Burnham: "I'm grateful for every stupid mistake and dumb joke I tried to make."

Burnham: "I think it would collapse my heart if I was super famous. I don't have the nerve for it, I'm too anxious. I don't know how you're not obsessed with how people perceive you, because they're real people, you know? You can convince yourself that they don't really know you, and that's true, but how can it not hurt your feelings?"

Burnham: "The Internet is so crazy, and you're exposed to so many things. In an hour, you can really jump around."

Burnham: "I like to call everyone that I find slightly annoying a 'sociopath.'"

Burnham: "I would say don't take advice from people like me who have gotten very lucky. We're very biased. You know, like Taylor Swift telling you to follow your dreams is like a lottery winner telling you, 'Liquidize your assets; buy Powerball tickets - it works!'"

Burnham: "Uncharted territory is a good place to be in."

Burnham: "I grew up listening to Steve Martin and Robin Williams, so I didn't ever intend to be a musical comedian. I sort of stumbled into it."

Burnham: "I fully embrace myself as a hypocrite."

Burnham: "I'm just a giddy teenager who would like to break into show business any way I can."

Burnham: "For me, if you distill comedy down, it is surprise and the unexpected. That has to be it on its most base level, in any form."

Burnham: "There's a certain line between jokes and music and poetry that's a bit blurred in my mind."

Burnham: "I don't want to put meaning on what I do because I don't know what it is."

Burnham: "I think the love-hate is fundamental. Everyone hates reality television, and everyone's watching it. Everyone hates Facebook, and everyone is on it."

Burnham: "Once a week, I like to slip into a deep existential depression where I lose all my sense of oneness and self-worth."

Burnham: "At once I feel that comedy is this amazing sort of transcendent thing, and I'm also open to the fact that maybe it's just an evolutionary hiccup, something that upright apes do in their free time."

Burnham: "Basically, I don't like to tweet stuff about my life. I only like to tweet jokes."

Burnham: "I just look at Miley Cyrus, and I'm like, 'Great, you've doubled your audience. But you've also doubled the number of people that hate you, and doesn't that hurt?' It takes a crazy person not to be affected by that."

Burnham: "I don't really care about capitalizing on momentum."

Burnham: "The thing is, I always thought I could do stand-up, and so I just stayed focused on the belief that I could succeed."