Supporting Seniors

How to best support your children through their senior year:

Parents, it is not easy to be the parent of a teen. Your child is growing in independence and challenging authority, but they still need mom and dad. This is an exciting, hard time for both of you as you think about next year. You are letting your baby go out into the world. Can you trust them? Can you trust the world? Can you really afford it? So many what if’s run through your mind. 

Students you will always be mama and baba’s baby until they day they die. They are going through a transition too. Maybe you are the first one to go to university, or maybe you are the last to leave their home, they love you so much and want the world for you. There is no instruction manual for raising kids. You need to give them as much grace as you expect from them. You need to realize how scary this might be for them. How hard financially this is for them. The sacrifices they are making for YOUR future! 

Encourage them! Being a teenager is hard. They are growing up, needing to do more on their own but still needing direction and guidance from the adults in their lives (but probably don’t want to admit they need it!). They are feeling pulled in so many directions and expected to be excellent in all of it but they aren’t adults yet. They don’t know how to do it all and sometimes the best thing you can do is tell them you love them, support them, and believe in them. “I’m proud of you…” not just for the A but when they work hard, when they fail and pick up the pieces to try again. For many of you, results and effort were not where you expected them to be. We all want to see that improve this year. Perhaps as a family, you have decided tighter boundaries or restricted privileges needs to happen to change things, but so does encouragement. Too often, students tell me they might get a word of praise if they get an A otherwise it isn’t good enough. They give up because they feel they can never meet expectations. They need to hear I love you no matter what. You think they know, but have you told them?  Maybe even ask then what can you say (or do?) to encourage/motivate them. (Students- be realistic! Don’t ask for a car or even a PS4)

Talk to your kids. Be open with them about your concerns and your budget. Not to burden them, but so that they can try to understand where you are coming from in the university process. In class of 2019, there are 13 gap year students because of grades, unrealistic budgets, and some by choice. The more honest we can be early in the process, the more realistic we can be as we approach the application process and ultimately, hopefully save some money by not sending wasted applications or taking tests that won’t be needed.

School Communication: This is a team effort! We all need to work together for the best results. For university, we are looking for a place where your child is going to thrive, value their university education, and be a better person because of it- not just the academic classes, but a place where they truly find their identity and independence so finding a place that can nurture that.  

Please be sure to read all HOPAC communication. Do not assume your student is getting all the information themselves. If you have not been receiving the weekly newsletter or updates from HOPAC (not me) please email hopac@hopac.sc.tz to update your email contacts. I will update my list from the main list. Also, be sure to check your spam to ensure that your email have not been going into spam. 

Make sure they are going to school and arriving on time.  Homeroom starts at 7:30 if they arrive after 7:30, they are late. If they must miss classes because they are actually sick please email absent@hopac.sc.tz. Please ensure they are at school as much as possible. Please do not extend breaks for holidays. Students will be taught up until breaks. “fun days” rarely happen at HOPAC. Teachers are using every day they can to prepare your students for the exams. Every day missed is almost like missing two days because they are trying to catch up the second day from what they missed the first day. Being tired is not a good reason to miss school. Teachers are expected to teach every day. Students are expected to learn every day. 

Proper Sleep: On average, a person needs 7-9 hours of sleep a night to function well. That is not “2 naps” as many students do. It is at one time. Especially with the stress of senior year and their growing bodies, if students don’t get a proper night’s sleep, they will not be able to function well. Bodies need a reset. If there is a late night community event on a school night, it might be better for your child to not attend with the family. 

Eat properly: Food is the energy that drives the body. Students should start the day with a good breakfast. Send healthy “brain food” with your children. Students have a break at 10:10am and lunch at 12:45. If students haven’t eaten since before school started or even worse, the night before, anything they try to learn between 10:30 and 12:40 will be a great struggle to retain and students will struggle to stay focused and alert in class.  Send food that will give them sustained energy like fruits and vegetables. Foods high in sugar will give quick energy and then the students will have a sugar crash and struggle to focus. Also please know that we are a peanut free campus because of so many students severely allergic to peanuts. 

Encourage balance: A life of all study is setting your child up for high stress, burn-out, and emotional breakdowns. Encourage them to find something to release the stress through physical exercise like playing on a sports team, or just a mental break from academics through other hobbies such as music, drama, service, or reading a book for fun. This also helps the students learn now how to manage their time and balance multiple activities. When they get to university, we won’t be there to be their safety net.