he drops his arm, the rest look around, stop working, and start to leave.)

Boss: Hey, why are you guys leaving? Get back to work!

Scout #2: How? We can't work in the dark!

CAR DOOR

A boy walks across stage carrying a car door. He is asked why he is carrying the car door. The boy answers so that he can roll down the window when it gets hot.

CINDERELLA

Scout 1: Why was Cinderella such a poor basketball player?

Scout 2: Because she had a pumpkin for a coach.

COAT

Who wears a coat all winter and pants in the summer?

A doe.

COURT

The scene is a courtroom scene with one person as the judge. A person walks through the court carrying a sign or a skunk stuffed animal. The judge watching says: "Odor in the court! Odor in the court!"

DOCTOR SHOTS

Scout 1: Why do astronauts see the doctor right before they blast off?

Scout 2: To get their booster shots!

DRAG

Have two boys drag a third boy across the stage. The third boy says:

"What a drag!"

FIRE DRILL

Through the meeting or campfire, different people run through with some container (cups, buckets, cans, etc). Eventually the MC stops one of them and asks what's going on to which the reply is "your tent (car, house whatever) is on fire". Now when we do it we add a great deal to it depending on the location setting etc. The water carriers ham it up by making it look like a real effort or something very serious. The MC makes some comment to the audience each time one runs through including things like requesting a cup of coffee the next time someone runs through. Sometimes we have people "offstage" cheering the runner through. And sometimes we change the "punch line".

Like MC: where's the fire?, runner: there's no fire, so & so is thirsty, at which time someone walks across with a cup and wiping their mouth saying ahhhhhhh. I think you can get the idea from there.

FISHING

A boy is sitting on the lake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.

Game warden: Yep!

Fisherman: Just teaching him how to swim (pointing to the worm on the pole)

FISHING

1st Scout: I went fishing last week.

2nd Scout: What did you catch?

1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.

2nd Scout: It did? Which one?

FOAM

What would you get if you dropped soapsuds on the stove?

Foam on the range!

FORTUNE TELLER

Fortune Teller: "That will be $20 for two questions."

Client: "Isn't that a lot of money for two questions?"

Fortune Teller: "Yes, it is. Now what is your second question?"

GOING TO COURT - V1

This one is a run on that requires the above-mentioned partner whose been around for years and will be for years more, and good timing. One of the nice things about this one is that you can use as little as two appearances or if necessary, you can expand upon it to other situations involving the wordplay about "case" and court. Another line would be at the beginning where the litigant goes to someone for advice, but they say that they don't have a case, prompting them to go buy a briefcase.

Cast: Campfire Chief, litigant, briefcase

Setting: Campfire

Each time the litigant comes in, the campfire chief is about to announce or close a skit. Requires perfect timing or a chief who is able to blend in the litigant's entries perfectly, or both.

Chief: Hello? I'm trying to introduce the next item? What are you doing here? Litigant: (coming in with briefcase) Uh, excuse me, but I need to tell you something. My inspection results today were terrible, so I'm going to (lift up briefcase) bring my case to court.

Next appearance, the litigant is crawling on the ground with a flashlight, without the briefcase:

Chief: Oh, it's you again. What are you doing down on the ground?

Litigant: I lost my case! I'm looking for it!

Next appearance, the litigant is up on a table, a high chair, a tall tree stump, in a tree, whatever, carrying his briefcase. He makes noise to get attention, and the chief shines a light on him.

Chief: What are you doing now?

Litigator: I'm bringing my case to a higher court!

Last appearance is a little dangerous. Be careful to have plenty of open space where people won't get hurt, and that the chief is ready for this.

Suddenly the briefcase is flying through the air and the Chief catches it -- if only to protect the audience :) -- and exclaims:

Chief: (Flustered) What's this all about?

Litigator: My case got thrown out of court!

GOING TO COURT - V2

From: Tom Oldershaw

Scene: A person standing on a stage reciting a long story (or some other activity). A second person will enter at various stages and interrupt him, after which the story teller starts again.

The second person will need the following props: A briefcase, and a step ladder.

1. Person 2 walks on with a briefcase. First person asks him what he's doing. Reply: "I'm taking by case to court". Walks off.

