This devotional is all about forgiveness. Forgiveness is something we all have heard of no doubt. However, have you ever stopped to consider what forgiveness looks like, or why we should forgive? I’m even certain many of us don’t even follow the bible steps of forgiveness. As we go through these next few days, take the time to use the lessons learned in your daily life.  

Lamentations 3:22: 

“Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.”

The dictionary defines the verb forgive as ‘‘stop feeling angry or resentful towards (someone) for an offense, flaw, or mistake;’’ and also as ‘‘cancel (a debt).’’ Forgiveness is an action one must do. A similar word, mercy, is defined as ‘compassion or forgiveness shown toward someone whom it is within one's power to punish or harm.’ Mercy, a noun, is how you define what someone has done when they choose to forgive. 

In other words, to forgive is to go against an offense, such that you disregard what the situation or person warrants, and instead choose to respond with compassion. If only Sallie Mae could show mercy and forgive some student loans, right? 

Often times, as believers when we are wronged, we find it hard to forgive and show mercy. Someone forgets to call you back yet again, and you become upset. Someone throws you under the bus at work, and you become upset. Logic follows that you are allowed to be upset. You are allowed to internalize your emotions and act on them. You are allowed to register and even keep record of that offense. Nevertheless, as believers who are called to live like Christ, we must always lean into mercy. When you have decided to let someone go, you have exercised your inner ability to go against what makes sense. Lamentations 3:22 says: “Through the LORD’s mercies we are not consumed, Because His compassions fail not.”

After all, the best example of forgiveness we will ever know is the debt Jesus paid on the cross for our sins. Jesus chose to truly forgive us that we may enjoy what is called mercy, and through it receive the gift of salvation. 

Be intentional today about being compassionate, especially when offense rises. Choose to forgive and show mercy. 

Pray today: Heavenly Father, help me to always be compassionate towards others, especially when offense arises. Help me to show your people mercy, even as you have shown me mercy. Grant me the grace to choose forgiveness in every situation that I may be more like you. Amen. 

John 3:16: “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

As a former Science Technology Engineering and Math (STEM) major in undergrad, I remember why the emphasis of women in STEM became a big deal. The rationale was that by highlighting women in these fields, you could encourage other women to venture into STEM. Whether in the job world, in raising children, or even mentoring others, we learn that people emulate what they are exposed to. When it comes to forgiveness, we can look to our Heavenly Father as the example. John 3:16 tells us, “For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten son that whosoever believes in him shall not perish, but have everlasting life.” 

I’m certain you’re wondering how this tie into forgiveness. As humans, we sinned and created an offense against our God. Despite that, God used the love he has for each of us to give us an opportunity to be reconciled with him through what we refer to as salvation. On the condition that we want to be reconciled, that bond of eternal life that only He can offer, is restored to us. The truth is, forgiveness requires something from both parties. We can’t look at it as a one-sided situation where one person comes to beg and all power belongs to the offended person. 

When we choose to forgive, we should first come from a place of love, and extend an olive branch. Take the time to step back from the hurt and focus on the love, give the person a clear idea of what amends need to be made, and focus on the type of relationship you want to maintain/pursue with the person. 

If you are the offender, be willing to admit your wrong and make the amendments needed within reason. You can appreciate the chance to make amends with the offended person but understand you’ll need to work hard to build up the bond again. 

Be intentional about giving forgiveness from a place of love and restoration. When we can do that, we truly emulate God. 

 Pray today: Heavenly Father, in every situation, grant me the ability to love like you - that true love will beat out every other emotion. Help me to love others enough to want restored relationships, and help me to put in the work to make restoration possible. Amen.

Hebrews 12:14:

“Pursue peace with all men, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.”

 Imagine this - you were on a project at work with another coworker. This coworker is more talkative than you and just has a great bond with the team lead. You both work hard, but you are more detail oriented. You notice a mistake and discuss it with your teammate, and they mention it to the lead. In the middle of a staff meeting, the team lead gives your coworker a shout out for bringing the mistake to management’s attention. Now, even though your coworker tries to correct the lead, you’re offended! You start having a Kermit and inner Kermit meme moment as inner you wonder what the coworker even said to give your team lead that impression. Sound familiar right? 

