She never felt the need to believe in anything larger than herself, or anything that she couldn't touch. Then again, she was always so lost within the scope of her own self she started doing things to contradict this opinion. Everytime she swam in the ocean she would make herself get all the way in in counts of five, one for each of her limbs and her head. She would hold her breath until tiny air bubbles would force their way out of her mouth so that the salt water could fix whatever needed fixing in her life. She would get out, dry herself off and do nothing about whatever was bothering her in the real world. She had all of these expectations that she would hold way above her head, but if anyone asked her she would play the role of the skeptic. Maybe she would make a comment about how gargling salt water is good for your teeth and prevents cavities, and that would be all it could ever do for someone - not that it’s any good for vanity. Her dentist told her that once.

Either way, she never cared much about any of that. She only looked at herself in crowded mirrors because then she could look at her face next to ones who have truly lived. Today it was a group of women: the blonde one with red, cracked lips that hid yellowing teeth, she was wiping the corners of her mouth with a tissue. A brunette with deeply set wrinkles that she seemed proud of and another who looked like she had been awake for days. They looked like angels to her. The women had so much to talk about and the girl would listen because being ten years old was never as interesting to her. They were on their way to live a whole lot more, while she was doing her best to hurry back to her mother who waited outside for her.

She always took so long because she’d try to invent stories about the women and she would make them the heroes in every single one of them. More times than not, women in bathrooms would compliment her hair bows or maybe on the fact that she was dressed like a doll. It always felt like a compliment from GOD. She was always told her beauty was a gift (from God?), and she noticed that this was said to young girls a lot, but it was not nearly as interesting to her as the beauty that proves itself over time, like the kind she saw in the mirrors. She could not wait to have yellow teeth when she got older.