5 Ways to Keep a Man’s Attention

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How do you keep a man interested and show him that you’re worth keeping around, especially once he realizes that you’re not perfect like he thought (none of us are)? Being yourself is always a good place to start, but there are other things that you can do to keep a man by your side, help him to really appreciate you, and take that step to commit.

Here are five ways to get on your guy’s good side.

1. Learn to speak his love language.

First and foremost, find out what his love language is. You can make him dinner every night, but if his love language is “words of affirmation,” you’ll be spinning your wheels.

Once you’ve determined his love language, you can tailor your affections to his needs, and you’ll even reap the benefits. When your man feels loved, he’ll be more likely to shower you with the affection you deserve.

Words of Affirmation - If this is your guy’s love language, he craves verbal affection and praise. He needs to feel that you value him and the things he does, however insignificant they may seem.

Make a point of saying “thank you” and, at least once a day, tell him that you appreciate him. It’s important to follow your words with actions, but just a few simple words will make his day!

Quality Time - If quality time is most important to your man, he will feel loved when you spend time together that is free of distractions.

For instance, depending on the person, watching television together may not constitute quality time. Instead, choose an activity that will allow you to focus your attention on him. Try to make a point of having dinner together alone at least a few times a week, and take advantage of your extra time on the weekends to plan something fun that requires interaction. You’ll be amazed at the difference a few hours can make in helping to keep a man happy!

Receiving Gifts - While this love language may sound expensive, it doesn’t have to be. Some people simply need love to be expressed in visible and tangible ways. Pay attention to the little things that make him feel loved.

Put a note in his work bag with a Hershey’s kiss, or buy him a book that you think he would enjoy. Surprise him at work with lunch or a cup of his favorite coffee. Little things like this will go a long way toward making him feel special and fulfilled in your relationship.

Acts of Service - Acts of service include making your guy dinner, doing his laundry, picking up his dry cleaning, getting his car washed, and any other chore that can make his life simpler and less stressful.

Pick two things to do for him each week, in addition to what you would normally do, and your man will feel loved!

Physical Touch - Physical touch should be one of the easiest love languages to work with, as a simple hug or kiss is all that it may take for him to feel secure and loved. If showing affection is not easy for you, try to step out of your comfort zone and show him you really care.

To find out more about your guy’s love language (and yours), visit Dr. Chapman’s fivelovelanguages.com, and take the 30-second quiz!

2. Give him space.

You can help to keep a man interested by simply giving him space. He needs alone time, or at least time to pursue hobbies and interests that you might not share.

Pick a time each week when you each do something on your own or with your friends. It’s always important to maintain your own friendships even when you’re in a relationship. In the novelty of a new relationship, many people are tempted to spend all of their time with their new date, while letting other relationships slip.

Remember, there may come a day when you need the support of your friends, so make sure you stay in their good graces!

The next time he tells you he made plans with his friends, smile and tell him to have fun. Then, schedule a date at the spa with a few of your friends.

3. Don’t be his mother (but get along with her).

The last thing your guy needs is a second mother.

Now, we all know that the men in our life need some help and guidance at times (OK, all of the time), but there are ways to do this without taking him back to his high school days when his mom constantly nagged him.

Try asking him to do something just once, and if that doesn’t work, ask him gently a second time, but give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t show him that you are bothered, or he’ll resent being asked to do it.

He’ll be much more likely to accommodate you if you stay positive and make him feel like he wants to do it to help you.

4. Learn to like (or at least tolerate) the things he likes.

People are different, and that’s what makes us so unique. It’s also what enables us to have meaningful and special relationships with others.

It’s important to realize from the onset that your guy won’t be exactly like you, and believe me you wouldn’t want that! Can you imagine if he went to get a pedicure every two weeks or spent an hour styling his hair every morning?

That being said, we’d all love it if they would just let us be when we do take longer to get ready or when we spend money to keep ourselves looking good for them. Just the same, we should be willing to let them watch football and baseball, or even spend the weekend hunting with family or friends. With time, you might even start to enjoy watching football!

Bottom line: if you want him to humor you when you go shopping or sun yourself by the pool, you need to be willing to spend a few hours doing what he loves to do.

All good relationships involve give-and-take, so try giving more, and then you won’t feel bad taking a little, too!

5. Don’t push the “M” word.

We all know that the “M” word is enough to scare any guy away, especially if he’s not ready for it. If you’ve been dating for two years and the subject has never come up, then you might want to gently broach the subject. On the other hand, if you’ve only been dating for six months, you may need to be more patient.

Forcing a serious issue like marriage may do more harm than good. Concentrate on making him happy and he’ll eventually come around. And if you do finally venture into the dark waters, be prepared to gently back out if you sense he feels overwhelmed. Give your relationship a chance to run its course naturally.

At the same time, don’t keep a man around longer than you should. If you give him adequate time to commit and he still doesn’t seem interested, it may be time to give him the boot.

The most important thing to remember in a relationship is that your work doesn’t stop once he’s yours. In fact, even the best marriages are based on hard work, and if you want to keep a man, there’s no better time to start than now. Put these five principles into practice and he’ll be yours for good

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