translation by mourningmoor
Jaewon anxiously stared at his phone.
The filming started at 9 p.m., so it seemed like he’d have to wait until dawn to get a call.
“What is this hyung-ah trying to do now.”
Jaewon knew that Ichan’s appearance on <Gentleman> was because of Kim Junmo’s request.
Kim Junmo, who had almost become the nation’s most hated person, barely managed to salvage his image in the last episode of <King of the Jungle>. He was pulled out of the swamp, given cocoa, listened to, and even had his wounds treated.
The chemistry between L.I.T. and Kim Junmo was unexpectedly decent.
And when viewers saw Kim Junmo shedding chicken-droplet-like tears and having a moment of repentance, they couldn’t help but feel a bit of sympathy for him.
It was <Gentleman> that gave him another chance.
Mega Entertainment must be good at their job since they managed to get Kim Junmo a permanent spot on a top-rated variety show in the Sunday prime-time slot.
As a new member of <Gentleman>, Kim Junmo ended up receiving a penalty in the first episode. The penalty? Bringing in a guest.
Kim Junmo had apparently boasted about his connections and confidently claimed he’d bring in an amazing guest.
After calling Ichan and begging him, he finally got his approval.
Since Ichan had been in frequent contact with Kim Junmo lately because of the Taei issue, Jaewon thought he was appearing out of loyalty. But that wasn’t the case.
“How did he even know that Junhee was going to be there?”
Did Kim Jeongsoo tell him?
“Even when I was at my closest with Junhee, I didn’t know his schedule.”
Now that he thought about it, it was kind of funny.
Even though they were supposedly best friends, he didn’t know Junhee’s schedule, let alone his personal life.
No—at some point, Junhee had started keeping his mouth shut.
And that was since…
“Crazy. It was since the debut team was decided at Bishop.”
It was when Bishop Entertainment’s year-end evaluation showcase was held in grand fashion.
As a result of the evaluation, Jaewon was placed in the debut team, while Junhee was put in the candidate team.
They still took lessons in the same practice room, but their positions had changed. And from that moment, Junhee stopped talking.
“So we weren’t even friends since then.”
He must have been the only one who thought they were. A friend he wouldn’t hesitate to give everything to.
It was a delusion.
“Ugh, seriously.”
Jaewon messed up his hair with both hands and sat on the living room sofa, waiting like that for a long time.
How much time had passed? He must have dozed off because he was startled awake by the ringing of his phone.
“Hah—what? I fell asleep?”
Half-asleep, he reached for his phone on the table.
Jjokkomi Junie
T.N.: "Jjokkomi" is a Korean term used affectionately for someone small or cute.
It was 5 a.m., and Junhee was calling.
He suddenly recalled what PD Pyo had jokingly said last night.
[Just wait. In Junhee will be begging you on his knees.]
That thought made him hesitate to answer the call.
Right then, the bathroom door opened, and Ichan walked out. His hair was damp, as if he had just showered.
“What are you doing? Aren’t you gonna pick up?”
“When did you get here? I didn’t hear you come in.”
“You were dead asleep even when I talked to you. Just answer the call. The ringing is annoying.”
Ichan dried his hair with a towel as he walked into his room.
Jaewon muted his phone and abruptly got up from the sofa to follow him.
Junhee’s call wasn’t important right now.
He needed to talk to Ichan first.
“Hyung.”
Just as Ichan lay down on his bed, he pulled his sleep mask down to his neck and looked over.
“What?”
“What did you do today?”
“That’s what you were waiting for?”
“Yeah.”
Now that they were face to face, he couldn’t bring up Junhee.
“Nightmare.”
“…?”
“I was the villain in <Gentleman> today.”
Ichan smirked coolly, the corner of his lips twisting upward.
It was a smile that fit the word "villain" perfectly.
“You won, right?”
Based on <Gentleman>’s format, it was a battle between the villain, their accomplice, and the rest of the gentleman contestants. And since Ichan was the villain, the gentlemen had lost, one hundred percent.
“Of course. Have you ever seen me lose?”
Jaewon couldn’t help but laugh at Ichan’s answer.
He never loses. He doesn’t even start a game he might lose.
And if someone like Ichan decided to go all in? No one could stop him.
“So. Did you get what you wanted, hyung?”
“Yeah. I did.”
The corners of his lips curled up even more wickedly.
That meant he had a lot of fun.
“I guess I have to watch the broadcast live then?”
“I’d appreciate that.”
While Ichan was filming <Gentleman>, Jaewon kept thinking, trying to sort things out in his head.
Was Junhee, the friend he had since kindergarten, ever really a true friend?
No matter how much he thought about it, he couldn’t find an answer.
They were too distant to be friends, but he had liked him too much to say they weren’t.
That didn’t mean he couldn’t reach a conclusion.
“You must be tired. Get some sleep.”
Jaewon smiled, feeling a little lighter, and said goodnight to Ichan.
Then he turned around and was just stepping onto the ladder to his bed when—
“Jaewon-ah.”
Ichan called him.
When he turned back, Ichan, with a calm expression, spoke in an even voice.
“Live doing what you want. Say what you want to say.”
“Yeah. I will.”
He really would.
“Thanks, hyung.”
Jaewon nodded and climbed into bed to sleep.
