Certitudes

where am i?

why i am here?

what do i want?

do i want anything?

what is that?

confidence,

truth,

friends,

love?

why i don't know?

how can i found out?

is there any way for me to find out?

am i stuck?

what makes me sad in the morning when i wake up after a very nice weekend?

is it just a chemical process in my brain?

is it just an anomaly of my neural network?

is it an anomaly?

"is it" is the right question?

am i afraid?

of what?

of nothing!

is nothing bad?

why?

is my perception only?

might be...

or not!

swearing doesn't help anymore...

drinking either

and i don't do drugs

this was a day to stay indoors with me alone but i had to come to work

i don't want to complain but i can't keep it inside too long, anymore

i need to talk

think

grab it

know it

learn it

deal with it

it is a "it"?

i might find out it is me

that, my friend, it might be scary

hard to fight with

same flesh, same breath, same blood, same heart

but so different thoughts, feelings, visions

duality

heaven and hell

ice and fire

angel and demon

the balance makes the virtue

the virtue makes the fulfillment

the fulfillment makes the peace

but ... where is the happiness?

define happiness

dig deep inside

deep

deeper

can you find an answer?

"no" would be the answer of a lost man, blinded by his own demons, fears and mistakes

i can't say yes... yet.

Seattle, July 26th 2004

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