My Smokey Ladies Ch. 5
Copyright 2021 by Limnophile
Permission granted to print or repost for non-commercial use as long as the author is credited.
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I only offer this to entertain. If at least a few people get their feelings tugged around, I consider my mission accomplished. If I can give somebody a few laughs, or inspire an orgasm, that's even better.
Thanks to the editors and authors who have helped me improve my writing from 'Painfully Godawful' to 'Average'. I hope at least one of them will take a look at this and smile.
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CAUTION - If you don't like smoking, please leave now. This is not meant for you.
If you have a smoking fetish, like I do, please sit back and enjoy.
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I had quite an interesting interview with a lesbian couple, Bob and her girlfriend Jay. Their actual names were Roberta and Jenny, but it seemed they wanted to be as 'butch' as possible while still looking feminine and pretty. Both wore a lot of makeup and had long curly hair, Jay's in red, and Bob's was shiny and nearly black. The two of them shared a long cigar. I usually prefer ladies smoking long white cigarettes, but there was something special about seeing their lips on something about the same size and shape as my penis.
I asked them each a dozen or so of the usual questions, and their answers were very typical. They were both 20 and shared a small apartment while they went to college. They had started smoking at 15 when Bob took a cigar from her father's desk, and now they shared four or five cigars a day. It took quite a while for the fans to clear the dense smoke after the interview, but I was glad I got a chance to watch them.
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I had stealthily watched Beth smoke as I babysat her when she was nine. Now she was 18 and told me she was starting a 'witchcraft' shop with a few friends. As I started the interview in my basement, I was surprised to see her open her purse and take out a large Calabash pipe, a la Sherlock Holmes.
"Most girls smoke cigarettes. Why do you like a pipe?"
She lit it and I smelled the aroma of cherry tobacco. "It gets a lot of attention, good and bad. My friends usually like anything strange or different, and boring regular people usually don't like it, so they avoid me."
She took another big puff as I asked, "Do you like smoking different flavors, or just cherry tobacco?"
"I try a lot of things. Sometimes I mix in some clove or weed. If you mix weed with some of the strong-smelling tobaccos nobody can tell." She held the mouthpiece to her lips as she smiled naughtily and took another puff.
I said, "I'm not a fan of drugs or doing anything illegal, but that makes sense."
She said, "No, weed is legal here now."
I reminded her, "It's legal when you're 21."
She giggled, "Hehehehehe! Then it's good nobody can tell."
By the time she left after 3 pipefuls, I was starting to feel a little happy and odd, and wondered if I had gotten a little high from second-hand pot smoke too. I wasn't going to take a drug test to find out, though.
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Many months after refusing to marry me because of my overpowering smoking fetish, Cassie called me again. "Craig, I'm having some trouble. I've called everybody I could think of, but none of them can help me. Could... I don't believe I'm saying this. Could you pay me to do more movies? I'll even do porn. I need a lot of money in a hurry."
"Sure!"
She asked, "Are you busy next week?"
I had already picked up two of my cameras and was looking for spare batteries. "I can be there in fifteen minutes, if that's okay?"
I could almost hear her roll her eyes and shake her head as she laughed, "Of course, you can."
When I knocked on her door carrying two heavy bags full of cameras and gear, she shouted, "It's open!"
I walked in and saw her sitting on the sofa in the living room. My eyes widened and I froze in surprise. She looked up at me as she rubbed her large abdomen. She hesitantly said, "Craig, I need some help, I..."
I stared and asked, "Are you sure the kid's mine?" I hoped it was.
She was suddenly angry and threw a pillow at me. "PREGNANT! You think I'm PREGNANT! I have CANCER, you dope! It's mostly on the left, see. I haven't even talked to you in a year!"
My brilliant response was, "Oh."
She started crying as she said, "I need surgery, expensive medicines, and things. I'll do more videos smoking, giving you blowjobs, whatever you want. Please? I need at least fifty thousand."
"Cassie, I'm so sorry! You don't need to. I'll give you anything you need! Whatever it takes, I'm here for you. I love you." I hugged her and cried with her until just before her kids got home. I helped them move in with me the next weekend, since my house had four bedrooms with adjoining bathrooms. To get to the bathroom from her bed at her place, she'd needed to go downstairs.
The second night at my house, I tucked her into bed and walked to the basement to work on my research. I was quite surprised to see her 17-year-old daughter Carrie looking through the videos on the shelves. She said, "You recorded like hundreds of people smoking? Why?"