When we think about offense, we are accustomed to think solely about how others offend us, but we need to remember, despite what others intentionally do or don’t do, we can decide if we want to take offense. Sometimes in the moment of offense, it is important to operate from outside the situation and think. The truth is - some things just happen without anyone intending to hurt you. In those moments you have to make that personal call to say, is offense worth it, or is it not. Another aspect of forgiveness, is peace. Peace within ourselves and peace with others. Hebrews 12:14 says “Pursue peace with all men, as well as holiness, without which no one will see the Lord.” In other words, Peace + Holiness = See the Lord. I bet you didn’t learn that in school. It’s not a mistake that peace comes first in this equation. The truth is, pursing peace with people, is one of the hardest things to do. That is literally you deciding every day that despite what people do or don’t do, you won’t harbor negative feelings, or ill will towards them. In other words, for forgiveness to work, peace has to be your default. I know this is easier said than done, but practice makes perfect. 

Be intentional about pursuing peace with those who knowingly and unknowingly offend you.

Pray today: Heavenly Father, help me to let peace be my default. Grant me the ability to pursue peace with all men, and to understand that you desire to see me make and keep peace with others, as best as I can. As I pursue peace, let me find it easier to forgive. Amen. 

Matthew 18:15-17: “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” 

In the late 90’s there was a tv-show called ‘Forgive or Forget’. The show would start with a guest who had offended someone. The guest would retell their offense to the studio audience in an attempt to seek forgiveness from the offended party. If the offended person chose to forgive the offender, they would show up behind the door leading to the studio stage. If they chose not to forgive, the door would open to an empty space.

Now if you’ve offended someone, or someone has offended you, I’m not advising you to go on national TV to settle the matter. However, there is something to be said about intentionally seeking resolution of unforgiveness. Matthew 18:15-17 says, “If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother. 16 But if he does not listen, take one or two others along with you, that every charge may be established by the evidence of two or three witnesses. 17 If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the church. And if he refuses to listen even to the church, let him be to you as a Gentile and a tax collector.” 

In short, what this passage tells us is to be methodical about resolving offense. First try to resolve it privately, if that doesn’t work, take a neutral mediator. If that doesn’t work, take wise spiritual counsel. Finally, if all else fails, distance yourself from the person. The truth is, sometimes we are so overwhelmed by hurt, we invite other people into the matter to side with us before we have even approached the person who offended us. Other times, we pick and choose steps to try and when those don’t work, we automatically distance ourselves. But Jesus laid out this process for us to follow because He desires for us to choose reconciliation whenever possible. 

Also, while not captured within the verses, another important principle is to always leave the door open, even after trying. The passage ends saying to treat anyone unwilling to seek resolution as a gentile or tax collector, but that doesn’t mean the case is closed. After all, weren’t Matthew and Zacchaeus tax collectors? Yet Matthew became a disciple, and Zacchaeus welcomed Jesus into his home securing salvation for his household. No hurt is easy to bear, but when we go through the process Christ laid out, we can rest assured knowing we have done our due diligence.

Be intentional about making every possible effort with others.

 Pray today: Heavenly Father, help me to take the time and effort to forgive and seek forgiveness. Direct me to the right mediators and spiritual counsel. When reconciliation isn’t possible, grant the peace to move on without ill will. When reconciliation will take time, grant me the grace to keep the door open. Amen.

Matthew 18: 33:

 “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?”

 Everyone appreciates a good gift! And what a great gift forgiveness is. Have you ever noticed when some people get great gifts, they have a hard time sharing it with others? Forgiveness is a gift from God that we all receive and are encouraged to give. In Matthew 18, from verse 21-35, we are introduced to the unforgiving debtor. 

As the parable goes, a servant owed the king a great debt he couldn’t pay. The servant begged the king and the king forgave him. This same servant turned around and went to a fellow servant to collect a smaller debt from the fellow. He had the fellow servant put in jail until he paid the debt. Verse 33 reads: “Shouldn’t you have mercy on your fellow servant, just as I had mercy on you?” Question of the hour, right? The king then threw this servant in jail until he could repay his debt to the king. Yikes, how did that servant get himself into this mess?

