I love it! Good stuff that bears repeating. And repeating. And repeating (I sometimes feel a very slow learning). It'll be 5 years this spring that I've been dancing tango Argentino. Yet I feel so wet behind the ears. I keep peeling away layers of extraneous stuff, keep learning more about keeping it simple, staying connected, listening to her body, dancing from mine. Thanks.
Brilliant! :o)
I have a somewhat sideways viewpoint on this that gels with your cute 20 year-old who wants to do ganchos.
What comes across to me in all the points is that the leader has to be authentic. One of my favourite tangueras once said to me "Oh, I thought you didn't like milonga?" to which I explained that I'd only just gotten to the point where I could understand milonga music and move in a way to it that I wanted to. I'd always wanted to, I just hadn't been able to before.
As a leader I think you have a few choices. First, try and figure out what it is that you really want to do? Does Pugliese make you go :S or :o) Do you deep down want to dance ganchos?
The easy answer is to then focus on that and find the women who want to dance that way, whatever that may be.
But there is another answer. Try out other things and ask yourself why is it you don't like them? Then go and talk to people who do like them. Check that there aren't hidden reasons. Tango lyrics used to irritate me because I don't speak spanish and I was told that they're all depressing and whiny. But then I went and looked up the translations and there's incredible beauty in them and now I love lyrics.
I also reckon every once in a while it's worth checking that the things you don't like, you still don't like.
But I'd still stick with dancing with tangueras who can follow you in a way that is authentic to them.
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Hans - Thank you for your feedback, Hans. We never stop learning this dance.
TP - lol, I am actually working on a post from the other side of the embrace, but the answers so far tend to be a little on the snarky side. (I find it's best to ask those questions before the wine starts flowing lol.) And that part of the quote (Gustavo etc etc) wasn't really what I was drawn to - more the first part. But it seemed strange to only have the first part in there.
Ghost - btw - the 20yr old/ gancho comment - I've heard about 8 variations on the same sentiment. It is a reality that has to be acknowledged. *shrug*
I agree that the authenticity is the key. If you don't know yourself - you can't know your partner. And you have to make peace with the fact that things change - your preferences, others' preferences, your reason for "being here, doing this". Nothing stays the same. That's why I still take lessons in the things I like least because most of the time there is something to be learned - even if it's only, "nope, still hate it." At least I'm not acting on an assumption.
Now back to work on Part III
Wonderful post, Mari.
TP, I talked to the DJ in a crowded milonga with excellent dancing recently. He said: "Look at that. It's wonderful to see how it flows. You don't get to see that in many places." My answer was: "But it must be very difficult for the leaders to deal with so many other couples on the floor." "Oh no", he said, " the most important thing for a leader is to hold the woman in his arms." :)
Ghost, I don't think I agree on the "authenticity" thing. There are very authentic leaders who just do horrible things which are still authentic.
Ghost, but what you wrote about milonga has a lot to offer me. There are only very few leaders with who I dance it, and even with them I don't feel very comfortable. Most of the time I use the milongas for resting and watching, but I'm always a bit sad and feel that I would like to do something about it. I just don't find out what it is. Maybe points No 2, 3, 8 and 10?
@Cinderella
Loosely speaking in my experience there's two types of leaders. There's the ones who genuinely want to do horrible things and there's the ones who either don't know there's a better option / have been told that the better option is bad in some way / are scared of taking the better option.
My feeling is that the one's who genuinely want to do horrible things should go for it. And do them with women who want to do that, ideally in a venue filled with people who all want to do that. And then I can dance with women who want to dance the way Mari's describing in venues filled with people who also want to do that.
