RECONCILIATION

In this chapter we will consider the idea that 'in Christ God was reconciling the world to Himself' (2 Corinthians 5: 19 ESV). From God's point of view, this was the purpose of the atonement. It was not just so that we could be forgiven and have a place in heaven that God gave His only Son to die for us but to reconcile us to Himself so that we who were His enemies might become His friends. It was neither a thirst for retribution nor merely His duty to uphold the law that led the Father to send His Son to die for us. It was His longing that we should be reconciled to Him that led Him to do so. For God, the atonement was not a matter of retribution but of reconciliation.  It was not a legal matter; it was a deeply personal one. 

Eric Knopf says that his understanding of God changed completely when he realised that: 'Jesus did not come to save us from God - but to reconcile us to Him.'

Among the dictionary definitions of the English word 'reconciliation' are the following:

• to restore friendly relations;

• to settle or resolve differences between two parties.

Reconciliation and atonement are closely related concepts. Atonement is normally made by the offending party so that reconciliation may take place with the one who has been offended. The issue that has come between the two parties, keeping them apart, is resolved so that reconciliation can take place.

Three Greek words, all from the same root, are properly translated by a form of the English word 'reconcile' in the New Testament. An article taken from the Theological Journal Library CD says that in the eleven instances where one of these words occurs in relation to reconciliation between God and man:

'...in every instance man is said to be reconciled to God, and God is referred to as the One who effects the reconciliation. From a preliminary survey of the New Testament usage, there is no reason for rejecting a simple definition of  reconciliation to the effect that it is the work of God through the  death of Christ by which sinful man is brought to spiritual fellowship  and moral harmony with Him. In this definition, reconciliation is viewed as dealing with man’s position with enmity in his sinful state and the resultant work wipes out that enmity and transforms man into a new creature, making possible his eternal fellowship with God.'1

Now this is remarkable. When human relationships break down, there is usually some degree of fault on both sides. Neither side is entirely without blame. But in terms of man's relationship with God, this is not the case. In this case, the fault is entirely ours. God has nothing to apologise for or to make amends for in order that we might be reconciled to Him. Since the fault is entirely ours, the onus is on us to apologise and to make amends in order that we might be reconciled to God. And yet according to the New Testament it is God who takes the initiative to seek reconciliation with us through the death of His Son. 

What a challenge this is to those of us who are Christians. If we want to be like our Father in heaven, we must always be the first - even when the fault is not ours - to seek reconciliation when relationships break down. This requires a willingness to forgive and to be reconciled right from the start - before there is any indication of repentance or a desire for reconciliation, before there is any sign of remorse or a change of behaviour from the offender. It was 'while we were still sinners that Christ died for us' (Romans 5: 8). God didn't wait until we were sorry, He didn't wait until we changed our behaviour to send His Son to die for us. The means of reconciliation was provided for us before any of that had happened. His forgiveness was not conditional upon our repentance. Our repentance did not bring about any change in God's disposition towards us. He never stopped loving us; His heart's desire from the beginning was not for retribution but for reconciliation. 

Forgiveness and reconciliation, however, are not the same thing. Reconciliation involves both parties in a broken relationship. One must be willing to forgive; the other must be willing to change in order for the relationship to be healed and restored. Forgiveness may be extended by the offended party whether or not there has been any acknowledgement of wrongdoing from the offender, or any indication that he is willing to change, but unless the offender is willing to acknowledge his wrongdoing and change his behaviour there can be no reconciliation. 

God's offer of forgiveness was extended to us before there was any recognition of wrong doing or willingness on our part to change. But God requires repentance and change on our part in order for us to be reconciled to Him. And God wants us to forgive others as He has forgiven us. But forgiveness does not mean overlooking the offence and pretending that nothing has happened and nor does it mean having to simply put up with ongoing abuse. If the person who has offended us has been made aware of the damage their behaviour has caused, but is unwilling either to make amends for it or to change their behaviour, we are to forgive them freely from our hearts but we are under no obligation to restore our friendship with them. God expects us to forgive and to seek reconciliation wherever possible; but He does not expect us to overlook and put up with abusive behaviour. And the fact is therefore that no matter how much we may desire it, sometimes reconciliation is simply not possible; sometimes the other party does not want to be reconciled. 

