Thriving with Kindness in a Ruthless Culture
What? Like it's hard?

BY LEIKA BAND

In a world, where people are constantly throwing each other under the bus, is it wise to stay the "nice girl" or should we put on a facade just to avoid being run over?

I've always felt a bit like Elle Woods in my workplace, you know, determined, focused, and kind. I’ve trusted people I shouldn’t have, thinking if I wouldn’t do harm to someone, they wouldn’t do it to me. Geez, how wrong I was.

One thing I've noticed is that in Indian work culture, there's a dreadful lack of recognition, but an abundance of judgment when someone makes a mistake. So people do anything to shift the blame, even for their own mess-ups. Accountability? It’s often nowhere to be found.

After getting burned a few times, I was left with a jaw dropped to the floor at how far people can go, even when it wasn’t my fault. I thought, "You know what? I can play this game too." So I rolled up my sleeves, and I started documenting every offline conversation, refusing to accept any responsibility for risks, and calling people out in meetings, I thought I can be just as cutthroat. That’ll teach them, right?

But after a few days of trying to play the mean girl, it just didn’t sit right with me. It felt so out of character, and I was weighed down by guilt. It's not in my nature to be like the people I’m surrounded by at work. And tbh, why should I be?

Instead, I'd argue that we start by being the example of what a kinder, more collaborative workplace could look like. Teamwork and positivity are so much more effective for increasing productivity than is blame-shifting and credit-hoarding.

So, to all the "nice girls" out there, let’s get together and kill them with kindness?? Why stoop to their level? Being a credit-hoarder, a blame-shifter, or just plain rude isn’t a good look. Instead of being like them, we have the power to shift the narrative by staying true to ourselves.  Kindness is not a weakness for sure,  it's a different way of doing business, one that leads with empathy and accountability but does not sacrifice integrity for lame competitiveness. In the long run, people will remember how you made them feel, not how ruthlessly you climbed the ladder. And who wants frown lines anyway? A clear conscience and a sweet soul will age a lot better.

That being said, kindness doesn’t mean naivety. My advice? Continue to be kind, continue to lift others up, but never forget to protect yourself. Watch your back, because trust is earned, not given out for free. You can be warm without being walked over, and you can stay true to yourself without losing sight of the reality around you.

So keep driving down the road of kindness, but hey, always check your rearview mirror because you never know what might be coming up behind you.