If there’s one person singlehandedly keeping retro gaming alive, it’s 9-Volt. This kid isn’t just a fan of old-school games—he’s obsessed to a level that is probably medically concerning.
While other kids were learning math, 9-Volt was speedrunning math class on his Game & Watch (when the teacher sees him gaming and steals the Game and Watch he uses a calculator to game.) While others were playing new-gen consoles, 9-Volt was hooking up an NES to his school projector. His encyclopedic knowledge of classic Nintendo history is both impressive and deeply terrifying.
His entire life philosophy can be summed up as:
"If it ain’t pixelated, I don’t want it."
Notable Feats and Schemes
The "Permanent Detention" Incident (2018)
Tried to replace all school computers with modded Game Boys running math software.
School staff didn’t appreciate this.
Punishment: Detention.
Outcome: 9-Volt used the time to beat Metroid with one hand and hopping on one foot.
The NFT (Nintendo Fanatic Takeover) Attempt (2021)
Attempted to turn his entire house into a Nintendo museum, but his mom shut it down after she found him trying to install an arcade cabinet in the kitchen.
Rumors say he still has a secret gaming bunker hidden somewhere.
The Cartridge Catastrophe (2022)
Once swallowed a Game Boy cartridge on a dare.
Doctors were shocked when it still worked after retrieval.
He now carries it around as a good luck charm.
GamingJorro vs. 9-Volt (2024)
In 2024, GamingJorro, the professional Fortnite player challenged 9-Volt to a 1v1. 9-Volt's reply was just one simple sentence:
"Nah, I'd play the SNES."
-9-Volt, to GamingJorro.
Technological Capabilities
9-Volt isn’t just a gamer—he’s a walking modder with a talent for turning anything into a gaming device. His known inventions include:
A toaster that plays SNES games.
A DJ turntable that runs on a hacked Famicom
A skateboard with a built-in GameCube (crashes every time he tries to play Melee)
A smartwatch that only plays Tetris and insults him when he loses.
A drive-thru computer from Sonic that runs like a GBA.
A Pronglebuck that can play like an Atari.
A Wii that runs 3D Pinball for Windows on Windows NT 4.0.
A Teasmade that runs Casper, Asterix, and Attack of The Killer Tomatoes.
A single Cheeto that can run Sonic the Hedgehog 2
Despite his legendary hacking skills, Nintendo security forces have yet to take action, likely because they’re impressed.
Current Status
9-Volt can still be found skating around Diamond City, challenging people to one-minute game battles or modding random devices into gaming consoles.
His dream?
To own every Nintendo game ever made.
His reality?
He’s running out of shelf space.
Trivia
He was the prime suspect of John Pork's murder. However, this was debunked in less then 30 seconds as he didn't have a clue who John Pork was. Apparently, the police was given information that he was the killer from a person high on Cheese.
Sometimes he uses Pronglebucks still.
He once spent 19 hours in Purgatoria, but left because of Tunnel Lady.
He Is Best Friends With Space.