Wake-up time was only a few hours away, but it felt like he would sleep well.
Then morning came, and after waking up, Jaewon sent Junhee a long message with a much lighter heart.
Sorry for not picking up. I was thinking.
I thought a lot. About why you did that to me.
Why, if I didn’t leave Bishop with you, I wasn’t your friend anymore. Why, if I worked hard, it meant I was ignoring you. Why you always threw such cruel words at me so carelessly. I couldn’t find an answer.
Then I thought—why did I accept everything you said without question? And that’s when I found the answer.
Why did I do that? Because I was scared of you? Because I liked you too much?
No. It was because I thought you were me.
But why did I think that? You’re not me, and I can never be you.
Maybe it was just a misunderstanding because we were together for so long, since we were so young.
But you’re the one who made me realize that wasn’t true. And once I understood that, I felt lighter.
From now on, I’m not going to live as “In Junhee’s friend, Kim Jaewon.” I’m just going to live as Kim Jaewon. And you should do the same. Not as “Kim Jaewon’s friend, In Junhee,” but just as yourself.
Live doing what you want. Say what you want to say. Live well.
I’m going to do the same.
Oh, and if you were planning to apologize—don’t. I’m not accepting it.
I don’t have the confidence to accept your apology and say, “It’s okay.”
If you want to apologize, you should do it to my mom.
My mom did her best for me, and she doesn’t deserve to be criticized by you. And you have no right to criticize her either.
From now on, I’m going to run toward the top without any hesitation.
I’m going to challenge myself and see how far I can go.
You do your best too. Let’s both give it our all on our own paths.
Then, Junhee-ya. Goodbye.
Jaewon hesitated for a moment, but in the end, he pressed the send button and shot up from his seat.
Then, the first thing he did was run to Ichan.
Ichan was making coffee and walking toward his computer when Jaewon rushed over and hugged him tightly.
“Hey. Kim Jaewon. You made me spill my coffee.”
He scolded him with a hint of irritation, but he didn’t push him away.
Even though the coffee had sloshed over and soaked the T-shirt he was wearing.
Jaewon tightened his arms around Ichan and, in a quiet but determined voice, declared—
“Hyung. I’m going to become the world’s greatest idol.”
Since he was young, he had lived with nothing but the goal of becoming an idol.
Because of that, the only friend he had was Junhee.
But now that he had come to his senses, Junhee hadn’t been a real friend either. Just an illusion.
In the end, the only real friend he had was the path of being an “idol” itself.
On that path, he had laughed, cried, and spent both his childhood and teenage years.
Then all he had to do was walk that path with certainty.
“It won’t be easy.”
“It’s okay. Because I have you, hyung.”
He wasn’t lonely because he had someone walking the same path with him.
“I have Roa hyung, Siu hyung, and Hanjoon hyung too.”
What more did he need? That was enough.
“So hurry up and drink your coffee, and let’s go to practice. Okay?”
* * *
The day before L.I.T’s comeback, 9:30 PM.
The N Live notification went off, signaling the start of a live broadcast.
It was a countdown live for the title track M/V of their first full-length album, which would be released at 10 PM.
The five members, dressed in comfortable casual clothes, sat side by side under a wall decorated with a banner that read “Congratulations on the Comeback.”
In front of them was a feast of food, including pizza and chicken.
At Ichan’s signal, the members greeted the viewers.
—Two, three. Hello, we are L.I.T.
It had been two weeks since their last fan-gifted advertisement live.
—We’re here.
Roa waved both hands and smiled brightly.
At that, Hanjoon sighed and patted his chest as if relieved.
—Finally, in just 30 minutes, the "Merry-Go-Round" music video will be released. I’m nervous.
—Me too.
Siu and Roa shouted at the same time.
Meanwhile, Ichan and Jaewon sat calmly with composed expressions.
Ichan was always like that, but with Jaewon also being quiet, worried comments started flooding in. Given the recent controversy surrounding Jaewon, it was natural for fans to be concerned.
—Don’t worry. I’m fine.
Jaewon answered with a bright smile.
—We just put a lot of effort into this first full-length album, so we’re naturally setting the mood. Once you see the music video later, you’ll understand, but I really look so coo—...
Before he could finish, Roa shoved a piece of chicken into Jaewon’s mouth.
—Stop spoiling and just eat your chicken.
Watching that scene, Ichan smiled faintly. Then, he slowly opened his mouth to speak.
—Let’s talk about the album for a bit.
At Ichan’s words, not only Filaments but also the members, who had been happily eating their snacks, focused their attention.
—Our first full-length album... as you’ll hear, it sings about life. The idea is that human life itself is a festival, a mixture of joy, anger, sorrow, and pleasure.
He then calmly explained the album’s concept and intention in detail.
Roa gave him a thumbs-up.
—This album is seriously the best one yet. There are a total of fifteen tracks, and not a single one is skippable.
Jaewon quickly added,
—Especially, look forward to the bold transformation of our three adult members.
As soon as Jaewon said that, the comment section exploded with insane energy.
He tried to read some of the comments, but they were flying by too fast, and he couldn’t catch a single one. Jaewon shook his head in disbelief.
—If just my words alone are causing this kind of reaction, when the M/V drops, Universe is going to crash.
And 30 minutes later, Jaewon’s words became a reality.