2. Enters again with a step ladder. Same as before, this time replying: "I'm taking my case to a higher court"

3. This time, person two places the hands of the story teller in front of him, and puts his case on them. "I rest my case" (This one works best when the story teller doesn't know about it). 4. This time, without a case: "I lost my case" [We also "lost the case" by searching all around the stage, cabinets under the stage, near the MC ('scuse me, 'pardon me), under his papers, etc. Then tell him you "lost your case."]

5. Entry with a banana and case: "What are you doing with that banana?" "I am appealing my case!"

6. Next time: Open and close the case as you walk across the stage. When MC asks what you are doing, tell him/her "...it's an open and shut case!"

7. Person enters, case open and inverted. MC asks, "Now what are you doing?" Person replies, "My case got overturned."

HERD

Scout 1: Hey, look at that bunch of cows.

Scout 2: Not a bunch, herd.

Scout 1: Heard what?

Scout 2: Herd of cows.

Scout 1: Sure, I've heard of cows.

Scout 2: No, I mean a cow herd.

Scout 1: What do I care what a cow heard!

HOUSE JUMP

First Scout: I bet I can jump higher then a house.

Second Scout: I bet you can't.

First Scout: Yes I can. Did you ever see a house jump.

HOW

Leader: I can make everyone in the audience into an old fashioned Indian.

Audience: How?

Leader: (Leader raises right hand and then says, "How!")

HUMPTY DUMPTY

Why did Humpty Dumpty have a great fall?

To make up for a terrible summer

I'M A RABBIT

Cub 1: Ask me if I'm a rabbit.

Cub 2: Okay Are you a rabbit?

Cub 1: Yes. Now ask me if I'm a beaver.

Cub 2: Are you a beaver?

Cub 1: No, stupid. I already told you I was a rabbit!

INDIAN BRAVE

Big Chief: Bring in 10 scalps, kill 5 buffalo bare handed and go into desert without water for a moon. Then I will pronounce you Big Brave. You understand? Indian Brave: Yes. What do I do to get pronounced Little Brave.

ITS ALL AROUND ME!

You need two characters, one on stage and the other to rush on in a panic, swatting the air, looking desperate and yelling, "It's all around me, it's all around me!"

"What? What's all around you?" the first player asks. The other replies, "My belt, of course!"

JUST MOVED

1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?"

2nd person: "I don't know. I'm new to these parts too."

LEARNING

In what school do you learn to greet people?

Hi school.

LEAVING

Player walks across the area scattering handfuls of leaves he takes from a big bag. Another player approaches and asks, "What are you doing?"

1st Player: I'm leaving!

Thanks to Brenda Beckett, Owen Sound, Ont.

LIBRARIAN

Librarian: "Please be quiet, young man. The people near you can't even read."

Scout: "Then what are doing in a library?"

LIGHTS

What kind of lights did Noah use on the ark?

I know, flood lights

LITTLE BROTHER

Scout 1: Whatcha doing ?

Scout 2: Writing a letter to my little brother.

Scout 1: Why are you writing so slowly?

Scout 1: Because my little brother can't read very fast!

MISSED

Scene 1: Guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits. Scene 2: Same guy juggling balls. Drops one. Snaps fingers and says, "Missed!" Exits. Scene 3: Same guy says. "If I don't get it this time, I'll shoot myself!" Juggles balls. Drops one. Exits (Sound of gunshot)

Same guy re-appears, snaps fingers and says, "Missed!"

NAPOLEON`S LAST FAREWELL

SETUP: The narrator walks to the center of the stage and says that he would now like to present for his audience, that historical event, Napoleon`s last farewell to his troops, after his defeat at the battle of waterloo. He builds up the atmosphere, by asking his audience to imagine these thousands of soldiers, weary from days of fighting etc. When this has been built up enough, 'Napoleon' enters, sticks his right hand under the left breast of his jacket, walks forward and says...

Napoleon: "FAREWELL TROOPS".

NEW

1st person: "Excuse me, but is that the sun or the moon?"

2nd person: "I don't know. I'm new to these parts too."

NEWS FLASH

A small two-seater Cessna 152 plane crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Slobovia. Slobovian search and rescue workers have recovered 300 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

NEWS FLASH

(Boy runs on interrupting leader): "We interrupt this program for an important news flash." Turns flashlight on and off, shining it in the audience's eyes. (Most effective at a campfire)

NEWS FLASH

(Boy runs on interrupting leader): "We interrupt this program for an important news flash." Turns flashlight on and off, shining it in the audience's eyes. Most effective at a campfire.

