translation by mourningmoor
I scoffed at Roa, who had made some bland remarks, and sat down on the sofa in the waiting room to check Universe.
It seems that because I was busy with other things yesterday and skipped monitoring, such words were exchanged.
Still, even so, how could someone who claims to like someone think of making them cry?
As I scrolled through the posts, I found the ones Roa had talked about.
Wow, yesterday Jaewon was sobbing while reading a letter, and I ended up crying along with him.
Isn’t it so cute? Picking up each word, reading and crying, reading and crying. Our crying baby is so lovableㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Siu was beautiful even when he cried. It was really so touchingㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
Roa, our crying ramyeon, struggled not to shed tears with reddened eyes. Eventually, the tears burst out. And so did my heart.
Anni, hyung, why aren’t you two crying? Especially Leader Kang. He had the same default expression from start to finish.
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ that’s Leader Kang’s charm. He doesn’t get shaken by anything.
└That’s why I want to make him cry even moreㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Joondaeng was on the edge. But since Ichan didn’t cry, it seems he couldn’t cry. I’m stronger, right?ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
└He was about to cry if you pushed him a little. Let’s do well today, bulbs.
I’ll greatly reward the filament that makes Kang Ichan cry.
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ isn’t that too difficult a task?
└ㅋㅋㅋㅋ this is driving me crazy. King Ichan-nim. Light Ichan-nim. Just cry once. Please.
No way. Who do you think I am?
I chuckled dryly and put my phone down on the table.
To be honest, it was touch-and-go yesterday.
Even though I’ve lived for 319 years, it was a feeling I had never experienced before.
No, maybe I had felt it before, but it might have been so long ago that I can’t even remember when.
Moreover, Kang Ichan’s heart acted on its own, surging and spouting hot blood. Thanks to that, my eyes did get a little red.
But I’m not someone who would easily be defeated.
I’ve been through battles on land, sea, and air, and experienced every emotion the world has to offer. I’m not the kind of soft human who would cry over something like this.
“Let’s see if you can make me cry.”
* * *
The second concert began.
Today, the members’ families were seated in the VIP section with PD Pyo.
Siu’s family was almost fully mobilized, including his grandmother, and on Roa’s side, his mom, who had left the store to his sisters, attended with his dad. Jaewon’s mom came with her sister from Masan, and Kang Ichan’s mom, who lives in Samcheok, arrived with her closest friend five minutes before the show started.
The slight problem was Hanjoon’s family.
Neither his mom nor his older brother came, and his younger sister sat in the VIP section with a friend.
“It’s annoying. That so-called brother of his. He’s not coming till the end?”
I muttered to myself, thinking of Hanjoon’s brother.
But damn, my voice was picked up by the mic and in-ears, and the other members heard it.
―What, why.
It was Hanjoon.
―You were talking about my brother, right?
Hanjoon, who knew I had met his brother after the last incident, immediately chimed in.
―It’s fine, don’t worry about it. Thanks to that, Yeonwoo brought a friend.
Yeonwoo, right, that was Hanjoon’s younger sister’s name.
She was the kind younger sister who always worried about her older brother’s wounds, fearing they might reopen.
―Yeonwoo’s best friend is your fan. Her bias is Kang Ichan, and her second bias is Kim Jaewon, so make sure to give out lots of autographs today. Take some pictures too.
Then the youngest responded.
―Got it. I’ll give out ten autographs. Don’t worry.
―Wow. I’m jealous. Hyung-nim. I want to sign too. Include me and Siu hyung-nim.
It was Roa, who was waiting below the extended stage.
Hanjoon chuckled at Roa’s words.
―Of course. Park Roa and Yoon Siu are Yeonwoo’s favorites, so work harder.
―Huh? Okay.
Siu, who had been quietly waiting, startled and answered.
It must have been funny because Jaewon and Roa burst out laughing.
Then, the standby signal came through the in-ears.
The video playing on the LED screen behind the stage changed, and the lights dimmed.
It’s about to start.
I quietly called the members through the mic.
“Alright, we’ve had a good laugh and loosened up, so let’s do well today too. Don’t be nervous.”
Then, the members, each in their starting positions, responded with energetic voices through the in-ears.
―Hyungs, let’s enjoy today too.
―I’ll do my best without mistakes today.
―Let’s go for the crab price.
―I’ll do my best too.
As soon as Siu finished speaking, the music started.
Below the extended stage, Roa’s lift slowly rose from the farthest point.
Roa’s back came into view.
Park Roa had already become one with the stage.
* * *
Kang Ichan’s mom, Mihyang, watched her son on stage and cried endlessly. It seemed her tears didn’t overflow, but they were there.
From the moment Ichan appeared on stage until now, just before the encore, there wasn’t a single moment that wasn’t moving.
The friend who accompanied her today tightly held her hand.
“Ichan is so cool. You really raised him well.”
