Peter Thân

My mother was very lucky and happy as a child. Her family never had a lot. She grew up in the countryside and everyone knew everyone. No one had much, but everyone treasured what they had. Usually families in Vietnam care for the first born and the youngest, but her father cared for every single family member equally. 12 siblings. 8 sisters and 4 brothers with the oldest being 12 years older than the youngest. My mother was the 3rd youngest and throughout her younger years, she took care of her youngest sister, named Oac Hoa, because she had autism. Of all her sisters, she loved her the most, and it was both ways. I had the pleasure of meeting her when I was 5 before she passed away a couple years after.

During her childhood years, she would do as any kid would. Go to school, study, go home, etc.

My grandfather had a company where he would make food called Com Dep Xanh or Sweet Rice Flakes and Coconut. Following her father when she was 16 as a businesswoman, she decided to quit high school and sell pork. She was lucky enough to keep all the proceeds. She bought a Honda Dream II for what is the equivalent of $2,000 in 1995 or $3400 in 2021.

My mom has a twin and as twins all antics do, people get them mixed up. She is the younger sister. When her sister, Thi, got married, her husband accidentally called out to my mother, yanking her by the arm to go get their picture taken, thinking that he was her wife. My mom pointed out the error and everyone was laughing. They would always wear the same clothes even until her sister got married.

The reason my mother was able to immigrate to America is because my father who lived there at the time needed to find a wife. She was 25 at the time and he, 26. They had met in their elementary school days and the two families were already close knit so of course it wasn’t a surprise that they got married. After they met initially when my father went back, they kept in close contact through calling and after a couple years, he came back to wed my other. She said it was the happiest day of her life. After, my mother had her eyes set on America and never looked back.

She went in the first place because she liked the idea of going to America. It was because she was raised to believe that America was beautiful, everyone was good, everything was lawful. When she came over, she was incredibly happy.

However, she regrets the decision to this day. The reason she regrets going now is because of my father’s side of the family.

She was always lectured by my father’s side of the family and was scared of her sending money back to her family in Vietnam. And when she did get a job, they did not want her to buy a house or prosper. She would be beaten and lectured if she had any thoughts that were of freedom.

She would’ve gone back if it weren’t for me, and eventually, my sister. She feels it as an obligation to stay and raise us, and doing that, gives her the joy of her life.

Four months in, she would eventually get a job and she would go to wake up at 5am to go to work and my father would drive her because she was pregnant at the time. She would go into the guest room to take a nap before her shift started. She worked for another seamstress at their house, sewing dresses until 8pm. Making that much money, she was addicted to it, but unfortunately, the money that my father and my mother made went into the living expenses for the family household that she lived in.

Eventually after 3 years, on a stormy night, at 9pm, my father and mother ran away from the household to rent a room for 8 months, but it was very small. It was cold and they were afraid of turning off the heat because it would anger the landlord. They would have one stovetop and slept on the ground with me, huddled together by a blanket. They were able to pay for rent and other necessities like food and clothes, and had some left over. So after months of saving up, they were able to buy a small townhouse. 246 Irazu Ct.

For a while, my mother was afraid of ghosts and would stay in the car until later than 11pm with me in her arms, waiting for my father to come back home from work before entering the house. Despite this, she was very happy because they had a house over their heads that they owned.

After a couple more months, she opened up a business called Tho’s Alteration and Cleaners on Bascom Rd.

Doing this project allowed me to learn more about my mother that I never thought existed. It will help keep her memory alive by spreading this on to the future generations.

Reflection