The Question is “Why do I Self Sabotage?

I truly believe this project will put me a huge step closer to fulfilling my dreams of a world that knows and understands love and the joys of relating. 

For a good number of people their current answer to this question would be "for as long as I could remember (starting around the age of 5) I'm programmed for disappointment".  You have been too.   “Why do I do the things I do?” I have always believed that i must ask myself "why" so I can get an answer to fix the problem. 

 A technique that I am going to use to answer this question is a variation of the technique called “7 levels deep.” I am not sure who created the technique to give them full credit (I first heard of the technique from my friend O'Raphael, who heard it from Dean Graziosi who learned it from someone else) but it is basically asking the question several times (ideally 7) so you can understand the root cause of a problem. This is one of the tools I use to understand my own behavior. I can get very emotional doing this because why is an emotional question. But it's when you feel the emotions that you know you are getting closer to the answer. 

The primary disadvantage of using this technique is that it usually brings the communication from the logical parts of the brain to the more emotional part of the brain that doesn’t have a good ability for language. Long story short, the answers that you come up with at this stage are going to sound very weird and won’t make sense. To fix this, you have to clean up the articulation so that it makes more sense so do it as you go along after you poor out all the unfiltered thoughts.

1.   “Why have I not been writing for 25 minutes a day when I truly believe that doing so will help me accomplish my dreams?”  I self sabotage meaning that I subconsciously do things that stop me from doing the things I want to do and are beneficial to me. 

2. “Why do I self sabotage? In short my answer is that I am scared. The better word would be extremely terrified to make a decision that I came up with all by myself. (Starting to feel a little emotional writing this part). 

3. “Why am I completely terrified to make my own decisions?”  My answer is I feel like something bad will happen if I make my own decisions. It is not because I believe that I will fail. Not at all! I have a lot of confidence in myself to make good decisions. It feels more like someone from the outside will come out of nowhere and punish me if I make my own decision and not follow theirs. 

4. “Why do I feel people want to punish me for making my own decisions?” (I am feeling very emotional right now- it usually happens when you ask 4th why)  The reason they will want to punish me is that they will take my not following their advice and ideas as an insult. They would hear “That I don’t want to take their advice because I think they are stupid, useless, I feel like I am better than them and the world would be a better place with out them.” which is not the case. 

5. Is this accurate? A more accurate reason would be “I don’t want to take your advice or use your ideas because they are not a good fit for me.” But I feel like my intentions will be misunderstood. The next question is ...

See how this works?  I have three more to go.  Try it.

Ask what you have not been doing that you know will help you reach your goals, then ask why 6 more times.  Comment and share your progress.