NUTS

Scout 1:(running on stage) "They're after me!"

Scout 2: "Who's after you."

Scout 3: "The squirrels! They think I'm nuts!"

NUTTIN'

A group of boys are discussing a football game.

1st boy: I sure hope that the ________ wins.

2nd boy: Well I'm sure that _________ will win.

3rd boy: Why ______ will beat them 40 to nuthin'.

4th boy: I can tell you the score of the game before it starts.

The Others: Oh Yeah? You're not that smart.

4th boy: Nuttin' to Nuttin' of course (The others chase him off.)

ONCE UPON A TIME

The three boys are in a line facing the audience.

Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"

First Boy: Hey, wait a minute, I'm the beginning.

Middle Boy: I'm the middle.

Last Boy: That's nothing I'm the end.

PAINTING

Visitor: What does this painting represent?

Scout: This is a cow grazing on a mountainside.

Visitor: Where is the grass?

Scout: The cow ate it.

Visitor: So where is the cow?

Scout: You don’t suppose she’d be dumb enough to stay after

she ate all the grass, do you?

PAINTING NATURE

If you were to paint the sun and wind, what color would you make them? The sun rose and the wind blue, of course!

PAUL SMITH

Man enters wearing a shirt; Compare asks, "Were did you get the shirt from?" The man answers "Paul Smith" and walks off. More Scouts enter one at a time each with a different piece of clothing. They all are asked the same question which is followed by the same answer. Finally a Scout walks on in just a towel and the compare ask who he is …he answers "Paul Smith".

POP QUIZ

Teacher: What has five fingers and can be made of leather?

Johnny : Eh... I don't know.

Teacher: One glove! Now, what has 10 fingers and can he made of leather? Johnny : Eh.... I don't know.

Teacher: Two gloves! Now, who is the Governor of Michigan?

Johnny : Eh.... Three gloves?

PULLING STRING

Two scouts needed, or one scout and the MC.

One: (walks onto stage area pulling a string big enough to see)

Two:(asks) What are you doing

One: I'm pulling a string

Two: what are you doing that for?

One: Well, have you ever tried to push one?!

QUICK DRAW

1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the West."

2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."

1st boy: "Toeless Joe."

RAIN:

Boy 1: When will the rain stop falling?

Boy 2: I don’t know, when?

Boy 1: When it hits the ground!

ROCK MUSIC

Boy 1: Hey, Joe, why are you carrying that rock so close to your ear?

Boy 2: Because I’m listening to rock music!

Boy 1: Hey, Sam, why are you banging those rocks together?

Boy 3: Because I’m playing rock music!

ROPE

Why are you pulling that rope for?

Did you ever try to push one.

SCAT

(two scouts on a hike, whistling through the woods)

Scout #1: Hey, watch out! That might be bear scat

Scout #2: Woah! You sure?

Scout #1: Smell it to see if it smells like bear scat

Scout #2: (smells it) Yep, smells like bear scat

Scout #1: Touch it to see if it feels like bear scat

Scout #2: (touches it) Yep, feels like bear scat

Scout #1: Taste it to see if it tastes like bear scat

Scout #2: (tastes it) Yep, tastes like bear scat

Both: It's SCAT!

Scout #1: Whew! Good thing we didn't step in it.

Scout #2: What is Scat anyways?

Scout #1: Poop silly!

Scout #2: (shocked, then shrugs)

(they continue their hike around the scat and offstage)

SCHOOL BUS

Boys come on in a line, carrying sign that reads “School Bus”.

Boy in front pretends to drive.

Driver: Hey, kid! Look out the window and tell me if my turn signal is working.

Boy in back: Yes…No….Yes…..No…..Yes…..No…..

SMOKE SIGNALS

1st scout, "Hey George, look over there, smoke signals."

2nd scout ,"Oh yes Mike, what do they say?"

1st scout, pretending to look away through binoculars, says very slowly, "Help... My... Blankets... On... Fire.

1st scout looking back at 2nd scout, "Help my blankets on fire?"

