my thing with older women


I'm having my 25th birthday soon, and as such I'm probably going to have a quarter life crisis. I'll find myself buying half of a sports car, or ogling half of a girl that is too young for me (probably the bottom half).

I'm only half serious about that, I don't have any money for sports cars, and no need to ogle, my girlfriend has a fine bottom and top half. But I probably will get a little anxious about what being 25 means, so I'm glad I have my girlfriend. She's older than me, so she's done it before, and she can stop any potentially bad facial hair.

While this knowledge of what being certain ages feels like is nice, that's not why I love older women.

I've been thinking about that topic a lot though and here's the thing, I've always loved older women. For examples I could cite every non-mean teacher I've ever had. For instance when I was in college there was a professor that I loved so much that I took every class that she taught, even South African Women's Literature. This is kind of sad, but I used to listen to that America song "Tin Man" and imagine us walking our dog in the park, and picking flowers and identifying them with our field guide, and then helping a small boy who has fallen down on his roller-skates, we would lock eyes as we give him a little push towards his parents and she would ask me if we could have a child of our own.

That's usually where the song ended and I would, embarrassed, go back to hanging out with kids my own age.

And then after college I went on to date women my own age and it was alright, but like fate always does I fell for another older woman, this one at the grocery store I worked at.

I would say hi to her every morning and she would excitedly shout back "Hey Joe". I bagged groceries at her register only once on the day before Thanksgiving. We talked about little things like the weather, how busy it was that day, and how to bag eggs so they don't break. Then that Stevie Nicks and Don Henley song "Leather and Lace" came on the store speakers. "I love this song," she said. I told her I loved it too and for a while there were no customers and we just stood there and listened.

That night I downloaded "Leather and Lace" and listened to it. I thought about her and I singing it as a duet in a karaoke contest. We would win best couple and spurred on by that we would become a great couple. We would take long drives on the cape (where I think she said she was from) and listen to talk radio (something she told me she loved that I would put up with for her.) And as we pull into our timeshare she would ask me, "would you be the father of my baby? You don't have to be involved in his life if you don't want to be, but I'm not getting any..."

That's usually where the song would stop and I would, embarrassed, go out to a bar with friends my own age.

I've thought a lot about why I love older women since I've started writing this, and I have really narrowed it down. It's not because I need a mother figure, my mom's great. And it's not because I have some weird desire to act like a child, in fact I think it's the opposite of that; I want to grow up faster. As an uncool boy growing up (lost in my older women fantasies) I sometimes feel like I need to catch up to everyone else. I fear I have missed some things in life and maybe part of my love of older women doesn't have to do with the fact that they are older at all, but that they have knowledge of things I am interested in. They have experienced things that I never have, or am afraid of.

Like 25th birthdays. Which brings me back to my original worry. Thinking about it now I think I'm less nervous about turning 25. I have the love of a great girlfriend, the knowledge that there is something a little better about being older than being younger, and a 1999 Toyota Corolla. bring on the second quarter.