Then they finally decide to do something and go tell lockhart that it's a basilisk and where the entrance is. They see he's a fraud , but they take him to the bathroom. They get the sink to open. Great.
However, most human beings relish knowing secrets and granted, most of us are pretty bad at keeping them. This is why it is slightly unfair to even ask someone to keep such an important secret. I believe that if you tell just one person a secret, you risk it getting out, no matter how much someone says they will keep mum.
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The more you cruise, the more you pick up on cruise tips and secrets the cruise lines don't always tell you. Even seasoned cruisers can sometimes miss out on the little cruise secrets that save money, make life in a cruise cabin comfier or even lead to the best food options onboard.
To help you find more cruise tips and secrets, we trawled through the advice on Cruise Critic's Member Boards. Whether you're a first-time cruiser or a cruise regular, our list just might help you find secret food and drinks, tips on Carnival and Royal Caribbean, and shore excursion hacks you didn't know.
Note: This American Life is produced for the ear and designed to be heard. If you are able, we strongly encourage you to listen to the audio, which includes emotion and emphasis that's not on the page. Transcripts are generated using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and may contain errors. Please check the corresponding audio before quoting in print. Prologue: PrologueSusan Burton It's This American Life from WBEZ Chicago. I'm Susan Burton sitting in for Ira Glass today. There are these videos I've been watching-- videos of female politicians telling very personal stories. Here's one of them. It shows Gretchen Whitmer. She's now the governor of Michigan, but she's speaking here a few years ago when she was a member of the state legislature.
There are some questions I explore with couples in helping the couple manage and talk through discovered secrets and other betrayals. Most important is talking about what these secrets mean to each partner, and how the couple is managing this discovery. Try going through these ideas and see how you feel at the end of this exploration:
Here is the thing about secrets after a death: sometimes we seek the truth and sometimes the truth smacks us in the face, whether we want it or not. Michael Hainey spent years investigating. Other grievers I have known uncovered secrets accidentally, while sorting through belongings or talking to old friends.
Sometimes these secrets are wonderful and positive things, but more often they are not. Many times these secrets are complicated, but no matter what they change our story and our understanding of the past. In case you are feeling alone in learning a secret after someone you love died, these are just a handful of the secrets we commonly hear people learning of after a death:
If you have learned information, you may need to share it for certain practical or legal reasons. In other cases you may feel a weight on your shoulders about whether you should share this information. If you are struggling with this issue of telling others I highly recommend watching Stories We Tell and reading After Visiting Friends, as both Polley and Hainey grapple with this decision. If you do decide to offer the information to others, you can approach it as just that: an offer. You always have the option to share that you have learned something about your loved one that had been kept a secret and ask the other person if they want you to share. It may be hard to imagine someone declining that, but if you are honest that it may be difficult information to hear some people may pass on learning the secret.
This comes up most frequently around telling a spouse, parents and children. There is a fear of shattering the image someone had of their loved one. There is no easy answer and each situation will be different, based on both circumstances and people. But again here you can defer to giving someone the option to learn the information. Also, if multiple people already know the secret it may be helpful to discuss together, as conflict can arise when families disagree about when and how to share a secret with others.
Though Hainey and Polley both struggle with complicated emotions around the secrets of their parents, something interesting happens at the end of both narratives. Sarah's father says of the secret and their family's story, "How ironic it was that the final revalation and its aftermath had brought Sarah and I closer together". On the last page of his memoir, sitting with his mother, he describes the scene saying, "She goes silent, and in that moment I see her anew. Here I am -- a son who went looking for his father, and found his mother". The emotions of grief are unbelievably complicated on their own, secrets can take us down a path that means weeks, months or years of processing even more complex emotions. But amidst all the anger, pain, confusion, blame, guilt and whatever else is brought up, there is a chance that unexpected and beautiful things will emerge.
My husband and I were married ten years when he died suddenly from a heart attack, but we had known each other as good friends for more than twenty years. After his death, I started going through boxes he had in storage when we moved in together. I found letters and other proof that he had two gay relationships before we were together but while we knew each other. I knew he had relationships during that time, but had no idea they were with men. I felt hurt that he never trusted me enough to tell me the truth, and it has also made me question everything about the relationship he and i had. Apparently, his brother and sister knew. They have never said anything about it, and I have not let them know that I now know. They have both told me that he was happier with me than they had ever seen him. I am just so confused.
If the problem no longer exists, it may be wiser to sort it out with your own conscience before taking the complicated and highly unpredictable step of discussing it with your wife, assuming you decide to do so. I think it would be hard to say if or when she would forgive you; she might, but she might not, or it might take years. You, of course, know her better than I do. What is it you feel will help the relationship by telling her? If it is more a matter of your own conscience, is she the best person to offer forgiveness or redemption?
CHANG: Thank you for being with us. So, you know, for much of your life, the story that you understood about who you were is that you had a Dominican mother and a Chinese father. And their marriage was this, like, transaction for immigration status. And I want to ask you about something you wrote early on in the book, something your mom had told you. She said your father was chosen for that transaction largely because, quote, "Chinese was the closest thing to a white man." That sentence, like, burned into my brain. Can you just tell me what you felt she meant by that?
CHANG: Yeah. Well, the heart of this book - you know, it explores this specific relationship between you and your mom. She was the teller of your story, the keeper of the secrets that you would later discover. Can we just step back? Like, how would you describe your relationship with your mother as you were growing up?
CHANG: It then eventually becomes even more confusing as you discover the secrets your mother kept from you while she was alive. And I don't want to give away the exact details of what you ultimately discover. But there is this larger question you ask, and that is, how do you let go of your racial identity after you have held onto it for so long?
WONG: Yes. I say in the book, how do you stop being Chinese? You know, it's - you can't erase the first 31 years of your life, that you had these two parents that happened to be of these races and ethnicities. That was your experience. Now, to discover biologically that I'm not is one thing, and I get that. And I've accepted that, of course. But I don't say now I'm Dominican Chinese. I say I'm Afro-Latina, but I say I was raised Chinese. And that's all I can say. But I'll tell you, I'm still - it's something very, very difficult because you don't ever want to appropriate. You always just want to respect what's happened and the origins and the truth. And so that's what I try to do - is respect the truth of that.
WONG: So that stuff - it doesn't stop. Also, my brother was a Wong, my older brother. Alex was probably the only biggest fan and support I've ever had. So I'm a Wong with him and his daughters. As to what that means to everybody else, I'll tell you the short story. It depends if you want the short story or the long story.
Even though the show would later be retitled House and clearly center around Laurie's character for the rest of the series, Laurie did not originally think House would be the main character. Laurie assumed that the show would focus on House's best friend, Wilson, because he didn't think a man like House could lead the show.
So could an atheist join? No, said James Sullivan, Grand Master of the Grand Lodge of New York: "The reason we, I think in the past, wanted somebody that had a belief in a supreme being is because we take certain obligation to be a good man, to support the fraternity. And if you didn't have a belief in a supreme being, the obligation would mean nothing."
"I'm sure there are a lot of Freemasons who want to believe [they're Masonic symbols] and who will tell it to you, because it makes the Lodges seem important," Jacob said. "I mean, if you have a symbol on the dollar bill, that's a big deal!" 2351a5e196
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