If God were to take things to heart and be unwilling to forgive like we can be with others, we would forever be paying debts we couldn’t afford to pay. When we think about all that we have been forgiven for by God, compared to what others have done to us, we should want to forgive all the more. The parable highlights that because God has forgiven us, he expects us to show mercy and forgive others. And anything short of this hampers our ability to be forgiven. I don’t know about y’all, but I know my sin debt as of today, without any idea of future sin debt and I like the sound of free.99. Understand today that God desires for all of us to be forgiven - and for all of us to forgive. Take the time to think about those who you haven’t forgiven and let that debt go. 

Pray Today: Thank you oh Lord for the priceless gift of forgiveness. Even as you have given this gift to me today, let it be the gift in my life that I love to keep giving. Help me forgive the minor and major things people have done, understanding that you forgave mine without hesitation. Amen.

John 21: 17:

 The third time he said to him, “Simon son of John, do you love me?” Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, “Do you love me?” He said, “Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you.”

Many people are walking around today with unforgiveness towards themselves. As crazy as this sounds, some of us have dealt and still deal with this. While some other people don’t even realize they are dealing with it. It can be for a myriad of reasons; for mistakes made, and even at times, for things outside of our control. As Christians, we are not exempt from this either. One of the most profound turn of events in the bible to me, is the restoration of Peter. In Matthew 18:13-20, Jesus asked his disciples who men say he is. Peter declared him as the Messiah, and for being spiritually in tune, Jesus said Peter is the rock he would build his church on. Fast forward to Matthew 26:31-35, at the Mount of Olives, Jesus says Peter will deny knowing Jesus three times before the rooster crows. Peter, self-assured that he loves Jesus too much to do such a thing says it would never happen. Well, let me be the first to tell you in case you didn’t know, Peter denied Jesus three times, and the rooster crowed. Peter was so pained by this; the bible records him going outside to weep bitterly. Nevertheless, the story, much like the crucifixion story, doesn’t end here. 

Later, in John 21:15-19, Christ reappears after the crucifixion to Peter. He eats with Peter and after eating says, “Peter do you love me?” To which Peter responds, yes, and Jesus tells him to “feed my lamb.” Then Jesus asks again, “Peter do you love me?” Peter says yes. And Jesus asks him to “take care of my sheep.” Finally, Jesus asks a third time, and this time Peter, feeling hurt, tells Jesus he should know without a doubt that Peter loves him. See even though Peter denied knowing Jesus three times, Jesus has Peter declare his love for Jesus three times. A lot of us are still bent out of shape thinking about things we have done, that we prevent ourselves from moving on and living out the life God intends for us to live out. Whenever you are having a hard time with self-forgiveness, start with love. Do you love God? Are you willing to still live out the purpose he has declared over your life? Then forgive yourself, and be restored. 

Pray Today: Heavenly Father, in every way I have disappointed myself, reappoint my love in you. Help me to hold on to the words you have declared over me and to be willing to live them out, today and forevermore. Amen. 

I pray this devotional has caused you to think critically about your relationships with others, and yourself. To be transparent, in the amount of time it has taken me to write this devotional I have offended, and been offended. I have even been offended with myself. Likewise, in the time it has taken you to read through this devotional, you may also have offended and been offended. Forgiveness isn’t easy, but it is needed. It gives us the ability to move on past things that would otherwise present themselves as spiritual, mental, emotional, and physical roadblocks. I say physical because some of you are holding grudges that are damaging your health or impacting where you can and can’t go. God has loved us so much in our mess, and outside of our mess that he gave us the ability to forgive and rid ourselves of those burdens.  

I love music so I compiled a list of songs on forgiveness, mercy and love, that I think all of us could benefit from. 

 -       O Come to the Altar – Elevation Worship

-       Excess Love – Mercy Chinwo

-       Mighty to Save – Hillsong Worship

-       Mercy – Cwesi Otong

-       Your Love – William Murphy

-       Reckless Love – Israel Houghton

In the words of Lewis B Smedes: "To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you. "

Set free and be set free today.