translation by mourningmoor
Kim Isaac, Kim Seokhwa, Kim Hyunsoo, Kim Junmo, Jackie Kim.
They said they were going to make a rival team for us, and the production crew had already named the opposing team K.I.T. Apparently, it stood for Kim Into Team.
Well, at least two out of the five were people I already knew, so that made things a bit less stressful. It was just slightly annoying, that’s all.
I scanned the lineup of the rival team and quickly assessed their tendencies.
Kim Hyunsoo, as always, would act like a cunning fox behind the scenes while pretending to put in his best effort in front of the camera. Kim Seokhwa, on the other hand, was the complete opposite—he would act all snarky on camera but work harder than anyone when no one was watching. But still, his stamina was so bad that it was beyond saving.
Kim Junmo, the former idol, quit his team just a year after debuting because training was too exhausting. He had since transitioned into acting, but since the film industry wasn’t much easier, he had recently started making a name for himself in variety shows. Basically, Kim Junmo was the textbook definition of a greenhouse flower—he just wanted to soak up sunlight and do nothing. In other words, he was practically useless.
Jackie Kim, the comedian, would be too busy fighting for screen time with his desperate attempts at being funny.
In the end, the only truly useful member of their team was probably Kim Isaac.
He had traveled all over the jungle with King of the Jungle's tribal leader, Lee Hanwoo, and had plenty of experience. He was definitely on a different level from the rest of them. Not that it mattered—he was still going to struggle alone in the end.
Ultimately, losing this rivalry would be a lot harder than winning it.
But my goal wasn't a team victory. Even if we lost, my plan was to make sure that every single member of L.I.T. was burned into the minds of the Korean public.
From Incheon Airport to Hawaii, then from Hawaii to Kiribati, the total flight time alone was fourteen hours. After landing in Kiritimati, we had to take another small plane to our final destination, Abemama.
During that time, I thought about how to make L.I.T. shine the most.
In the end, there was only one answer.
Just let them be.
Yeah, for now, I should just let them be.
As soon as we arrived at Abemama Airport, I gathered the members in a corner and quietly gave them a reminder.
“Enjoy it.”
I wanted to tell them not to be conscious of the cameras, but I couldn’t go that far.
“Just be a little bit aware of the cameras.”
I immediately saw Yoon Siu tense his shoulders, so I lightly patted them.
“Just a little bit aware. We are idols, after all.”
Siu, in response, flared his well-shaped nostrils with determination and nodded.
“Then, shall we cheer before we start?”
“Sounds good.”
“Let’s do it.”
Stacking our hands together, we let out a short cheer before stepping out of the airport.
* * *
Only after L.I.T. had already left for Kiribati to film King of the Jungle did their official schedule get updated on the website.
It had been twelve days since their August 1st fan meeting.
What the heck ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ Did the kids really go to the jungle?
└ Yeah, I saw an article about it. (Photo) (Link)
Kiribati? Where even is that ㅠㅠ
└ Isn’t that the place? The country that's going to disappear soon because of rising sea levels.
└ WTF. They really sent our kids somewhere like that?
└ ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ It's not gone yet ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ People still live there.
Are they really not in Korea anymore? I didn’t even get to see them off.
└ I felt weirdly empty all morning, and now I know why ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
No, seriouslyㅠㅠㅠㅠ Why are they sending them to the jungle? What kind of suffering are they trying to put them through?
└ Exactlyㅠㅠㅠㅠ Isn't Pyo being way too harsh on our boys?
└ Sure, their popularity will definitely rise after this, but do they even need that kind of boost?
└ That’s what I’m saying ㅠㅠ Can’t they just let them stay on stage? They look the best performing anyway.
Most Filaments were unhappy about L.I.T. being sent to the jungle.
Even though they were still young idols, anyone could see that they were stage masters and artists. Did they really have to be forced into such grueling conditions?
Some Filaments even argued that it would be better to just lock them up in the studio or practice room and have them work on their album instead.
Of course, not all of the reactions were negative.
Oh, damn. WTF. Are we actually going to see Chan-ah furrow his brows and make fire with a fire stick?
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ, I’m excited too. What if he just snaps his fingers and fire magically appears? They are Bbitdol (T.N.: L.I.T.'s nickname, derived from ‘빛돌’ meaning ‘light stones’ or ‘shining idols’), after all."
└ I’m looking forward to Joondaeng’s mukbang. He seems like the type to thrive even in the wild.
└ ㅠㅠㅠㅠ He worked so hard dieting for their promotions, I hope he eats a lot. Joondaeng-ah, eat well!
Wow, if Yoon Siu swims through the coral reefs in a diving suit, wouldn’t he look like a real-life mermaid prince?
└ Mermaid PRINCE, you mean. He’s way prettier than any mermaid princess.
ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ, I can already imagine the maknae line causing chaos in the waters of Kiribati. Just thinking about it makes me happy.
└ Jaewon is definitely going to cause ‘accidents’ (accidents as in pranks) while Roa follows him around, nagging the whole time. ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
Of course, the other Filaments weren’t completely against it either.
They were just worried because the place sounded harsh and unforgiving.
But the fandom's outcry gradually died down when L.I.T.'s self-produced content was uploaded.
An episode they filmed at their hotel after Paris K-KON had just been released.
