Mary Nguyễn

Hi there! I am one of this year's MHTL staff members. I grew up attending Giáo Lý Việt Ngữ at MHT and found my closest group of friends in youth choir. Through the MHTL program, I developed skills and relationships that became the foundation of my growth. I am excited for everyone to see what our class has been up to!

For this project, I chose to focus on my mother's story to share with you all the amazing qualities I see in her and to shed light on how she has impacted my life.

The Journey at Sea

My mother, Thanh Mai Đinh, is the 3rd oldest of 8 children and the oldest girl in the family. Like many families, her siblings had to split up to flee the country on separate trips and she was in the group that went first. On an April night, she left for the sea with one of her younger brothers, her eldest brother, and his daughter. Throughout the journey, there was one particular night where my mom thought they were not going to make it. The furious storm rocked the small fishermen's boat with its menacing waves. The only thing that the people on the boat could do was pray for God to calm the waves and bring them to safety.

Photo of Mai taken for paperwork when she first arrived at Galang

Galang Refugee Camp

On the 9th day, the boat arrived on the shores of Galang Refugee Camp #1, where Mai and her family waited 20 days for their paperwork to process. After being transferred to Galang Camp #2, she and her relatives spent the next 6 months.

Mai and her friend Dung on the beach of Galang Island.

Tutorial on Sprouting Mung Beans

MHTL Bean Sprouts.mp4

At the refugee camp, they were rationed foods like rice, mung bean, vegetables, canned good.

It was during this time that Mai learned to cook from the cô's (aunties) on the island. One of the things she learned was how to sprout mung bean. Follow the video and try it at home with your family!

Resettling in the States

Mai and her siblings were sponsored by their grandfather, who had left Vietnam right soon after the Fall of Saigon. In the United States, their family settled in San Jose, California with the relatives who came before them. As soon as Mai's family arrived in America, there was no time to rest. Her eldest brother immediately sought out a full-time job, while Mai worked part-time and took classes in the evening at a community college. Her younger brother and niece were both still very young, so they attended school.

Money order receipts of money Mai sent to support her brother and sister at the Galang Refugee Camp in the 1990s during the 7 years they were there

Mai with her ESL teacher

All the money they saved up went to sponsoring the rest of their family to come to America. Some family members were caught when escaping and Mai's father had use all his savings to bribe their way out of jail. Relatives who successfully escaped depended on money sent in order to survive the difficult life in the refugee camps.

The Đinh Family is quite extensive because both Mai and her father came from a family of 8 children. With a family that big, you would expect members of the family to be scattered and distant. However, resettling in America only brought them closer to each other. The house of Mai's grandfather became the family's sanctuary because this was where newly arrived members of the family would stay. Although the house would get packed (at one point, housing 22 people), Mai recalls how fun it was to be there because this house was also the gathering house for all big holidays.

Throughout the years of adjusting to their new life in America, the family struggled through all the hardships together and this strengthened the bond they have and plays a big factor in their relationships to this day.

Mai and the extended Đinh Family kickin' it

80s vibin'

Mai with her niece (eldest brother's daughter)

My Reflection

My aunt and uncles call my mom Má Mai, which means Momma Mai. When I was younger, I never understood why they called their own sister by the nickname "mom". However, after hearing my mother's story of survival and resettlement, I realized that she had to be the mother figure for all 5 of her younger siblings. She not only worked to provide for her family in America, but also had to send money to support her siblings in the refugee camps and relatives back in Vietnam.

Seeing how my mother cares for her family, especially for my dì (mother's younger sister) and cậu's (mother's younger brothers), I realized the importance of being there for your family, through thick and thin. I admire the spirit of unconditional love my mother embodies and aspire to be the kind, compassionate woman that she is.

Đinh Family Tết Celebration (2018)

This project also allowed me to understand the origins of the expectations I had as I was growing up. Being the eldest daughter of an immigrant family places additional responsibilities. Not only must I follow traditional gender norms, but I am also expected to take care of family matters while trying my best to excel in academics--the gate to success for refugee/immigrant families. Although I may not agree with these expectations, understanding where they came from helped me come to terms with them and gave insight on room for change for future generations to come.

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