“Where did I raise him? He grew up on his own.”
“But you worked yourself to death so Ichan wouldn’t go hungry.”
She was a friend who had witnessed all of Mihyang’s misfortunes.
So there was nothing to hide.
“No. I didn’t starve myself to keep him alive. He’s the one who kept me alive.”
Yes, that’s probably the truth.
“And Ichan really grew up on his own. I just worked myself to death. Really, just worked myself to death.”
It was when Ichan was just born.
The grandmother next door, who enjoyed fortune-telling, insisted on reading Ichan’s father’s fortune.
So she allowed it as a joke.
But the result was devastating.
[Well, there’s no guarantee this is accurate, but I feel uneasy, so I should tell you.]
The grandmother next door, who hinted at a bad fortune, made her shoulders tense.
[Seokhyeon’s dad. It seems like it would be better to quit being a singer.]
[Why?]
[Well, the men in this family die young if they do music. There’s some kind of curse…]
And she went on for a while.
She got angry, saying how could she say something like dying young, and kicked the grandmother out. But not long after, that fortune became reality.
Ichan’s father, an unknown singer, was scammed while making an album and ended up in massive debt.
They barely managed to pay off the debt by selling the small apartment her parents had given her, but Ichan’s father couldn’t bear the situation and took his own life.
And not long after, her eldest son followed in his father’s footsteps.
As she left her son’s ashes at the memorial hall, she remembered the grandmother’s fortune.
That doing music would lead to an early death.
She thought it was ridiculous nonsense, but it wasn’t.
She immediately stopped Ichan’s piano lessons.
[Mom. I want to learn. Please let me learn the piano.]
[No. Let the dogs have music. You’re absolutely not allowed, so understand that.]
She thought that was the way to protect Ichan.
But it wasn’t.
If she really wanted to keep him away from music, she should have paid more attention to Ichan and listened to her son’s voice.
But she was too busy trying to make a living.
She left her young son alone. Literally, she only made sure he didn’t starve, but as a mother, she did nothing for him.
Time passed like that.
During the countless hours he had to endure alone, Ichan was secretly perfecting his music.
In his third year of middle school, Ichan declared he would become a singer.
That terrifying singer. That doing music would lead to an early death, and he wanted to do it. She couldn’t accept it.
She absolutely refused.
After a year of resisting, one day Ichan took pills.
He decided to take his own life, saying it was better to die than not be able to become a singer.
It was in the hospital emergency room after stomach pumping.
[Do as you please.]
Whether he dies like this or like that, it seems he’s determined to die.
What’s so special about dying? Everyone dies, so it’s funny that only he wants to live.
Her mind, tangled with pity and anger, couldn’t even think straight.
So she let him go.
[But I won’t see you again.]
She decided to erase him as if he were dead.
But she couldn’t. She kept worrying.
When she heard through Gyuhyung that Ichan had been kicked out of his original agency, she was so happy she even danced.
She thought that since his brother and father died before their debut, Ichan might die if he debuted too. But since he was kicked out of the agency, it seemed his life was extended.
But in the end, he debuted.
Around the time Ichan debuted, she couldn’t even sleep properly. She would have a fit every time the phone rang.
She was so afraid it might be news of an accident involving Ichan.
But that Ichan.
Now he’s standing on such a big stage, singing. And he’s shining so brightly. He’s loved by so many.
See. The fortune was all nonsense.
“Your dad would be happy. A solo concert.”
Maybe he’s crying, saying his resentment has been resolved.
“Mihyang, you’re lucky. To have a son like that.”
Her friend praised Ichan with a voice full of envy.
Yes, I’m lucky. To have a son like that.
It’s just unfamiliar because I haven’t seen him much, but it’s good. Really.
Maybe because of the idol training, but the Ichan she knew and the Ichan now don’t match at all, but it feels good.
From his personality to his gaze, his actions, and habits.
Everything is different from the Ichan Mihyang knew, but it’s the best.
“Yes, it’s good. It’s unfamiliar, like he fell from the sky, but it’s good. A lot.”
And finally, the encore stage began.
The members, wearing jeans and black hooded jackets, appeared on stage via lifts.
Then, colorful paper airplanes flew towards the stage.
As the paper airplanes flew through the space illuminated by dazzling lights, it felt like entering a giant underwater world and watching fish swim.
Ichan also looked up at the flying paper airplanes.
A blue paper airplane flew towards Ichan.
The way he slowly reached out to catch the paper airplane was beautiful.
He shone brightly.
A faint smile spread across his face.
When did he become a child who could smile like that? Finally, the tears she had been holding back streamed down Mihyang’s cheeks.
“He was the happiest child when he was on stage.”
And she had been stopping him with the excuse of a ‘fortune.’
“If this is my destiny, then I’ll do it. Yes.”
Only then did Mihyang feel like she could truly bless her son’s dream.