My name is Malik Kozaat, and I am currently a student enrolled at MCCKC. I am a proud Palestinian, and my family had lived in Gaza for a long time. I am currently in the US (In Missouri), and I truly do wish to visit my home.

My mother is a very big influence on me, and I love her to death. I wish I could dream of going back to the small buildings and olive gardens of my home, without being scared of bombs. 

I think I was half-alive for the first 15 years of my life, and even now I cannot tell if I still am. As far as I can remember, I have always struggled with simply living. Whether it be with figuring out what to do today, or what will happen 3 years in the future, I never really knew. And I still do not know. I am under the assumption that this is normal. That it is normal to not know where you are, and what you have to do. That it is normal to simply not be able to hear yourself in your own head. That it is normal to not feel alive, and wonder whether you are already dead.

My life is not bad, by any means. I am fed, clothed, and can sleep in a bed at night. That is more than some people can ask for, and I am aware. But I am ultimately living my own life, so my struggles are quite literally the biggest ones I have. My life has just been completely drenched in a fog of confusion, for all that I can remember. There really isn't much more to say. It is simply how I have lived. I have not lived before, so I cannot compare it to anything else. All I can do is compare it to myself, from the past, and into the future. It has been a struggle, that much is fact, but I can see it slowly growing better day by day. At first it was pitch black, but now it is grey. Still close to black, but with hope of being able to reach white one day. That will not happen soon, that I know, but I can still walk towards it all the same, and so I do.

Purpose is a word quite foreign to me. I simply believe my purpose in life is to live, for however long that may be. For me, living is being able to spread the joy I have experienced, onto others. All I have is a simple pair of helping hands after all. But in whatever way it happens, it still feels fulfilling, because that is the purpose I have defined for myself. Others have their own, and I have mine. That is one of the most beautiful aspects of being alive, that others are living in such different ways, but are able to keep themselves fulfilled. 

For me, one of the biggest goals I have, is to perceive myself properly. I wish for the ability to look at myself, and to be proud, be grateful, for this wonder of a life I have been given, rather than be scared of someone else's perception tarnishing my image. I want to look at everything with gratefulness and beauty, rather than scorn or hate. I want to always be the most human person I know. I want to leave a mark on this world intentionally, with the thoughts of love, rather than indignance.

For the experiences I have today, and the ones in the future, I shall gladly take them upon me. Every single experience is valuable, that I am quite sure of, since every experience makes me, myself. I would not be myself now, if not for the countless experiences of the past, and I will not be the same person in the future, as different experiences would shift my perspectives. However, no matter how contradicting it may be, there is one thing I know with full certainty.

I will always be Me, no matter what.

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Thanks for reading! Below are my preferred forms of contact. I do have a Fiverr, so feel free to commission me there!

Text or call is the easiest way to reach me. Cheers!

Phone: (816)-747-5572

Email: malikkozaat73@gmail.com

Fiverr: https://www.fiverr.com/s/AyRp4PY 

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