Men After Divorce - A Recovery Guide for Guys


Self Esteem & Self Destruction

Another important item you must understand in post divorce life for men after divorce is the issue of self esteem and how it can be a destructive force in your life.

What is Self Esteem?

Self esteem is an overused phrase I believe but the essence of it is very simple. Your self esteem is your own feeling of self worth. However there is another part to it. Self esteem is usually your sense of self worth in regards to other people and society. A divorce may not have changed you or who you are in any way, yet your self esteem plummets because of outside influences.

The feeling of self worth that is within yourself and stays constant through life's adversities is self respect.

How trying to fix low self esteem can be damaging

Trying to boost your self esteem after you feel worthless from a divorce and your life seems to be at an end is dangerous ground. You may feel powerless and seek to regain that power by short term and ill advices means.

Some men turn to anger and violence, others to drugs and alcohol, others to womanizing, and other still to become workaholics with no regard for their health or relationships. Something that makes you feel good for a short time will not last because the ego is always hungry and needs more and more self esteem to feel good if you do not have a good deal of self respect.

Short term esteem boosters will only make you feel worse when you realize they do not bring lasting contentment and happiness. Much like a drug user who needs another hit, men after divorce sometimes need to feed their ego again and again for fear of confronting the truth. The truth is that you need to change who you are, and how you gain fulfilment and happiness.


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