As for milonga, for me personally
1. I don't want to dance like a drunken sailor
2. I don't want to dance sequence 1A three times, then sequence 1B three times and so on.
3. I don't want to step on every single beat (in what would be double-time in tango).
=oWMatXH-bIw
4. Sometimes I want to muck around. Where I'm not really leading anything and we just move together in all sorts of fun and interesting ways that I could never actually dance if I had to think about what I was doing, particularly as a large part of it comes from the woman. I'm not interested in doing it properly. As long as the woman is comfortable and having fun (and we don't hack off the surrouding dancers) anything goes. Laughing may well be involved....;o)
Hope that helps
One hidden thing about milonga - you can think of it as getting a full body massage to periodically help get rid of the stresses and tensions that gradually accumulate if you only dance tango all night.
Cinderella and Ghost - great comments from you both, thank you.
I only learned to love milonga when I realized that when things go wrong - there's no time to fix it or worry about it. Just keep going. That took the pressure off for some reason, and then I could really enjoy milongas after that.
btw that's one of my very favorite videos, Ghost. Gorgeous.
Thank you so much. This kind of effort you have done is extremely valuable, because it is based on statistical patterns and not just personal opinion which some people can easily disregard.
All advices are very good, but I have to comment on the second one. Of course not waiting for the follower is very important, and probably very typical mistake many leaders make.
But if we go little bit deeper on the subject, if you are dancing in more fluid and circular (I am talking about nuevo), it is necessary that the initial impulse for the for the next direction starts already while the follower is still completing the previous step.
In our society the difference between the masculine and the feminine energy is often blurred. I will not enter in the debate why and how it happened, I will just explain why tango is able to fix this.
What she find so beautiful in this experience is not to have to always figure it out for him; she does not have to guide him. In this position, she can feel his masculine energy, his strength and determined action. She can focus on feeling him, feeling the music, and feeling the dance. She can be more woman.
Humans are playing animals. We love to do things which are crazy and fun. Tango gives us opportunity to engage in activity which is its own goal. This releases us from stress of being focused and effective.
We all feel good when we express what we have inside. We also feel good when we are being considered valuable and when we shape our identity close to what we think of ourselves. Tango gives us opportunity to express all of this in a healthy social environment.
Being such, tango touches the core of our identity and feeling of self worth. This is why being considered a good dancer makes us feel fulfilled and being considered a bad dancer for some people is a bitter tragedy.
Sundays are our Tango days. My husband and I set aside our desire to linger over a big weekend breakfast of eggs, avocado toast, salmon, and capers. Instead, we quickly eat our standard fruit with cereal. Rather than pensively reading the contents of the Sunday newspaper or tending the garden, we shower and don our dance clothes. Peter opts for a crisp button-down shirt. I decide on a graceful skirt. For our ninety-minute group lesson, we bring with us special suede bottom shoes that easily glide across the floor.
Like many Americans, I used to think that Tango was a Spanish dance related to bull fights, castanets, and flamingo dancing. Dramatic and romantic, the stereotype image was a couple dancing cheek to cheek, the man with a rose between his teeth, ready to declare his passion for his partner.
In Finland, a very specific style of tango has evolved. And as previously mentioned, there are European and American ballroom versions as well, but Argentinean Tango has a devoted following that has resulted in Milongas (social dance gatherings) being hosted around the world. Tango takes its influences from a myriad of cultures, and therein lies its richness.
In my experiences and travels I have been able to observe a disturbing trend that is prevalent in many of the larger tango communities. This harmful behavior manifests itself at milongas, festivals, and marathons. It seems to be universal.
First, let me say that it is human nature that in any social group the more popular, or successful, or beautiful people will tend to stick together. Likewise, in any type of dance community the better dancers will tend to dance among themselves.
It is marked by a group of very experienced dancers who, over time, form an exclusive clique in which they associate mostly with themselves. This behavior effectively isolates them from the rest of the tango community. This small block of more experienced and knowledgeable people essentially anoint themselves to be the nobility. They look down on everyone else like nobility would look down on the masses.
In modern times this sort of thing typically begins to show itself during junior high school years. But it is a type of behavior that seems to be ingrained deep in our collective human experience. Tango seems to bring out and amplify deep rooted human emotions and passions. 152ee80cbc
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