<Episode 11: Though the Beginning Was Humble, the End Will Be Grand>
The title made everyone tilt their heads in confusion.
What on earth did they do for the beginning to be humble but the end to be grand?
Curious, they clicked on the video. And soon, they completely understood the meaning behind the title.
The video started with the members lying flat on the floor, playing Halli Galli (T.N.: a fast-paced card game where players slap a bell when they spot five of the same fruit). Then, it escalated into 007 Bang (T.N.: a Korean party game involving quick reactions and mind games), and before long, they had created a brand-new game that involved running in circles endlessly.
They still had some semblance of reason while playing Halli Galli, but by the time they got to 007 Bang, they had lost all self-control.
When they started slamming each other’s backs as punishment for losing, their descent into madness became obvious.
With no time to even catch their breath, they kept shouting, “Next game! Next game!” Then, they started playing Yutnori (T.N.: a traditional Korean board game) using their sneakers instead of actual yut sticks.
At this point, even the Filaments watching the video lost all sense of reason.
Eventually, they started attaching penalties to every game, and some of the punishments got more and more absurd. When Yoon Siu’s homemade cookies appeared as a punishment, the Filaments completely lost it.
NOOOO ㅋㅋㅋㅋ, why would they use Siu’s baked goods as a punishment?
└ If they don’t want it, just give it to me! I’ll eat it all ㅠㅠㅠㅠ
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ Look at Siu’s face. Even when he’s flustered, he’s still ridiculously handsome.
ㅋㅋㅋㅋ This is absolutely hilarious, but ㅠㅠㅠㅠ our boys must be suffering in the jungle right now, huh?
* * *
Dog hardship? Yeah, there’s no dog hardship worse than this.
Ah, damn it. Was there really no other choice but the jungle? Regret came rushing in.
I should’ve just filmed self-produced content all week long, shot all sorts of NewTube videos of us cleaning the dorm. Even Hanjoon-ah’s mukbang would’ve been better.
But the jungle. The jungle.
Among all the islands in Kiribati, this was the remote one. The most remote of the remote, carefully chosen by the production crew. Props to them for that. Of all places, how did they even pick this one?
A vast ocean and nothing but palm trees, with some makeshift building materials thrown at us. We were told to build a shelter before the sun set. Oh, and the insects and lizards were optional extras.
I mean, there were always rumors about this show being staged, but why is this episode so damn real? Damn it.
Just now, Lee Hanwoo, who had designated a small sandy beach as our camp, was giving instructions to the cast.
“For now, it’s best to split into a shelter-building team and a fire-making team. That way, we won’t starve, right?”
The issue wasn’t whether we’d starve or not.
The issue was that everyone, on both teams, was in a state of panic.
As expected, that team was completely useless except for Kim Isaac.
There was a reason why Kim Isaac called Kim Hyunsoo, Kim Seokhwa, and Kim Junmo "handsome trash 1, 2, and 3." Then what about Jackie Kim? Just trash. Not even handsome, just trash.
In the end, our chieftain, Lee Hanwoo, started helping their team.
What about us? We were a complete disaster too.
“Uuuughhh. Ichan-ah.”
I swear, I have to get Hanjoon-ah off me before I can get anything done. I’m losing my mind.
“Waaaaaaah. Ichannie hyung-ah.”
This one too.
“Just, please, let go.”
With Hanjoon clinging to one side and Jaewon-ah clinging to the other, I was stumbling through the forest until I finally snapped.
“No, seriously, we need to carry palm leaves to cover the roof, but if you both grab onto my arms like this, what am I supposed to use to gather them? My mouth?”
Hanjoon scratched his head and took a step back.
Jaewon, too, bit his lip and backed away slightly.
I brought two of our five members who are supposed to be the "tough guys," but they’re absolutely no help.
Especially you, Han Junyoung.
“What’s so scary about bugs? Think about it the other way around. Isn’t hyung scarier?”
I wasn’t even surprised by this point.
The day PD Pyo first brought up "King of the Jungle," I already expected this. It’s just louder and more annoying than I imagined.
What I really didn’t expect, though, was this little brat Jaewon.
“And you, maknae. You were talking about such a big game, and now you freak out at a lizard? Not even a snake, just a lizard?”
Just a while ago, he was saying he’d skewer twelve lizards and grill them up, but the moment a lizard the size of a finger scurried across the sand, he screamed and bolted straight into the ocean.
“From now on, no grabbing my arms. Anyone who grabs my arm is getting left behind in the jungle.”
Jaewon-ah scanned his surroundings with wide, terrified eyes, then looked at me like he was about to cry.
“B-but, it’s still scary.”
“Oh yeah? Then go ahead and hold on. I’ll tie up my hands and you two can gather the palm leaves yourselves. I’ll just stand here. You can also go fish for food by yourselves.”
That, apparently, was too much for him. He immediately wilted, pouting his lower lip pathetically as he shook his head.
See? You should’ve just done that from the start. I turned away from Jaewon and looked at Hanjoon.
“What about you, hyung?”
But his expression was weird.
His face had gone completely pale, and his eyes were round with shock.
“I-Ichan-ah?”
“What’s wrong?”
“I-Ichan-ah!”
Hanjoon’s voice was filled with horror and disbelief.
His trembling hand pointed to my right, just above me.
“I-I… Chan-ah. S-s-snaaaaaake.”