Uh oh. We screwed up. We need to apologize but we aren’t sure of the best way. We feel a little lost and awkward, but we want to do it right. Well, here are some tips. But each situation is unique, so you need to find your own way in your own situation.
First, tell the person you are sorry and own what you did. Use words like “I” and “my,” “sincerely,” “very,” etc. Find words and body language that show sincerity. Practice role play with a friend to make it easier. Keep it private and not public unless that is part of the plan. If the offense is minor, maybe a brief apology in an email would suffice.
Second, don’t offer excuses unless they are obviously a factor.
Third, sincerely express regret and remorse.
Fourth, offer to make amends. This seems important. You can be creative here. Possibilities range from fixing the damage to making some substitute (a donation or a gift or action of some kind). Maybe offer a plan of action to show you mean it.
It may take some time for the offended person to feel better. But don’t give up. Show patience and empathy.
While you may ask for forgiveness, you may not be forgiven, but your apology should allow you to forgive yourself.
Apologies can rescue and improve relationships.
Various approaches are described below in the links (accessed on May 3, 2024) below.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/the-art-of-a-heartfelt-apology-2021041322366
https://time.com/6264614/how-to-apologize-health-benefits/
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/02/16/well/live/apology-tips.html