2017 offSeason

The 2017 Offseason - what happened?


  • Despite rumours of Fred Orca signing with Luisitanian Blues, no contract appeared and he has now signed with the Yooperland Speedtraps.
  • Rain Winterson, runner-up in the Developmental Series 2017, has signed with Creamed "CORN". A powerful team assembled there.
  • Egil Van Can has signed with Yee Valley Racing.
  • Corky Cadorkian will be part of John Aston Racing for the 2018 season, partnering Corey Creek.
  • L.A. Brick will be ceasing his work for DTFU and the team will fall inactive, as he moves over to the Luisitanian Blues.


  • Fred Orca (unowned) - re-hired by Yooperland Speedtraps.
  • Violet Carrick (Hokie) - hireable, will be independent if not hired.
  • Jayden Slipper (Michaze) - retired, not hireable.
  • Fireplug Fitzpatrick - voluntarily demoted to Developmental.
  • Lars Ungar - voluntarily demoted to Developmental.

RUMOURS (in chronological order of event, earliest to latest)

  • Yee Valley Racing has made an offer to Egil Van Can (independent), but he's not sure Emil Ziskie will be a strong enough teammate.
  • Jay Wolff has been officially approached by one of the new teams on the block, John Aston Racing!
  • Creamed "Corn" has reached out to Developmental Series graduate Rain Winterson as a possible second driver to champion "Cuke" Caulfield; an idea she seems extremely receptive to.
  • Egil Van Can has publicly stated that he is "looking for a team to match his abilities."
  • The Lusitanian Blues may well be looking for an independent driver for the first two races of the season only, while they wait for new driver Aiden Slipper to graduate from the Developmental Series.
  • Looks like Lars Ungar is out at Prost Racing, replaced by developmental driver Yokum Schmidt.
  • Fireplug Fitzpatrick is being sent to developmental by his team, Yooperland Speedtraps.
  • Jay Wolff has rejected an attempted hire by John Aston Racing: "Jay Wolff only races for 2 people. Himself and the bees. Also fill my cars with bees." he said in a statement late last night.
  • Team Bong claim there will be no changes at all this season, continuing with Max von Passum and Garrad McKinley in 2018.
  • Rumour has it that when Abnabner Salad was informed that his teammate had found a replacement so swiftly, he decided to get his name out there by appearing on a cooking show with an episode about vegetarian cuisine. He made a big salad and stared directly into the camera, his face a rictus of unholy glee, while chopping the cucumber. OH DEAR PERHAPS HIS FEELINGS ARE SLIGHTLY BRUISED.
  • Egil Van Can has clearly had a change of heart, and has chosen to sign with Yee Valley for the 2018 season.