Fallon: "Don't keep reaching for the stars because you'll just look like an idiot stretching that way for no reason."

Fallon: "There's always going to be someone out there... who doesn't believe in you or who thinks your head is too big or you're not smart enough. But those are the people you need to ignore, and those are the times you need to just keep doing what you love doing."

Fallon: "Everyone looks so much better when they smile."

Fallon: "Politics is pop. Our job as comedians - especially me, as a late-night talk show, which is a broader audience - is to amplify what we think America is thinking."

Fallon: "'Have fun' is my message. Be silly. You're allowed to be silly. There's nothing wrong with it."

Fallon: "I wanted to be a Priest at one point. I was pretty religious. I was an altar boy, and I was good at it. Then, I started meeting girls and I'm like 'You know, maybe I shouldn't be a Priest.'"

Fallon: "Thank you... motion sensor hand towel machine. You never work, so I just end up looking like I'm waving hello to a wall robot."

Fallon: "I honestly, purposely have not gone to therapy because I know some crazy stuff's going to be dragged up and, you know, I'll be like, 'Wait, what?'"

Fallon: "The one thing you shouldn't do is try to tell a cab driver how to get somewhere."

Fallon: "I want to be a dad. That's floating to the top of my list. I think it's such an important thing. I'm at the age where everyone has kids, and I ask them, 'Is it like a puppy?' And they go, 'It's 10 times a puppy.'"

Fallon: "Thank you, horseradish, for being neither a radish nor a horse. What you are is a liar food."