Another important distinction between infatuation and true love is sex, or I should say the quality of it.
Confusion is inherent in the words we use to describe our sexual interactions. Saying that one was intimate with another implies a misunderstanding between emotional and mere physical intimacy.
Then there is the expression "making love" in which physical intimacy is confused with true love. An initial attraction, a feeling of desire and even great sex can imply more of a relationship than there actually is.
Because of this confusion, it is better not to conflate true love or emotional intimacy with mere attraction, desire or sex. Even satisfying sex does not guarantee a great relationship or emotional intimacy. They are two very different beasts indeed!
The reason for this distinction is that emotional bonding and sharing are quite a bit harder to achieve than the pleasure and excitement associated with sex.
So does falling in love depend on prevailing circumstances, a matter of merely being in the right place at the right time?
There are situations that are more conducive to falling in love than others. One is when two people meet while traveling outside of their normal environment.
Another is at work. When people work together they are within intimate proximity of each other for an extended period of time and they are focused on similar goals and striving to meet similar challenges.
Work affords endless opportunities to gain mutual respect and trust. This is especially true in situations such as in the military, in which soldiers must not only rely on each other in dangerous circumstances but live and train with each other for months or even years.
Police and firefighters also must depend on one another. And those who have been through an extreme experience together such as a natural disaster, frequently form a unique rapport, bond and understanding of each other due to having gone through the same trying experience.
The question is whether such intimacy can continue to be sustained outside of the experience that had such a bonding influence. Sometimes, after the circumstances that formed such a strong bond between two people ends, so does the attraction and camaraderie between each other. If the relationship continues on, only then it can be called true love.
Sexual relations can involve a whole different set of dynamics. Sexual relations do not necessarily translate into a truly intimate relationship.
Indeed, intimacy may be the operative word here. When a true intimacy is established, true love is more likely to follow.
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