Hey, I'm Leyna and I'm a first-year at MHTL
I decided to focus on my Dad's story and discuss the highlights of his early life, his journey to America, and his life in a new country. I wanted to share his story to express the important moments and factors throughout his life which shaped him into the individual he is today.
My dad, Thắng Tất (Joseph) Mai, was born on January 1st, 1973 in Đà Lạt but grew up in Sài Gòn until he migrated to the United States. He was the fifth child and grew up with four older sisters and two younger sisters. Throughout his younger years of maturing, you would expect that my dad felt a lot of pressure. Being the only male child in the family, there were many expectations he was counted on to meet, but he met them all. Like numerous families, my dad grew up lacking resources and money. He was taught to appreciate everything and anything given to him, big or small; the experiences he faced growing up has made him an appreciative and hardworking figure who I look up to to a great extent.
My dad, his five older sisters, and his parents (he is the baby in white)
Initially, like most Vietnamese immigrant families, my dad's family didn't all travel to America at the same time. He, two of his older sisters, and one of his younger sisters were the first to leave Vietnam. They left in 1987 when my dad was thirteen years old.
In this first recording, he goes in-depth about the route he took, and how he ended up at a refugee camp in Thailand. The circles on the map indicate the countries he traveled to before coming to the U.S. (as said in the recording). In the second recording, he explains how he was fortunate to have a Catholic Sister from a church in California, Sister Nicole (who he referred to as "Sơ" in the recording) sponsor him midway through the journey to America.
(Listen to the recordings from top to bottom)
Soon after settling in the United States, the rest of his immediate family in Vietnam was transferred to the U.S. by Sister Nicole. They were reunited with each other and began their life in the new country.
Starting a new life in a completely different country was definitely a struggle. When I asked my dad about his first memories in America, this was his response.
(Listen to the recordings from top to bottom)
He expressed how one of the major factors he dealt with after recently moving to America was feeling different compared with local kids. As stated in the audio, my dad felt discrimination through being a young adult in school and not fitting in.
Another one of his main struggles was learning English.
Further, (not included in the recording) I remember a particular story he shared with me, my dad explained how it was always difficult to afford clothes that were suitable for him. So growing up with all sisters, he often needed to borrow their clothes since my grandpa's clothes were far too big. He now jokes about it but then again, growing up he felt very out of place.
My Dad, his four older sisters, and my Ông Nội (top) and him with all his siblings and my Ông Nội (bottom)
A family portrait of my Dad's side of the family (I'm the baby in the top right)
A few years ago, my Bà Nội passed away due to cancer, it was a difficult period of time. Moreover, recently, my Ông Nội's Alzheimer's has progressed further and he has an extremely difficult time remembering names and faces. I asked my dad how he felt about his parents, and what he was feeling at the moment.
In the recording, my dad elaborated on acceptance, and how he has learned to accept his mom's passing. In my opinion, my dad often hides his feelings to protect us. He is used to being strong, like an anchor, so that the rest of his family can lean on him throughout difficult times.
My dad and my Bà Nội
My dad and my Ông Nội
My dad explained his relationship with his parents in this recording. My dad loves his parents very much. But, he expressed how he never had a strong bond or an "emotional attachment" to his parents in the audio. He said that even though his parents' passing would definitely make an impact on him, it "would not affect him as much as his sisters" since he left home at such a young age. Nevertheless, my dad loves my grandparents endlessly and though he never really says it, his actions definitely prove it.
Toward the end of our interview, I asked my dad a lesson he'd like to teach me. He told me:
"When you plan to do something for that person, you should just go ahead and do it because you might not have a chance to"
At the end, I asked my dad about something he would tell my future children, kind of like a saying or something he would want them to remember him by. He told me:
"A strong family makes a strong person"
Through this project, I realized each event my dad has faced impacts who he is today. I see that what he has encountered growing up reflects in him as a person, and I've come to realize how strong he really is. I feel like this experience has strengthened our bond and let us understand each other better. In a way, I like to think that my dad was happy to have someone to open up to since I've never heard him talk about these topics before. In brief, I'm glad I have a further understanding of our family's history and my dad's journey.