How to be More Socially Confident

Some people have social confidence to spare, and some just look like they should. It's easy to see that some children are seemingly born with great social confidence, while others are not, but it can be practiced and encouraged! However, social confidence seems to fluctuate for most adults only becoming an issue when a serious lack of social confidence leads to isolation or stifles career growth. If there's one part of your life in which it pays to be confident, it's in your RELATIONAL interactions.

Use these strategies to increase your social confidence and feel comfortable in all social situations:

    1. Practice. Every person that crosses your path is a practice partner for your social skills - EVERY PERSON.  Flirt with your best friends especially. The more practice you get, the better you’ll become at interacting with others. The better you become, the more confident you’ll feel. There are all kinds of typical things you can practice:

        ◦ Eye contact

        ◦ Small talk

        ◦ Non-verbal communication

        ◦ Telling jokes

But the most important thing to practice are MANNERS.  Manners are gorgeous and sexy in every way. Manners open the door to finding satisfaction when:

        ◦ ASKING for what you want by VOICING DESIRES plainly in a BOLD REQUEST.

    2. Rehearse. Embrace a moment of mindfulness to see yourself socially successful on stage. Before you head into a social situation, rehearse in your mind. See yourself being confident and competent, just like a comedian in a stand-up performance. Imagine others responding to you in a positive way. In time, you’ll learn to feel the same way out in the real world.

    3. Adopt an elevated attitude when it's not a matter of life and death. No one is judging you or spending any of their time thinking about you. In fact, I promise you, they’re most likely wondering what you’re thinking about them.  Interacting with people in a social context can be fun and pleasant when you have a reasonable perspective on the situation.

    4. Focus on self-development. When you feel better about yourself, you’ll be more socially confident. Whether that means getting in shape, learning a new skill, or meditation, any enhancements you make will leave you feeling more confident.

    5. Learn. Learn about communication. Pick one area, such as nonverbal communication, and become an expert. Then, get out and practice. When you’ve mastered that, pick a new area to learn about. The more you know, the better you’ll become. That leads to real confidence.

    6. Avoid the need to be perfect. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the funniest person at the party. You don’t have to be the most charming person in the bar. Perfection is an unreasonable goal that leads to anxiety and a lack of confidence.  Better to be authentically flawed and relatable.

    7. Join a social group. You know a group of people that hang out together. It might be at work. It might be a friend that has a separate group of friends. See if you can join, too. Finding the right group of people can boost your social confidence.  If you already have a group of friends, spend more time with them, or better still, become the social director!

    8. Combine social events with activities you’re good at. Are you a great softball player? Join a softball league. Are you an expert at riding a motorcycle? Join a motorcycle club. Find an activity you excel at and turn it into a social activity.

Think about how much your life would change if you were more socially confident. How would it impact your career? How would your social life be affected?

It's hard to think of any potential downside to having greater social confidence. If you weren't lucky enough to be born with perpetual confidence, you’ll want to grow and nurture this important attribute.

Now, make a list of everything you do better than the average person. Now, find a way to do that in a group setting. You might join a band, a chess club, or a group that square dances on the weekend.