We all have probably had moments in our childhood when we tried to change our name. I know I certainly have. I’ll never forget the episode of Full House where Steph Tanner goes through a list of possible name changes before eventually realizing that her name is part of who she is, and who she has become. It was part of her identity.

Now, identity is certainly not the reason most elementary kids want to change their name. I’m sure for me (and for Steph Tanner) it was more about sounding cool or picking something that wasn’t as easy to make fun of. But for many people choosing new names today, identity does come into play. Of course, we can imagine a teenager recently coming of legal age and using a name change to help create a new identity, one separate from their parents. Selecting a new name is also a very common practice among Asian students coming to America who would like an “American” or “English” name that might be easier to remember or write. There are families with children who are identifying as a different gender and thus use a new name. In many of these cases, the name change doesn’t become legal right away, yet the name signifies a shift in Identity. Many newlyweds also use name changing to come under the same last name, signifying unity and a change in identity.

Luckily I haven’t started this article because of any of those groups of people. A few days ago I was sitting at a family dinner and the topic of baby names came up. To give some context, we have 3 pregnancies in our extended family right now as well as several more in our friend circles so talking about baby names isn’t as weird as it sounds. Anyway, my wife Emily mentioned her confusion behind parents choosing the name Leah (which has spiked in popularity over the last decade) because of its meaning in Hebrew. We also mentioned other names like Jacob, and then jokingly some of the more obscure biblical characters. Each of these names that came up had one of two qualities. Either the meaning of the name was very unflattering, or they were names that were associated with specific people that experienced circumstances, or made choices we would certainly not hope our children experience. It was then that a family member made me think about my own opinion on the subject. She asked, “Do you think you guys might be putting too much importance on the meaning of a name?” It’s that statement that has led me to write out my thoughts and experiences here, and I appreciate the self-reflection I have been able to do because of that question.

So here is my response:

Choosing a name is one of the first privileges a parent gets to have on the road to building a family. One of the things I am most passionate about as I prepare to welcome our first baby into the world is being intentional. I don’t want my choices, words, or actions to be an accident that I look back on hoping that I did enough. I want to choose how I will speak to my children, how I will set an example for them, and how I will lead my family. That is why I view choosing a name for a child as such a privilege. It is one of the first ways I get to intentionally encourage, love, and bestow identity to my children.

Do our potential names sound good to us? Of course.

Do they set our kids up for more scrutiny than Steph Tanner had? Not really.

Do our choices include opportunities to honor family members and close friends through passing their names down? Absolutely.

I don’t view our choices as abstract, or sacrificing sanity for the sake of intentionality.

A name can be such a powerful thing. So powerful in fact that we see God changing people’s names in the Bible when they make radical identity changes. A name can become part of our identity, and it can also be an amazing tool for encouraging our children to live their lives from their God-given identity to love others and walk with Him.

Now it’s your turn! I’d love to hear your reactions to this article! What did you think?