In human terms, the restoration of friendship between two parties involves an admission of wrong-doing, a willingness to make amends and a change of behaviour on the part of the offender and a willingness to forgive and to be reconciled on the part of the offended.

This is beautifully illustrated in Paul's letter to Philemon - a wealthy house church leader from Colossae. It seems that one of his slaves, Onesimus, has stolen some money from him and run away. We don't know how, but somehow he has come into contact with Paul in Rome. The children's versions of the story that I have seen all suggest that he has been caught thieving and ended up in prison alongside Paul. But I think that is unlikely, since Paul spent most of his time in Rome under house arrest, rather than in prison. I think it is much more likely that Onesimus has come to work for Paul in some way while he was living under house arrest. In any case Paul has got to know Onesimus well and it seems that Onesimus has become a Christian through Paul's witness to him.

But Paul has clearly told Onesimus that he must now go back to his former master, Philemon, and seek his forgiveness. To make this easier for him, Paul writes the letter we have in our New Testaments addressed to his friend Philemon asking him to forgive Onesimus and to welcome him back again - no longer as a slave but as a brother. Paul clearly wants Philemon and Onesimus to be reconciled and does everything he can do to enable this to happen. 

I can almost hear the conversation that must have taken place between Paul and Onesimus:

Onesimus: But I can't go back. There's no way Philemon will ever forgive me after what I've done.

Paul: Your master and I are friends. He will listen to what I say. I will write to him and ask him to forgive you.

Onesimus: But what about the money I stole? It's all gone now. I can never pay it back.

Paul: Tell your master to charge it to my account. I'll pay it back for you.

Onesimus: He still won't want me back again. He always said I was 'useless' because I was so lazy, dishonest and unreliable.

Paul: Your may have been 'useless' in the past. But I'll tell Philemon how much you have changed since you became a Christian and how 'useful' you have become to me. (NB: The name Onesimus means 'useful'.)

In his letter to Philemon Paul addresses the wrong that Onesimus has done and does not ask Philemon to simply overlook it. In order to be reconciled to his former master, Paul knows that Onesimus must firstly be prepared to own up to what he has done and to take full responsibility for it. He must, secondly, be willing to pay back the money he stole and to make full restitution for any losses he has incurred to Philemon. And thirdly, he must be able to give evidence that he has changed; that he has become a different person - no longer 'useless' but 'useful'. Even so - there is no guarantee that Philemon will forgive him and accept him back into his household again; he is under no obligation to do so. And so Onesimus's fate rests entirely in his master's hands. Will Philemon show mercy to him as he himself has been shown mercy in Christ? Paul clearly thinks this is the right thing for him to do - and indeed out of generous love rather than grudging duty. But unfortunately, while we have the letter that Paul wrote on Onesimus' behalf - we do not know what the outcome was. We do not know whether Philemon forgave him or not!

When our house was flooded for a second time during a period of heavy rain, because a switch in the pumping station across the road from us did not come on as it should have done to clear away the excess rainwater, there were three things we wanted to hear from Northern Ireland Water, who were responsible for the pumping station:

1. 1. It was our fault - we accept responsibility for the damage that was done.

   2. We will pay for the damage and see that everything is put back as it was.

   3. We will take steps to ensure that it won't happen again.

For me, this illustrates the steps an offending party needs to take in order to resolve the issue that has come between them and to be fully reconciled to those they have offended. And thankfully in this case the issue was (eventually) resolved to our satisfaction. Northern Ireland Water accepted that they were at fault, the damage was paid for and steps were taken to ensure that the problem would not arise again and so we were able to let the matter rest. There was no need for us to take anyone to court to be prosecuted for their negligence.