SNAKE BITE

1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."

2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."

1st boy: "You don't call that an accident."

2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."

SNAKES

What happened after the two snakes got into a fight?

“They hissed and made up !”

SPOT

Radio Announcer: We interrupt this program for a spot announcement.

Dog (offstage): Arf! Arf! Arf!

Announcer: Thank you, Spot.

SPOTS

Boy 1: I’ve been seeing spots before my eyes.

Boy 2: Have you seen a doctor?

Boy 1: No, just spots.

STRAINED:

Scout 1: "Did you hear how my mother strained herself."

Scout 2: "No, how did she manage to do it?"

Scout 3: "She ran through a screen door."

STICKING AROUND

Scout enters, poking the ground with a stick.

Cubmaster: What are you doing?

Scout: This pack meeting is pretty interesting, so I’m sticking around.

SUBMARINE

(Line up four or five scouts One at the end makes actions like he is looking out of a periscope)

One: Spotted targets (passes down the line one)

Last: Okay (passes back up the line)

One: Load torpedo one (as above)

Last: Torpedo one loaded (as above)

One: Fire

Last: Fired

One: Missed. Load torpedo two

Last: Torpedo two loaded

One: Fire

Last: Fired

One: Missed. Load torpedo three

Last: Torpedo three loaded.

One: Fire

Last: Fired

One: Hit

Altogether: We sunk a rowing boat, we sunk a rowing boat.

SUICIDE

A News reporter enters the stage and complains that there is no news. He sees a cliff and decides to jump off. He stands on the edge of the cliff ready to jump; he begins to swing his arms and to count to three…. 1…2…as he gets to two a Second person runs on shouting STOP! What are you doing? The new reporter explains. The Second mans decides that he'll Jump too, as he is the sheriff of this small town and there is no crime and his cell is empty. As they both prepare to jump a third man runs on…1st and 2nd men explain what they are doing…. He decides that he will also jump because he is a Doctor with no patients. Then a Dairy farmer runs on as he has an udder disaster because his herd has no milk. Finally they all jump except for the reporter…he shouts excitedly " wow! Now I really have a story to write about! Four People jump from a cliff in mass suicide!"

SURE-SHOT

Two boys playing quick draw:

1st boy: "My Scoutmaster (Cubmaster etc.) can shoot a gun faster than any man in the West." 2nd boy: "Really?" What do they call your Scoutmaster."

1st boy: "Toeless Joe."

SWIM INSTRUCTOR

A boy is sitting on the bake with a fishing pole in hand. There is a NO FISHING sign nearby. The game warden appears.

Fisherman: Are you the game warden.

Game warden: Yep!

Fisherman: Just teaching him how to swim(pointing to the worm on the pole)

THE ANNOUNCEMENT

A five second gag to put into a loose moment.

Cast: Campfire chief and a volunteer in the audience

Campfire Chief: And now it's time to make a spot announcement. (Dog barks from the audience.) Thank you Spot.

THE DEAD BODY

CAST: 2 (may use another for the police dispatcher to expand on the skit) PROPS: none

SETUP: One person lying on the ground, dead. Another sees him and runs for the telephone and, panicking, gasps,

Scout: "Police, there's a dead person here... Where?.... Uh..."

(looking for a sign)

"I'm at Montgomery and Westchester... Spell it?... Uh, M-o-t-n... Uh, M-o-t-g..." (confused)

"Just a minute, I'll drag him over to King and Elm!"

THE GEOLOGIST

Scout 1: What did the piece of limestone say to the geologist?

Scout 2: You just keep taking me for granite!

Scout 3: But what does a geologist do?

Scout 1: Oh, he’s just a fault-finder.

THE INFANTRY IS COMING!

3-4 People, Person carrying a sapling

#1: (Runs in) The Infantry is coming! Go to the bomb shelters!

#2: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Save yourselves! #3: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's help them!

#4: (A moment later, runs in) The Infantry is coming! Let's watch the tanks! (A moment later)

Person: And here it is, the Infant Tree.

THE LOST QUARTER

SETUP: One person acts as a lamp post, shining a flashlight on the ground. Another, SCOUT 1, is groping around in the pool of light. A third person enters.

Scout 2: "What are you looking for?"

Scout 1: "A quarter that I lost".

