Intentional Discipleship gives you a plan to follow, but as a mentor, you need to look beyond executing the plan and look to guide the men and women in your group. As you get to know your group, you will notice that some need special attention in different areas of their lives. Everyone comes into the process at different stages and with varied backgrounds. They will never say, "I need help in this or that area." It is up to you to look into their lives and encourage them in the right direction.
Your group will automatically look up to you because of your position in the group, even more so if you already have a relationship with them. Leverage your influence to make an eternal impact in their lives and eventually in the lives of everyone they influence. Do not shy away from this responsibility. It may be the most significant thing you do in your life. Here are some areas that most need a little help.
Manhood and Womanhood - This is one of those areas that we learn from being around Godly men and women. Not everyone has a role model in their life. That responsibility may fall on you to be that positive influence in their life. I came from a broken home, and my dad was not around during my teens. A man discipled me when I was in my twenties. He taught me how to love God, how to love my wife, how to take responsibility, how to lead, and much more. He impacted not only me but my wife and kids, and every area of my life.
Accountable Lifestyle - Everyone NEEDS accountability. Model this in your group throughout the year. Share about the benefits of accountability in your own life (by the way, are you in an accountable relationship?) Assist them in forming an accountability group within your group that will carry on after the year is over. We are not designed to live life alone and unchecked. It is a formula for disaster. We are in a spiritual battle, and no one goes into battle alone and survives.
Spiritually Disciplined - This is a broad topic, but be on the lookout for ways to stretch your group. If you have someone good at a specific discipline you are discussing, challenge them to go beyond the assignment. If you see a group member slacking in a particular area, encourage them to step up their game. This is another opportunity to share from your own life.
Find & Develop Their Personal Ministry - If you can help them find their calling, they will grow in confidence and do more than you or they could ever imagine. Throughout the years, I have seen many become leaders in the church, create and launch new ministries, and go into full-time missions.
Navigate the issues/stages of life - Every year, I have someone who is blindsided by life—stuff like job loss, marriage issues, sickness in the family, preschool years, etc. Because you are older and have already been through these challenges, your experience becomes invaluable to a younger believer. This is when the mentor becomes most needed. These critical points in life can create powerful teaching opportunities. Lead them through life's challenges and teach them to see God amid the storm.
A fully devoted follower of Christ - This is our ultimate goal.
The way we achieve these objectives is through relationship. The most powerful tool a mentor has is the relationship, which is the special sauce of the discipleship process. We were created to be in relationships. We need key relationships to be successful in this life. One of those relationships is with a mentor. Think about all the most impactful people in our lives - a parent, a coach, a teacher, or a supervisor. They are all mentors because of their influence and or relationship.
Benefits of a Mentor with Relationship:
Teach AND Train. Ephesians 6:4 challenges fathers to bring their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord. The same is true with mentors. We not only teach but also do hands-on training. If teaching is the game's rules, then training is actually playing the game and making adjustments. Training requires a relationship with the mentor.
I See You. Mentoring is up close and personal. You are both known and seen by the mentor. There is nowhere to hide or to escape accountability.
Power of a Rebuke. Proverbs 27:6 says, "wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses." I would rather be rebuked by someone I trust who cares about me than by someone I barely know. We need people in our lives who will tell us the hard things.
Motivation. I am more willing to risk when I trust the one asking. The military is excellent at establishing the chain of command. But when asked, most soldiers say they are not fighting for their commander but for their brother who is beside them. You will do more out of a relationship than from a position of authority.
Encouragement - I am more encouraged when a friend compliments me than when a stranger says something nice.
Iron Sharpens Iron - Proverbs 27:17 is a popular verse within discipleship ministries. It says, "As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another." It is a picture of sharpening a steel blade. Rubbing iron along the blade knocks off the rough edges and makes the blade sharper. The same thing happens when we are together. We make each other better. That's why accountability and discipleship (mentoring) are essential in a believer's life.
