Delayed Orgasm and Masturbation

The Main Problem: Your hand is not a pussy, and right now, you’re liking your hand more! You have been masturbating for decades, and you’ve honed in on a very specific technique to use over and over again. This approach works well when you’re on your own, but like you’ve discovered with your last relationship, can wreak havoc when you start having sex with a partner. Your body is so used to your specific touch that it has a hard time responding to your partner’s. (Good news is that you don’t masturbate in a way that’s not possible to replicate with a partner, like sandwiching your penis between your mattress and box springs! Yes, lots of guys do this)🤷‍♀️.

Suggested Solution: Train your body to respond to other types of stimulation. It will take some time, but it’s definitely doable. There are an endless number of ways to masturbate, the goal is for you to reach orgasm from many types of stimulation on your own.

If you’re feeling less adventurous in masturbating, you can switch up your stroke,

try different levels of speed or pressure,
use non-dominant hand, or
try using a new lube or desensitizer.

Reddit can be a good source of inspiration. https://www.reddit.com/r/sex/comments/1bbbuw/reddit_lets_get_weird_what_are_your_masturbation/

You’re single right now, so try using different masturbation techniques at least half of the time you masturbate.

However, when you are in a new relationship, try stopping your old standby technique completely until your dick starts being more responsive to a wider variety of touch. This means taking a complete hiatus from masturbation to increase your overall sensitivity. Regular breaks of a week or more can help increase the level of sensation you experience.

(Chances are you’ve been paying more attention to porn instead of your body and that desensitizes your cock over time. - these effects aren’t lasting, but it takes a determination to change routines.)

Second half to the Problem: Taking too long. This is also a consequence of using a very specific or unusual masturbation technique, since it’s harder to orgasm when you aren’t using that method. For example, many men use a very firm grip on their penises when they masturbate - a “death grip”, so it can’t get hard or finish without that extra pressure.

The Solution: As I suggested above, try using different masturbation techniques for a while, to get your body used to responding to a wider variety of stimulation - (Have you seen American Pie? Get creative).

Try playing with masturbation techniques where you’re not in full control of the stimulation. Sex toys are a potential solution here, like the FLESHLIGHT, an oral sex simulator.
Try masturbating without your hands, perhaps by pinning the FLESHLIGHT in between the mattress and box spring, and thrusting into it!
Try incorporating masturbation into your partnered sex life. If you feel comfortable with your masturbation habits, there’s nothing wrong with helping yourself along when you’re with a partner. Use your own hand to get closer to orgasm before resuming sex with your partner. Masturbating in front of your partner or mutual masturbation can be an incredibly sexy experience for both of you!

The bottom line here is to be mindful about the role masturbation plays in your life. Being honest about your habits and working on developing healthier patterns can greatly improve the quality of your sex life!