In our earlier chapter on God's Justice we noted that in Old Testament times, retributive punishment was not invariably required when a member of the Israelite community 'broke faith with the Lord' by wronging others through deception, fraud, robbery or theft. Provision was made whereby reconciliation with the offended party could take place so that if the necessary steps were taken by the offender, the sentence of the law need not be applied. The steps that were necessary included recognition of wrong doing, repentance and restitution.

So in a sense Paul is following the provisions of the Old Testament law when he asks Philemon to forgive Onesimus on the basis that he is ready to acknowledge his wrongdoing, that he will pay back to Philemon in full whatever he owes him and that he is no longer the person he used to be and has already begun to prove himself useful. On this basis, Paul asks Philemon to forgive Onesimus so that reconciliation can take place and that the punishment he deserves can be avoided.

Although it was not his intention to do so, in writing this letter Paul has given us a wonderful illustration of the gospel. In order for us to be reconciled to God, we need to be ready to do what Paul enabled Onesimus to do. We need firstly to acknowledge the wrong we have done and to admit that the fault is ours. Secondly, we need to be willing to make restitution for the damage we have done. Of course, we do not have the means to do this but just as Paul was able and willing to pay back to Philemon what Onesimus owed him, so Jesus is able and willing to pay back to God what we owe him - to restore everything that was lost as a result of the fall. Thirdly, we need to give an assurance that we have changed; we have turned from our own way to God's way. In and of ourselves we are unable to do this either without the help of the Holy Spirit to renew us inwardly day by day. But again, wonderfully, this has been secured for us by the death and resurrection of Jesus through whom the controlling power of sin has been broken in our lives.

Jesus has done everything that needed to be done and provided us with everything we need to be reconciled to God. Through His life, death and resurrection He has shown that He is able to restore everything that was lost as a result of the fall. And He has opened up the way for us to change and to become all that God requires us to be by the power of His Spirit living in us. Which is why Paul says that 'now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God' (verse 11 NLT).

But there is still one more thing that we can learn from the story of Onesimus as we note the part that Paul played in (hopefully) bringing the two parties together. Reconciliation between two divided parties often requires a mediator - someone who is trusted by both parties, who knows both parties well and who can speak to each party on behalf of the other. Paul was well placed to act as mediator between Onesimus and Philemon since he knew them both well, had earned their trust and could represent the interests of each to the other.

And of course, as both man and God, Jesus is perfectly qualified to mediate between us and God and this He continues to do in order that reconciliation may take place and that our relationship with God may be restored and maintained.

So when Paul says that 'God was in Christ reconciling the world to Himself' we now have some idea of what this involved. In Christ, He has provided us with a means of paying back the huge debt we owe; in Christ He has provided us with the means of becoming all that He requires us to be through the transforming work of His Spirit. And in Christ, He has provided us with the perfect mediator between us and Him.

God has provided us with everything we need to be reconciled to Him. But we must be willing to play our part too. We must be willing to own up to our sinfulness and to repent of it and we must be willing to put our faith completely in the promises of God that have been secured for us by the blood of Jesus as the only way in which we can come back to God and be reconciled to Him.

And this means that for some, in spite of what the Calvinists say, the death and resurrection of Jesus will have been in vain. There are those who will be lost in spite of all that He has done to save them. There are those who will not turn away from their sinfulness and come back to God; there are those who will reject His offer of mercy and refuse to be reconciled to Him. And it is impossible even for God to be reconciled to someone if the person concerned does not want to be reconciled to Him. But the point is that no part of the blame for this can be laid at God's door. He has done everything He possibly could to enable us - every single one of us - to be reconciled to him. If we refuse this amazing grace that has been offered to us, we only have ourselves to blame. What more could He have done?

Notes

1. https://bible.org/seriespage/12-reconciliation