Handler: "I'm a standup comedian, so I need people."

Handler: "I've always had a big personality. I was trickier as a kid. I behaved erratically instead of consistently. I would have tons of friends, and then I would have no friends. I'd be with the cool girls, then the uncool girls. I migrated from group to group because I was bored or people got bored with me. I was very intense."

Handler: "I try to make fun of everyone as often as possible, especially minorities."

Handler: "I try not to apologize, especially publicly. That's a slippery slope, because I'm a comedian. If you take anything I'm saying too seriously, then you shouldn't be paying attention in the first place. If you find me offensive, don't follow me."

Handler: "I've always had a problem with authority. That's why I had to be my own boss."

Handler: "I want to educate people and deliver news that isn't just surrounded by Charlie Sheen. I'd like to be able to do the serious stuff in conjunction with the comedy."

Handler: "I'm really into the human interest thing. I really like regular people."

Handler: "There's a difference between racism and people making a joke about something. There is true racism going on, and people should be able to identify what that is, comparatively."

Handler: "Don't think about anything for too long. Even if it's off-the-wall, go for it. You'll have a lot more fun in life."

Handler: "There are times I felt insecure or not sure: I'm unsure of myself, or I get nervous, but nerves are good. I try and embrace all those things. I try and embrace the times where I'm not sure of myself or I'm like, 'Is this going to work? Is this going to land?'"

Handler: "The love that comes from friendship is the underlying facet of a happy life."

Handler: "People ask me why I'm so hard on men. It's because they've gotten a really easy ride. And it's not that I think women should take over the world. But I do think it should be 50/50."

Handler: "We women have to stick together."

Handler: "Once you've achieved success, and you're making decisions that are working, I don't understand why anyone would be second-guessing themselves."

Handler: "I have severe ADD, and I'm constantly looking to amuse myself."

Handler: "I wanted to be famous. It's embarrassing to admit, but I came out to L.A. thinking it would happen in no time. I thought, 'Once they see me, they'll be so glad I came.' I always had a ridiculous amount of self-confidence about what was going to happen to me."

Handler: "I love a stupid joke, something that doesn't make any sense."

Handler: "You either become like your parents or you become the opposite of your parents. And I like to think that I'm the opposite of my parents."

Handler: "I'm a devilish kind of person, but I embrace it. I don't try to fight it. It's proven very well for me."