[He joins Scout 1, and helps him search. A Scout 3 and Scout 4 enter and repeat the above scene. Finally one of them asks,]

Scout 2: "Where did you loose the quarter?"

Scout 1: (Pointing away)

"Over there:.

Scout 2: "Then why are you looking here?"

Scout 1: "Because the light is better over here!"

THE NUTTY FISHERMAN

Center stage is a lad fishing from a billy can or bucket, he keeps pulling the rod as though he has something on the line. A passer by looks at him as he walks by and then walks on, after a few steps the passer by comes back to the lad.

Passer by: "What are you doing there then?"

Fisher: "I'm fishing, what does it look as though I'm doing?"

Passer by: "Fishing eh!, what are you fishing for."

Fisher: "I'm fishing for suckers."

Passer by: "Have you caught any?"

Fisher: "Yes you're the third today"

THE PEAK

Boy 1: Why are mountain climbers so curious?

Boy 2: Because they always want to take another peak!

THE RULER

Mike: Why do you keep the ruler on the newspaper when you're reading? Spike: I want to get the story straight!

THROWING UP

And one more from me...

Walk across the front of the room tossing a ball several inches to a foot up in the air. Set up a plant in the audience or Cubmaster asks "What are you doing?"

Replies, " I'm throwing up!"

TREE

The first person calls from out of sight "Hey Fred, look! I'm in the top of a 100 foot tall tree."

The second person: "But Joe, we don't have any 100 foot tall trees in camp. First person: "Oh noooo....", screams as he is falling.

WARM WORMS

Two guys ice fishing, one catching a lot, the other nothing.

Third guys walks up and says; "Looks like your doing great. What's

your secret?"

Fisherman answers in a mumble.

Third Guy - "I didn't understand, what's your secret?"

Fisherman answers in a mumble.

This goes back and forth for a few times.

Then the fisherman cups his hands and spits out his worms and replies; "Warm Worms!"

WAIT! WAIT!

Shopper: Have you any four-volt two-watt bulbs? Clerk : For what?

Shopper: No, four-volt, two-watt.

Clerk : Two what?

Shopper: yes!

Clerk : No.

WATCH WHERE YOU HIKE

1st boy: "I heard you had an accident on your hike today."

2nd boy: "No but I did get bitten by a rattlesnake."

1st boy: "You don't call that an accident?"

2nd boy: "Heck no, he did that on purpose."

WHAT A DAY

(Three tired looking hikers enter, drop packs and flop in a circle.)

Hiker 1: (groans) What a day.

Hiker 2: (after a pause, groans) What a day.

Hiker 3: (happily) Yeah, it sure was!

Hiker 2: (angrily) If you can't stick to the subject, I'm leaving! (First two hikers stalk off, leaving third looking very surprised).

WHERE?

The three boys are in a line facing the audience.

Second Boy in Line: This story begins with "Once upon a time"

First Boy: Hey, wait a minute, I'm the beginning.

Middle Boy: I'm the middle.

Last Boy: That's nothing I'm the end.

WHICH ONE?

1st Scout: I went fishing last week.

2nd Scout: What did you catch?

1st Scout: Three bass and one smelt.

2nd Scout: It did? Which one?

WINE

What did the grape do when the elephant sat on it?

It let out a little wine.

WIRE

Wire for Mr. Jones.

I'm Mr. Jones.

The clerk hands him a piece of wire

WORDS

If your dog was chewing up your book, what would you do?

Take the words right out of his mouth!

WORMS

Two guys talking, first asks the second where he is going; second says fishing. First asks second what he has in his mouth and the first says worms.

The first guy says good luck and slaps second guy on the back.

WRAP

1st Scout: Say wasn't there a rap at the door?

2nd Scout: I didn't hear anything.

1st Scout: Yes, I'm sure there was a rap at the door!

2nd Scout: I'm sure I didn't hear anything.

The first scout then goes to the door and brings in a coat and tells the audience as he holds it up for them to see. I knew there was a wrap at the door.

WWW

Boy comes on, vigorously waving a butterfly or fisherman’s net. First Scout: Hey, what are you doing?

Second Scout: I’m catching computer viruses.

First Scout: You can’t use that on a computer virus! Second Scout: Sure I can - It’s an INTER net!

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