Sexual Assault + Harassment

If you are sexually assaulted while abroad it is important to remember it is NOT your fault. The following information and resources are available to help ensure your safety and decide on your next steps. Click here.

Common Reactions to Sexual Violence.

Sexual assault of any kind can result in a host of reactions—some are immediate, some can be long term. The variety of reactions may depend on the survivor's previous life experience, the kind of force used, the relationship of the offender to the victim, etc. Most survivors experience levels of fear, anger, self-blame, depression and anxiety that can be exhibited both emotionally and physically. Difficulty sleeping and concentrating, social withdrawal, nightmares, flashbacks, emotional numbing are all common reactions to sexual assault.

Immediate Needs and Safety.

• It’s not your fault!
• Go to a safe place.
• Contact a friend or family member you trust to be with you.
• You may want to call the local sexual assault center they can answer questions and concerns. Click the link above for resources.
• You may want to get medical attention for possible injuries, STI’s, pregnancy and/or for evidence collection if you would like to pursue a criminal complaint.

A GUIDE FOR FAMILY AND FRIENDS

When someone you care about has been assaulted, you may feel upset and confused. At a time when you may want to help most; you might be dealing with a crisis of your own. Your support at a time like this can be extremely helpful to a victim of sexual assault. Here are some guidelines to help you through this time:

Believe. Believe her/his experience without question. Do not blame them. Whatever the circumstances s/he was not looking for or asking to be assaulted. It is very common for the victim of a sexual assault to blame themselves. The blame for rape rests squarely and only with the assailant. There is no way of knowing what would have happened if the victim had acted differently.

Respect. Respect her/his fear. Assailants commonly threaten to harm the victim if s/he does not comply. Often victims feared that they would not survive the assault. This fear does not go away when the rapist does. This fear is real. Help her/him deal with it by finding ways to increase their safety.

Accept. There may be strong feelings. S/he has the right to any emotion: to be numb, sad, angry, in denial, terrified, depressed, agitated, withdrawn, etc. Being supportive is an attitude of acceptance of all feelings, an atmosphere of warmth and safety. Tolerate their needs; be there for them.

Listen. Let them know you want to listen. It does not matter so much what you say, but more how you listen. Try to understand what s/he is going through. They did the very best they knew how in a threatening situation. S/he survived. Give her credit.

• Let them talk; do not interrupt.
• Find time to focus on the victim. Ask what s/he needs from you.
• You may feel nervous about stalls and silences. It’s okay to be quiet.
• Try repeating back the things they’ve said as a way to continue the talking.
• Reassure her/him that s/he is not to blame. Blaming questions such as, "Why didn't you scream?" or "Why did you go there?" are not helpful. Instead, you might say, "It's difficult to scream when you are frightened" or "Going someplace unfamiliar is risky, but you were not asking to be assaulted."

Take it seriously. Pay attention. This will help validate the seriousness of their feelings and her/his need to work them through. Sexual assault can be a shattering experience which a victim does not get over in a hurry or alone. It may be months or longer before s/he feels fully recovered. Recovery is a process of acceptance and healing which takes time.

Stay. Stay with her/him as long as they want you to. One of the most upsetting losses experienced by rape victims is the loss of independence and solitude. For a while, many victims feel frightened and vulnerable about being alone. This will pass with time. Meanwhile, be good company.

Let the victim make their own decisions. Do not pressure her/him into making decisions or doing things s/he is not ready to do. Help them explore all the options. It is essential to respect privacy and confidentiality. Let them decide who knows about the sexual assault.

Care about her/his well-being. In order to care about your friend, you may need to cope with some difficult emotions of your own. If you are experiencing rage, blame or changes in how you feel about your friend/relative, you can be most helpful by finding ways of coping with your own emotions. Sexual assault is not provoked nor desired by the victim. In fact, sexual assault is motivated by the assailant's need for power and control, and a desire to humiliate and degrade the victim. Advocacy programs in your area have staff/volunteers that can help people sort through their feelings and emotions. To find a program near you click here.

*This information is from the Women’s Resource Center Web site.