I told her part of the truth, "Eleven hundred and six, so far. I'm doing research about men with capnolagnia, or smoking fetish. It's a condition where they like watching women smoke so much that it causes problems."
"I only see videos of maybe a hundred guys, almost all are women. And like fifty are with Mom smoking."
"Forty-three. I recorded forty-three with your mom."
"That's a lot! You only recorded most of them like two or three times. You must really like her a lot."
"I love her so very much! More than I can explain."
"I see a lot with girls who aren't old enough to smoke, too. Like when Mom was in high school."
"There are ways around the law. Your mom wasn't old enough, so I explained the law and told her she shouldn't steal any of the cigarettes I put on the table in front of her. Then I told her I'm very bad at catching people." I winked.
Carrie picked up a pack of the extremely long menthol 156's and asked, "Would you catch me?"
"I uh..." I was very conflicted. I knew that Cassie wouldn't want her daughter smoking, and it would be wrong of me to allow it. However, I still had my severe fetish.
"I'd make a terrible cop." She laughed as I set two lighters and another pack on the table near her. I talked and joked with her for hours while I watched her smoke. Each night Cassie would go to bed early, saying the medicines made her tired. Carrie and I would make sure her younger sister Sherry was in her room, then we would go down to the basement again.
Cassie had the surgery, chemo, and many other procedures. Weeks later it was clear she was getting worse no matter what the doctors tried. I visited her hospital room one afternoon with Carrie. Her other daughter was at soccer practice and would be staying with a friend that night.
Cassie said, "I know I don't have long. I hope you'll take care of my girls, Craig. You're weird or a little off sometimes, but I know you're at least mostly a good man. Will you marry Carrie and adopt Sherry, be her dad? Please? So I know they'll be okay after I'm gone?"
I didn't even look at Carrie, I just stared in Cassie's eyes and said, "Anything for you."
Carrie cleared her throat. "Ahem. Don't I get a say in this?"
Her mother asked, "Please give him a chance. When he lived with us before he took good care of you and your sister. I know he's a great guy. He really is."
"But, Mom, he's SO OLD!"
She was right. Sherry had only turned 18 a week before, and I was 46.
"Carrie, please? He has a big house and lots of money. He can easily take care of you and your sister. At least go on a date with him and give him a chance?"
Carrie sighed deeply and paused a moment. Finally, she said, "Okay, I'll give him a chance."
As we were walking across the parking lot on our way home, Carrie giggled, "I didn't think it would be so easy! She WANTS me to marry you! She's been pushing me to date you since my birthday!"
I said, "I'll take great care of you and your sister. I'll get you nearly anything you want."
She cutely smiled and asked, "Will you catch Sherry? She smokes too."
That night I sat in the hot tub with them, joking and chatting as they shared an entire pack of cigarettes. I recorded Carrie and Sherry smoking a couple of cigarettes each in their swimsuits that night as the last of my 'research.' As we went to bed, Carrie asked, "Do you want to record us a lot, like you did with Mom?"
I replied, "I want to marry you. If we're going to be together for life, I can watch you all the time. What's the point?" I put my cameras in a closet and rarely took them out again. That was the last time I recorded anybody smoking.
After the wedding and Cassie's funeral, we drove around the country to recover from our grief. In a town near Yellowstone, we stopped for lunch at a café. On the way out, I saw a shop advertising, "VAPE -- the safer smoke!" I was curious and led the girls in. I bought half a dozen vape pens, several flavors of juices for them to try, and all the accessories. When we finished charging and setting up the vapes that night, the girls were overjoyed. Most of the juices tasted and smelled much better than real cigarettes.
When we got home, I did some research and discovered they were probably much healthier than tobacco too. One group of doctors said they weren't proven to be safe yet, but should be at least ten times 'less bad' than cigarettes. I happily watched my pretty young wife and her little sister vape every day.
When Carrie learned she was pregnant, she wanted to quit. The morality of the situation really hit me. I loved watching her smoke or vape, but I wanted to have a healthy baby too. I'm very glad she found a middle ground, vaping only a quarter as much as she used to.
After more than 20 years, I FINALLY completed my dissertation, and it was met with enthusiastic approval. It proposed a capnolagnia treatment with only three steps.
1. Marry a smoker
2. Convince them to vape instead
3. Screw the heck out of them any time they're willing
You wouldn't believe how hard it was to put that in scientific terms.
That leads me back to the dilemma I faced at the beginning of my story. Our beautiful redheaded housekeeper is hot for my wife, and my sexy sister-in-law wants me in her bed. I could hardly imagine a more enticing problem.
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