This song was a constant thing I listened to when I was younger. In my family, it was necessary that you followed the Christian religion. If you weren’t a part of it, you were going to go to hell. I was constantly in fear of falling out of Christianity because of that. So what I did was, when I started to go in the other direction, I listened to this song. I would be filled with guilt, sadness, and wonder. I didn’t understand the concept of God's love. Why would I be feeling all of these bad things if he loved me so much? Religion is not something you can force onto a person or it might not end up genuine. But I loved this artist and it motivated me to keep going and pursuing this religion and that it would be okay in the end. I would always end up with tears after this song. If anything, this song was a reminder for me of what God did for me and what he can do. I felt that this song taught me more about religion without the guilt than my parents had. Reflecting on this now, I know the difference between my relationship with God now and then. But everytime I hear this song it instantly brings me back to those moments and just fills me with sadness that I can feel in my chest. That's why I don’t listen to it unless I really want to cry.

I listened to this song a lot when my Grandma was getting close to passing away and after she did. I love my Grandma very much. Every time I would go over to her house I was always filled with joy. She was somebody that can always have a good conversation with someone. She was bright and always lit up a room with her presence. But when she got to a certain point with Alzheimer's, she was someone you couldn’t recognize. Her usually sweet perfume was gone, the happiness when she saw you was replaced with confusion, trying to figure out how she knew you. Once she came home from the hospital, she was on hospice with three days to live. For those three days, this song was on replay. I was in denial for so long that when I came to terms with the possibility of her passing, the grief and fear hit me like a truck. I stayed awake that last day in fear I was going to wake up and feel the change of everything if she was gone. That night, I listened to this song. With where I was emotionally in my family, I was comforting my younger siblings, but this song gave me its own comfort. It felt like it was listening and understanding my situation. It gave me hope through the grief.

When I was in the middle of chaos, someone who I see as a parental figure had sent me this song. My home life was like a whip of emotions. I was constantly taking care of other, older and younger siblings. Normally this wasn’t a problem with me, until it was. It was being a parent first, sibling second, student and then athlete third. I was struggling a lot in school, but mostly I was having a hard time with my mental health. I didn’t know how to handle all of these responsibilities and I kept receiving all of these degrading comments about myself from my parents and just accepted it. I remember just sobbing in the dark corner of my room because of how helpless I felt. I didn’t understand why I wasn’t enough for anything. I didn’t know how much I could take for a while, so the last option was reaching out for help. While I reached out for help, one thing they helped was sending me this song. The first time I listened to it, I didn’t understand the point of it. But as I listened more, the message slowly seeped into my brain. I soaked up the message and I allowed it to bring up emotions I wasn’t allowing myself to feel. All I wanted for myself was to finally feel safe and cared for and the individual who had sent me this song and has helped me so much from then on was showing me that they can pick me up where I had thought I was giving up.

This song was where I fell in love with orchestra type of music. I remember seeing this artist pop up on my suggested people to listen to on my spotify and first thinking, “Aw she is so cute”. But I clicked on one of her songs, and just absolutely loved the background of the music and the way her voice shows as much emotion as she would allow. I kept listening to her songs more and more and once I got to this song, it captivated me. Her emotions when she talks about her childhood and her childhood home, she lets us feel that it can be a bittersweet moment for people. But the music in the background is beautiful. I could listen to it all day with how it makes me feel. It's just letting everything go, letting that calming presence wash over you and just listen to a piece that was created for a song to fill your ears and wrap around your thoughts. Once you figure out how to allow yourself to feel all of those feelings, it’s something you want to happen again. My favorite way now to calm myself and relax is listening to Laufey or listening to orchestra music.

This song has such good memories. My favorite one is with my best friend, Ashleigh. I am not kidding when I say she is one of a kind. She is spunky, sarcastic, sassy, caring and there for you when you need it. She is the same type of person as me, we are both homebodies, but we will do anything together. During this last summer, we would go on Jeep car rides with the top off the jeep, blasting music. This song was always in rotation. We are suckers for those white girl bangers, so it was the majority of the playlist. But I loved those times because I remember how happy and carefree everything was. We would scream this song and once the rapping part of it came on, she would point to me and say, “Take it away”. It brought out the sassiness we both  have, which is basically throwing gas on fire. Once it’s out in the open, we love messing with the people around us (but only if we care and love them). We were always out of tune for every song but that is what made it so fun. Having a bond like that with her always makes me appreciate life a little more and shows me a way God has blessed me.